Why Do/Did Your 11-yo Boy Overeat?

[Anonymous]

We are struggling with this right now. My 11 year-old is very active, but also overweight and food obsessed. We were at a Fourth of July party last night and I watched him eat an obscene amount of food. My husband finally went over and said "OK, its time to stop eating, you are going to make yourself sick". This was after a huge 1/2 pound cheese burger, pile of chips, fruit, several brownies, cookies, popcorn, soda...DS said "OK" and then about 30 minutes later he grabbed a huge handful of popcorn and another brownie. DH spoke with him again and he said "oh, I forgot" I grew up overweight with a mother who always restricted and I just got fatter and fatter. I found ways to eat despite her restricting (at friend's houses, used my babysitting money to buy snacks, etc.). I am watching my own 11 year-old now and it is scary and heart breaking and I worry for him. DH wants to buy a scale which I am totally against. He loves sports and is active, but at this point it is no longer enough to cancel out what he is eating. We keep healthy foods in the house but he is over at friend's houses a lot so I know he is gorging himself over there. He is leaving for 3 weeks of overnight camp in a couple weeks so I know he will go nuts there as well. It is just really hard. I can relate to you OP and I know it is hard having been the 11 year-old food obsessed kid myself. Sadly, the obsession never really goes away. I am close to a healthy weight now in my 40's, but it has taken years to get here and every day is a struggle.

[Anonymous]

I think heavy exercise to shrink the stomach and curb the appetite might help. I had similar issues as a kid. Maybe swimming?

[Anonymous]

Have any of you talked to pediatricians or nurtritionists about what to do? That would probably be the best place to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 lbs in 9 mo is appropriate weight gain? on what planet?

+1

Boys in puberty?

Also depends on the height they've grown during that time as well as what weight they started from (underweight to begin with or typical weight to begin with). It is a ratio.

[Anonymous]

worms? usually he wouldn't be overweight then though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think heavy exercise to shrink the stomach and curb the appetite might help. I had similar issues as a kid. Maybe swimming?

Swimming made me SO hungry when I was younger, same with all my friends who swam. Plus swimmers generally eat a ton.

[Anonymous]

Does he ever get off of his ass after school or in the summer and hit the playground for basketball or whatever sport is being played? No excuses about "too hot". He needs to be moving or else he will be as big as a truck.

[Anonymous]

eating out 2-3 nights a week is a lot. We'd be less healthy as a family if we did this also.

When we eat out, we limit the kids to ordering just an entree. No appetizers. Then we don't always allow drinks (other than water) or dessert. If we do allow one, they can choose between a drink (soda) OR dessert. Not both. We've done this forever, so it's not an issue. (Their dad and i also never order appetizers or dessert or soda. Though we do order wine with dinner, usually.) But that said, for their entree, they can order whatever they want. And our son started ordering from the adult menu a couple years before he aged out of the option.

I would also limit snack choices. For that you have to do it across the board, for the whole family. Only stock healthy snacks, and limit how much people can eat. (ie, sometimes i tell them it's too close to dinner time for any more snacking. Often if I sense the kids are having a hard time waiting for dinner, I serve carrots or orange peppers as a snack.)

But I would not ever limit how much they can eat of the food served at a meal. I do insist that they eat all of their salad and/or vegetables before getting a second helping of whatever they want seconds of, but I don't tell them when they've had enough. They need to decide that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limiting food leads to obsession with it. Bottom line.

i understand that. my question is what else?

Adolescence.

An 11 year old boy is storing up for his growth spurt. Usually you see a jump in appetite before you start seeing the other symptoms.

Are you sure he's not eating a typical amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty (e.g. about twice what a typical adult would eat)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 lbs in 9 mo is appropriate weight gain? on what planet?

+1

Boys in puberty?

Also depends on the height they've grown during that time as well as what weight they started from (underweight to begin with or typical weight to begin with). It is a ratio.

Yes and no, usually kids put on weight before the growth spurt, so adding 20 lbs without a lot of height, wouldn't be alarming at 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eating out 2-3 nights a week is a lot. We'd be less healthy as a family if we did this also.

When we eat out, we limit the kids to ordering just an entree. No appetizers. Then we don't always allow drinks (other than water) or dessert. If we do allow one, they can choose between a drink (soda) OR dessert. Not both. We've done this forever, so it's not an issue. (Their dad and i also never order appetizers or dessert or soda. Though we do order wine with dinner, usually.) But that said, for their entree, they can order whatever they want. And our son started ordering from the adult menu a couple years before he aged out of the option.

I would also limit snack choices. For that you have to do it across the board, for the whole family. Only stock healthy snacks, and limit how much people can eat. (ie, sometimes i tell them it's too close to dinner time for any more snacking. Often if I sense the kids are having a hard time waiting for dinner, I serve carrots or orange peppers as a snack.)

But I would not ever limit how much they can eat of the food served at a meal. I do insist that they eat all of their salad and/or vegetables before getting a second helping of whatever they want seconds of, but I don't tell them when they've had enough. They need to decide that.

It's sort of hilarious that you don't see how controlling you're being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also how active is he?

not sure how this is relevant. he's not hnugry from doing a ton of exercise, if that's what you're implying.

It means if he's active he will need more calories to fuel the activity, and if he's active he will burn off the excess so he will likely not become overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limiting food leads to obsession with it. Bottom line.

i understand that. my question is what else?

Adolescence.

An 11 year old boy is storing up for his growth spurt. Usually you see a jump in appetite before you start seeing the other symptoms.

Are you sure he's not eating a typical amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty (e.g. about twice what a typical adult would eat)?

There is no other "else." leave him alone and let him eat when he wants to. Teach him WHAT to eat, and how to eat in proportion to his activity level. THAT's IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limiting food leads to obsession with it. Bottom line.

i understand that. my question is what else?

Adolescence.

An 11 year old boy is storing up for his growth spurt. Usually you see a jump in appetite before you start seeing the other symptoms.

Are you sure he's not eating a typical amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty (e.g. about twice what a typical adult would eat)?

There is no other "else." leave him alone and let him eat when he wants to. Teach him WHAT to eat, and how to eat in proportion to his activity level. THAT's IT.

but he is also "storing up for his growth spurt" so how do you proportion that level?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limiting food leads to obsession with it. Bottom line.

i understand that. my question is what else?

Adolescence.

An 11 year old boy is storing up for his growth spurt. Usually you see a jump in appetite before you start seeing the other symptoms.

Are you sure he's not eating a typical amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty (e.g. about twice what a typical adult would eat)?

There is no other "else." leave him alone and let him eat when he wants to. Teach him WHAT to eat, and how to eat in proportion to his activity level. THAT's IT.

but he is also "storing up for his growth spurt" so how do you proportion that level?

You don't. You trust that his body knows best (how would you feel if someone else overruled your own biological signals?) and then you back off! Don't make your own diet insecurities his.