Why Do/Did Your 11-yo Boy Overeat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eating out 2-3 nights a week is a lot. We'd be less healthy as a family if we did this also.

When we eat out, we limit the kids to ordering just an entree. No appetizers. Then we don't always allow drinks (other than water) or dessert. If we do allow one, they can choose between a drink (soda) OR dessert. Not both. We've done this forever, so it's not an issue. (Their dad and i also never order appetizers or dessert or soda. Though we do order wine with dinner, usually.) But that said, for their entree, they can order whatever they want. And our son started ordering from the adult menu a couple years before he aged out of the option.

I would also limit snack choices. For that you have to do it across the board, for the whole family. Only stock healthy snacks, and limit how much people can eat. (ie, sometimes i tell them it's too close to dinner time for any more snacking. Often if I sense the kids are having a hard time waiting for dinner, I serve carrots or orange peppers as a snack.)

But I would not ever limit how much they can eat of the food served at a meal. I do insist that they eat all of their salad and/or vegetables before getting a second helping of whatever they want seconds of, but I don't tell them when they've had enough. They need to decide that.

It's sort of hilarious that you don't see how controlling you're being.

oh, I do see it. But I also see that it seems to be working out. Controlling on the ordering at the restaurant is justified as long as we're paying for it. We give ourselves the same restrictions and it's about what we can afford.

I'm not as controlling as my own mom was, so I do fight it. But I also see our kids now have better eating habits than most of their peers, as they get into making more of their own choices. Sugar consumption is something parents absolutely have to control. If you have a lot of sugar, you want more sugar. If you have little sugar, things with sugar taste sweeter. With both sugar and salt, your tastes adapt based on what you're exposed to. I think parents who don't control their kids sugar and junk food consumption are doing them a huge disservice. I think young children are calibrating their taste buds and food preferences, and we owe it to them to give them an appropriate scale.

My mom limited sugar so much that we went overboard when we DID get sugar. I'm trying to walk that line, and be just casual enough about sugar that they learn to moderate. It seems to be working, so I'm optimistic.

That said, I do tend to be too controlling about things in general. I'm working on it! But bringing kids up to eat healthfully is an important part of the job of parenting. And it takes some effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limiting food leads to obsession with it. Bottom line.

i understand that. my question is what else?

Adolescence.

An 11 year old boy is storing up for his growth spurt. Usually you see a jump in appetite before you start seeing the other symptoms.

Are you sure he's not eating a typical amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty (e.g. about twice what a typical adult would eat)?

There is no other "else." leave him alone and let him eat when he wants to. Teach him WHAT to eat, and how to eat in proportion to his activity level. THAT's IT.

but he is also "storing up for his growth spurt" so how do you proportion that level?

You don't. You trust that his body knows best (how would you feel if someone else overruled your own biological signals?) and then you back off! Don't make your own diet insecurities his.

well then there's no point to teach him how to eat in proportion to his activity level because the body knows best.