Parents who went to Big 3 private who chose to send their kids public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

Wow! You must be really scarred based on the number of times I've seen you post this same compliant.

This was the first time I've said that to anyone (or typed it).

It's also a pretty common theme among big 3 grads (I suspect PP is not one, but rather a current parent of the type we're discussing).

[Anonymous]

Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

[Anonymous]

The big 3 I attended was very different when I was there but it's WAY too elitist for me now. I couldn't imagine sending a child there. The abundance of wealth is already bad at our W feeder, I can only imagine how much worse it would be there. Plus DCs are getting a fine education where they are, and I can't imagine that the private education is anywhere close to $30K+ each a year better especially if the peer group is a bunch of entitled rich kids. I'll save my money for better uses like college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The big 3 I attended was very different when I was there but it's WAY too elitist for me now. I couldn't imagine sending a child there. The abundance of wealth is already bad at our W feeder, I can only imagine how much worse it would be there. Plus DCs are getting a fine education where they are, and I can't imagine that the private education is anywhere close to $30K+ each a year better especially if the peer group is a bunch of entitled rich kids. I'll save my money for better uses like college.

You'd be hard pressed to go private for under $40K these days.

[Anonymous]

Will someone explain what a big 3 is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will someone explain what a big 3 is?

Refers to the 'most prestigious' DC area private school (e.g. National Cathedral School, St. Albans, Sidwell, GDS -- no one agrees on what the big 3 actually are, but you get the gist). http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/99579.page

[Anonymous]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

A social climber is someone who is looking to advance themselves socially in the DC scene. The moms I'm referring to typically have money and spend much of their free time going to galas, events, parties, etc. while their children are home with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

A social climber is someone who is looking to advance themselves socially in the DC scene. The moms I'm referring to typically have money and spend much of their free time going to galas, events, parties, etc. while their children are home with the nanny.

There are also the social climbers who are actively parenting their children and not relying (much) on nannies but who like to cultivate relationships with (and encourage their children to cultivate relationships with the children of) other parents who are "connected" in some desirable way or who run in certain circles, etc.

[Anonymous]

I know 2 families in this case - NC and St Albans. Both had the same reason: money. The NC one went to Yale, got a great job and was able to get a good FA - about 70% off. But it was still expensive for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

A social climber is someone who is looking to advance themselves socially in the DC scene. The moms I'm referring to typically have money and spend much of their free time going to galas, events, parties, etc. while their children are home with the nanny.

There are also the social climbers who are actively parenting their children and not relying (much) on nannies but who like to cultivate relationships with (and encourage their children to cultivate relationships with the children of) other parents who are "connected" in some desirable way or who run in certain circles, etc.

I have to tell you, there's an event virtually every other week at my child's private. And they are all after 6pm. Which means for parents that are attending and "cultivating relationships," nannies or babysitters are watching their kids. I'd rather spend that time with my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus 1. I went to to an elite private school in MD, although not big 3. My parents were social climbers. I am not interested in social climbing and prefer public school for the SES diversity, lack of financial stress, and overall experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me as well and like one of the PPs, there are a bunch of Big 3 parents at our school as well. Part of it is that the costs are that much higher, but part of it is that we know what the benefits are -- and aren't.

+1

There is also much more of a 'culture of celebrity' than there used to be, and a lot of us don't want our kids (or ourselves!) in that environment. We live in MoCo and one thing I really missed as a kid was going to our neighborhood school.

This is an interesting point -- regarding the backdrop: I've noticed at my child's "elite" private preschool there are many social climbers who seem just as vested in what the school can do for them (from a social/networking standpoint) as they are in what the school is doing for their child's development. Luckily the school is excellent in terms of teaching and nurturing the kid's in a developmentally appropriate way, which was important for these crucial first 5 years. But these are the same folks that will be going on to the Big 3 privates. These Big 3s have drastically changed since we were growing up, like a PP said. And SO much is focused on soliciting donations.

This is 100% why we are not going private.
- big 3 grad

What is a social climber and how does it impact the student experience? We're considering private for HS.

A social climber is someone who is looking to advance themselves socially in the DC scene. The moms I'm referring to typically have money and spend much of their free time going to galas, events, parties, etc. while their children are home with the nanny.

There are also the social climbers who are actively parenting their children and not relying (much) on nannies but who like to cultivate relationships with (and encourage their children to cultivate relationships with the children of) other parents who are "connected" in some desirable way or who run in certain circles, etc.

I have to tell you, there's an event virtually every other week at my child's private. And they are all after 6pm. Which means for parents that are attending and "cultivating relationships," nannies or babysitters are watching their kids. I'd rather spend that time with my child.

Are parents expected to go to these events and, if so, will it be awkward for our child if we opt out? We're looking at Sidwell and National Cathedral for high school.

[Anonymous]

OP, your "friend" sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't see Sidwell, Maret, St. Albans, Landon, Georgetown Day, Georgetown Prep, Potomac in the top 50.

Here's a quote from Jay Mathews explanation of the methodology used which applies to the two big 3 schools you listed. "The Challenge Index is designed to identify schools that have done the best job in persuading average students to take college-level courses and tests. It does not work with schools that have no, or almost no, average students." I believe he uses average SAT scores to determine which schools not to include.

Different poster. I've followed Mathews' Index for years now, and even quizzed him about how it works on the WaPo comments section. Here's what he does ....

Mathews excludes selective public schools from the AP-index list where their SAT average is higher than the highest "regular" public school SAT in his sample. I think his SAT cutoff is something like 1362 this year. He says he excludes those high-SAT selective public schools because they do not have many average students, so the AP-index doesn't really mean much for them because the AP-index calculation is really aimed at challenging average students. But for some odd reason, Mathews leaves private schools (at least those that will give him AP data) in the AP-index list, even if they are selective private schools with SAT averages far higher than his 1362 cutoff. Mathews says he leaves these private schools on the AP-index list "so parents can compare" or something like that. But that explanation doesn't make much sense in light of his explanation for why he's pulling selective public schools off the list.

After having looked at his results for several years, and having traded messages with him, I think I know why he does it this way. Mathew really cherishes the TJ magnet, and he really likes taking shots at private schools. That's just a bias he carries as a reporter. He's written countless articles extolling the virtues of TJ, and countless more articles criticizing private schools. Mathews doesn't want TJ having a poor nationwide result on the AP-index list (which it would if he included TJ on the normal list), and he probably knows the TJ community would come after him with pitchforks if TJ fared poorly. So Mathews created his "public elites" list to remove the selective public schools like TJ from the scoring model. But Mathews also wants to crap on private schools, so he continues to list them "for comparison's sake" alongside the regular public schools, even though they do not fit into his self-professed methodology because they do not have enough average students.

I've challenged him to use the same SAT cutoff for both selective public and private schools, but he's refused.

I thought that Jay Matthews own kids went to private school - GDS or an equivalent. Why would he be anti- privates. I thought the privates are not on his list because they often refuse to share their data and are pretty secretive about it.