Parents who went to Big 3 private who chose to send their kids public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are ok with the sacrifices your parents made, but aren't willing to do the same for your kids?

Some people think the public education is BETTER.

Lol. Only because they don't really comprehend the differences

Public certainly teaches our 3 kids not to waste $120,000 a year on middle school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

A social climber is someone who is looking to advance themselves socially in the DC scene. The moms I'm referring to typically have money and spend much of their free time going to galas, events, parties, etc. while their children are home with the nanny.

This seems like a pretty random reason for not considering a school. I would think academics, class size, location, ECs, reputation, cost, fit, and a bunch of other considerations would be far more important than social climbing parents. I rarely see the other parents at our school anyway.

[Anonymous]

So there are only so many spots at various private schools in middle and high school. I hear a lot of anti elitist rehtoric on here about private but it's acceptable in your pc world to jump ship later? And what happens when your child can't get in because there are no spots? Op you d listed pros and cons. Education is highly personal. I went to a big 3 and send my kids to a big 3. It's a sacrifice I'm happy to make and it is a sacrifice. We are nothing like the cliched private school families characterized on this thread. It's laughable. No need to deamonize private schools. What I've been told by educators is that with regard to private and public school if you you are going to both do private early and public later. Most do the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Oh and I know lots of social climbing moms at public.... my God of you met the moms from Mann? Mean blond mafia over there

[Anonymous]

So there are only so many spots at various private schools in middle and high school. I hear a lot of anti elitist rehtoric on here about private but it's acceptable in your pc world to jump ship later? And what happens when your child can't get in because there are no spots? Op you d listed pros and cons. Education is highly personal. I went to a big 3 and send my kids to a big 3. It's a sacrifice I'm happy to make and it is a sacrifice. We are nothing like the cliched private school families characterized on this thread. It's laughable. No need to deamonize private schools. What I've been told by educators is that with regard to private and public school if you you are going to both do private early and public later. Most do the opposite.

what is the logic behind going to private earlier?

[Anonymous]

The idea is that the most formative years of education for children is in the early stages. So, if you know you are going private at some point, it's actually better to put your financial resources into early childhood development where your children are taught how to think, to love learning, not over whelmed by huge classes or disruptive kids, and are given lots of recess time. Yes, some publics may fit the bill but if they don't then go private early and public later. This makes sense to me. I know families who went this route, big 3 early, Wilson for high school, and their kids are at Ivies now. We have kids in private now not sure what we will do for high school.

As an aside, as a private school parent I do not judge families who have the resources to send their kids to private but go public. It's so hypocritical how many public school proponents cast stones at private school parents. It is interesting to me that parents who went to dc private schools opt out of sending their kids to private but that's their choice, OP explained her rationale in part, so be it. So much vitriol for anyone who doesn't choose public.

Interesting read: https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/03/why-im-a-public-school-teacher-but-a-private-school-parent/386797/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So there are only so many spots at various private schools in middle and high school. I hear a lot of anti elitist rehtoric on here about private but it's acceptable in your pc world to jump ship later? And what happens when your child can't get in because there are no spots? Op you d listed pros and cons. Education is highly personal. I went to a big 3 and send my kids to a big 3. It's a sacrifice I'm happy to make and it is a sacrifice. We are nothing like the cliched private school families characterized on this thread. It's laughable. No need to deamonize private schools. What I've been told by educators is that with regard to private and public school if you you are going to both do private early and public later. Most do the opposite.

I agree! That is what I have always thought, but seemed to be a very unique position. I want my kids to get the best possible start to then succeed anywhere in highschool. Also, it is always easier (for admission purposes) to go from private to public than the other way around. Where did you hear this PP?

[Anonymous]

It's what the head of the kids nursery school had always espoused.

[Anonymous]

DP. I've heard a private school educator state this too (that early grades were more important than later). Not sure what research evidence there is to state definitively which is better for private, but it makes some intuitive sense. However, ultimately, I think it depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

Lots of educators say do private early if you have limited dollars. It's not a rare idea.

The problem is that it is easier said than done. It's one thing to go from private preschool to public elementary. It's much harder for your midde or high schooler to leave their frinds and sports and nice facilitie and highly-attentive teachers to go public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are ok with the sacrifices your parents made, but aren't willing to do the same for your kids?

Some people think the public education is BETTER.

+1

I don't regret sending our kids to MCPS over staying in Big 3 for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of educators say do private early if you have limited dollars. It's not a rare idea.

The problem is that it is easier said than done. It's one thing to go from private preschool to public elementary. It's much harder for your midde or high schooler to leave their frinds and sports and nice facilitie and highly-attentive teachers to go public.

I am sure it is hard, but it will be fine. I moved to a nearby town at 12 and changed school. I was fine within days. It would be difficult the other way around as well (public first and then private). So if you can't do private all the way...
We were talking about private first and then public or the other way around.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that although many of the posters claim that they want to send their kids to public first because they're not into status, it is per Cicely because they're so concerned about status that they want to make sure that their kids graduate from a name private school. Otherwise, why not just send them to public all the way through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not complicated, and you already wrote the answer yourself in your post: You simply can't reasonably afford private school. There are many things we all want in life for ourselves and our children, but we cannot afford them all. So we all do the best we can with what we can afford, and we all make hard choices among imperfect options. You looked at your situation - solid public school, house and neighborhood you like, jobs you have, lifestyle you want, etc - and you figured out the best combination of tradeoffs that work best for your family. No need to beat yourself up about it. If you figure out later that there's a different combination that works better for your family, you can change then.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that although many of the posters claim that they want to send their kids to public first because they're not into status, it is per Cicely because they're so concerned about status that they want to make sure that their kids graduate from a name private school. Otherwise, why not just send them to public all the way through.

Agreed. Like some of the previous posters, I prefer to send my kids to private for ES and public for MSand HS. I don't care about status and cannot afford 13-14 years of private school so I choose to spend it from 4 to 10 or 12