Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Because women want to be married to men with good careers and make good money. Even if they have their own money they still want this. Women have the power to choose men who would be happy to be more involved at home. There are actually a lot of these men around. Usually they are looked over on the dating market because they aren't go getters with prestigious jobs. It's really VERY simple."

Yeah, and this obsession with marrying men who make a lot of money and enable you to stay at home (because THAT'S HOW IT IS!) is what I have issues with.

I don't think this is quite right. I would say that both women who want to work and women who want to stay home are obsessed with marrying men who make a lot of money. that's what my 25 years in corporate law/corporate America tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

You have to be trolling if you can't understand how you can support someone's politics without wanting to make that person's life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THIS! Such a capitalist notion. We all must be producers and grow the economy. Open your eyes.

It's not all about capitalism. It's about contributing to society in various ways. I think men should contribute more to "caring" roles--women shouldn't be defaulted into it, it should be everyone's responsibility.

So you acknowledge that homemaking and cari g for a family IS a form if contributing to society. Good. Women AND men who want to take on caring roles should do so. End of discussion. Live and let live. You make your choices and I'll make mine.

How does pointing out that the choices you make come with the downside of modeling certain roles and values for women that I happen to disagree with mean that I'm not espousing "live and let live"? You are welcome to live anyway you wish to, regardless of what I think.

[Anonymous]

I'm not. I don't care, at all, how other people live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because women want to be married to men with good careers and make good money. Even if they have their own money they still want this. Women have the power to choose men who would be happy to be more involved at home. There are actually a lot of these men around. Usually they are looked over on the dating market because they aren't go getters with prestigious jobs. It's really VERY simple."

Yeah, and this obsession with marrying men who make a lot of money and enable you to stay at home (because THAT'S HOW IT IS!) is what I have issues with.

I don't think this is quite right. I would say that both women who want to work and women who want to stay home are obsessed with marrying men who make a lot of money. that's what my 25 years in corporate law/corporate America tell me.

I wanted my husband to be a responsible adult capable of supporting himself financially – the same he expected from me – but making "a lot of money" was low down on my list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

OMG. You are a twit. I did not vote for HRC because she has a vagina. Did you really? Because your assumption that other people did is more revealing of your own beliefs in this regard, not mine. I voted for her because I support the kinds of policies she supports and because the alternative wad the kind of bumbling idiot who will get us into war. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that she would have been the first female president. You sound like a f***ing seventh grader. Did you vote for Obama because he was the first black president too? How simple are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

You have to be trolling if you can't understand how you can support someone's politics without wanting to make that person's life choices.

Then you must be trolling if you can't see the irony or admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Interesting comments. Most of the SAHMs I know here in the DC area became parents later in life and already had successful careers - and made big financial contributions to the family - before taking time off of work to spend more time with their children. And many plan to go back to work in some capacity.

Very true. Surprised how many lawyer, doctor, mba moms opted to be SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

You have to be trolling if you can't understand how you can support someone's politics without wanting to make that person's life choices.

Then you must be trolling if you can't see the irony or admit it.

There isn't anything ironic about voting for someone without modeling your life after the person unless you don't understand the meaning of the word irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

OMG. You are a twit. I did not vote for HRC because she has a vagina. Did you really? Because your assumption that other people did is more revealing of your own beliefs in this regard, not mine. I voted for her because I support the kinds of policies she supports and because the alternative wad the kind of bumbling idiot who will get us into war. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that she would have been the first female president. You sound like a f***ing seventh grader. Did you vote for Obama because he was the first black president too? How simple are you?

Don't be disingenuous. Plenty of people voted for each candidate you name for exactly those reasons and have not been shy about exhorting others to do so, and congratulate themselves for having done so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because women want to be married to men with good careers and make good money. Even if they have their own money they still want this. Women have the power to choose men who would be happy to be more involved at home. There are actually a lot of these men around. Usually they are looked over on the dating market because they aren't go getters with prestigious jobs. It's really VERY simple."

Yeah, and this obsession with marrying men who make a lot of money and enable you to stay at home (because THAT'S HOW IT IS!) is what I have issues with.

I don't think this is quite right. I would say that both women who want to work and women who want to stay home are obsessed with marrying men who make a lot of money. that's what my 25 years in corporate law/corporate America tell me.

How is this different from what the PP said? All else being equal, women want a husband who can provide for them just in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because women want to be married to men with good careers and make good money. Even if they have their own money they still want this. Women have the power to choose men who would be happy to be more involved at home. There are actually a lot of these men around. Usually they are looked over on the dating market because they aren't go getters with prestigious jobs. It's really VERY simple."

Yeah, and this obsession with marrying men who make a lot of money and enable you to stay at home (because THAT'S HOW IT IS!) is what I have issues with.

I don't think this is quite right. I would say that both women who want to work and women who want to stay home are obsessed with marrying men who make a lot of money. that's what my 25 years in corporate law/corporate America tell me.

I wanted my husband to be a responsible adult capable of supporting himself financially – the same he expected from me – but making "a lot of money" was low down on my list.

+1 All these comments about how women behave in corporate America and Big Law make me glad I don't work in those sectors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

OMG. You are a twit. I did not vote for HRC because she has a vagina. Did you really? Because your assumption that other people did is more revealing of your own beliefs in this regard, not mine. I voted for her because I support the kinds of policies she supports and because the alternative wad the kind of bumbling idiot who will get us into war. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that she would have been the first female president. You sound like a f***ing seventh grader. Did you vote for Obama because he was the first black president too? How simple are you?

Don't be disingenuous. Plenty of people voted for each candidate you name for exactly those reasons and have not been shy about exhorting others to do so, and congratulate themselves for having done so.

Well they're idiots then, clearly. It's the same as voting for GW Bush because you'd like to have a beer with him. It's stupid. No woman I respect pushed others to vote for Hillary because she was the only one in the race with a vagina. You vote for the person who you think will do the best job (and in this case, HRC was the clear winner for anyone with half a brain).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Interesting comments. Most of the SAHMs I know here in the DC area became parents later in life and already had successful careers - and made big financial contributions to the family - before taking time off of work to spend more time with their children. And many plan to go back to work in some capacity.

Very true. Surprised how many lawyer, doctor, mba moms opted to be SAHMs.

But this is the thing. How many men who used to be a lawyer, doctor, MBA, PhD, etc. opt out of their career "for the benefit of their children." When women do it, it's seen as positively contributing and sacrificing their career for their families. When men do it, it's considered a waste of education, money, and resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This last paragraph is 100% how I feel.

Both of you are simpletons then. You *really* can't understand that a woman might agree with and respect Hilary's politics and yet not want to live out her choices on a day to day basis? Talk about scoffing in disbelief. Wow.

Of course you can't see it or you deliberately choose not to. You can't admit that it's ironic for a woman who does nothing professionally - and based on this thread devalues women who do - to go on and on about how amazing it is for a woman to be considered for the most respected professional position in the country?

My favorite is the stay at home moms who push and push their daughters academically (because they have nothing left to do… Live vicariously since life basically ends for them when they push the baby out) yet do nothing using their own academic background, and set no personal professional example. Then they wonder why their daughters dont excel - and end up encouraging "the man is the plan" - and the cycle begins again. 1950s here we come!

OMG. You are a twit. I did not vote for HRC because she has a vagina. Did you really? Because your assumption that other people did is more revealing of your own beliefs in this regard, not mine. I voted for her because I support the kinds of policies she supports and because the alternative wad the kind of bumbling idiot who will get us into war. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that she would have been the first female president. You sound like a f***ing seventh grader. Did you vote for Obama because he was the first black president too? How simple are you?

Are you sound ridiculously defensive - but that's fair enough. I'm talking more about the SAHMs who were like "our first woman president! So proud to take my daughters to vote for her!"