Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.

It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.

If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.

Larla works full time, so maybe she goes to school part time? Or maybe she worked a couple years before starting college? Regardless, her godmother believed that Larla was on the right track and wanted to give her a head start in life.

Op again here.

After high school, I took a gap year (which became a gap 18 months) to work and earn money to pay for college. My parents are not able to help with college payments so that's why I work my way to my degree.

And this is how much of the middle class gets a college degree today, if they want to avoid or minimize crippling loans.

OP, you need legal advice fast. If you let Mary stay there rent free, she may gain rights to the house, depending on the state. You could give her a six month or year long lease, to ease her transition, but get some legal agreement in place asap. Or ask her to move out immediately. If she's got $100,000, she won't be out on the street.

[Anonymous]

Your Godmother acted very foolishly, OP, by driving a wedge between you and her daughter and making this inheritance really hard to accept for the daughter, since there is a history of you taking her place. That's a terribly cruel way to interact with one's child!

If you are young, intelligent and healthy in mind and body, OP, you may not realize how frail other people can be, and how unable they are to take responsibility for themselves. That doesn't make then bad persons. In the past, mental illnesses were not diagnosed or treated as well as they are today, and what your Godmother saw as laziness on her daughter's part is perhaps actually something she can't help, like depression or severe ADHD or whatever. Your Godmother may also have had issues herself to treat her daughter this way.

Anyway, I would advise you to be very patient and not move in immediately. The daughter needs time to process this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone here feel so bad for Mary. She needs to grow up and live her life. If Mary were a 50 yr old man living with his mom, you would all be saying to kick him out. From what has been posted, it seems like Mary is perfectly capable of being a functional adult but just chooses not to.

I don't feel bad for Mary so much. It is just that this is just such an unusual scenario. When the facts are so different from the usual, I think it is a good idea to get legal advice, just to be safe. That is what I'd suggest to Mary and Roy.

OP still hasn't really explained how it happened that Thelma made the decision to leave her family home to Larla, a niece/goddaughter, over the children she gave birth to. Her family home which, btw, is worth four times the amount she left for her own children.

This is not at all a typical inheritance situation. i wonder if there are any other nieces and nephews and if they inherited anything. It wouldn't occur to me to leave anything at all to my nieces and nephews with living parents, unless maybe one moved in with me in my old age and was my caretaker.

Larla has not mentioned doing any care taking for her aunt, so I'm interested to know why Thelma left more to her niece than to both her children combined. OP, could you give any more information about your aunt's reasons for leaving you such a large inheritance?

[Anonymous]

I still don't get why she left Larla the house.

[Anonymous]

OP, could you have a family meeting and discuss these options? This would give you a place to explain to Mary (and Roy, and any other family that cares) that you have pressing financial needs and a difficult living situation. Explain that you want to sell the house to get money for school and ideally an apartment for yourself. Maybe Roy and Mary would offer to buy you out if Mary wants to stay in the house or if it has sentimental value to them. Maybe other family members could pressure Mary/Roy to accept Thelma's will and move on (literally in Mary's case, figuratively in Roy's).

Do this before you try lawyers or a legal eviction, because it will be faster and less painful to sell the house with Mary's cooperation than without it.

[Anonymous]

Consult and attorney and sell the house or this is going to be hanging over your head forever. Use the money for your education and save the rest. Buy something you can afford when you know where you want to live based on your career. You'll be starting out without educational debt and with a downpayment on a home. That's wonderful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone here feel so bad for Mary. She needs to grow up and live her life. If Mary were a 50 yr old man living with his mom, you would all be saying to kick him out. From what has been posted, it seems like Mary is perfectly capable of being a functional adult but just chooses not to.

I don't feel bad for Mary so much. It is just that this is just such an unusual scenario. When the facts are so different from the usual, I think it is a good idea to get legal advice, just to be safe. That is what I'd suggest to Mary and Roy.

OP still hasn't really explained how it happened that Thelma made the decision to leave her family home to Larla, a niece/goddaughter, over the children she gave birth to. Her family home which, btw, is worth four times the amount she left for her own children.

This is not at all a typical inheritance situation. i wonder if there are any other nieces and nephews and if they inherited anything. It wouldn't occur to me to leave anything at all to my nieces and nephews with living parents, unless maybe one moved in with me in my old age and was my caretaker.

Larla has not mentioned doing any care taking for her aunt, so I'm interested to know why Thelma left more to her niece than to both her children combined. OP, could you give any more information about your aunt's reasons for leaving you such a large inheritance?

How on earth is OP supposed to know that? Do you think Thelma spelled it out in the will?

[Anonymous]

I suspect there is more to Mary's story than meets the eye. Before you consider evicting her, please find out if she has any type of mental illness that may prevent her from holding down a job. At some point we have to try and help people who are unable to help themselves. Just saying not my problem to a relative who may be incapacitated is cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone here feel so bad for Mary. She needs to grow up and live her life. If Mary were a 50 yr old man living with his mom, you would all be saying to kick him out. From what has been posted, it seems like Mary is perfectly capable of being a functional adult but just chooses not to.

I don't feel bad for Mary so much. It is just that this is just such an unusual scenario. When the facts are so different from the usual, I think it is a good idea to get legal advice, just to be safe. That is what I'd suggest to Mary and Roy.

OP still hasn't really explained how it happened that Thelma made the decision to leave her family home to Larla, a niece/goddaughter, over the children she gave birth to. Her family home which, btw, is worth four times the amount she left for her own children.

This is not at all a typical inheritance situation. i wonder if there are any other nieces and nephews and if they inherited anything. It wouldn't occur to me to leave anything at all to my nieces and nephews with living parents, unless maybe one moved in with me in my old age and was my caretaker.

Larla has not mentioned doing any care taking for her aunt, so I'm interested to know why Thelma left more to her niece than to both her children combined. OP, could you give any more information about your aunt's reasons for leaving you such a large inheritance?

How on earth is OP supposed to know that? Do you think Thelma spelled it out in the will?

It's extremely unlikely that she has zero idea where it came from.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like Larla is the beneficiary of some very unhealthy family dynamics. If she's posted everything here truthfully, it sounds like the godmother was just trying to make a point to her children by giving the house to somebody else -- anyone else. Larla didn't really do anything to deserve it; she's just the person who Thelma is using to hurt her children from beyond the grave.

The ethical thing to do here would be to give the house to Mary and Roy. Or sell it, and take a modest amount proportional to what Larla honestly feels like her relationship to her godmother warrants, and give the rest to Mary and Roy equally. Say, take $50-100k and give Mary and Roy $150k each.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but I think Thelma may have seen some of herself in Larla - she's got a great work ethic, and maybe Thelma wanted to offer her a hand up in the world. Thelma sounds like she gave everything she could to help out her daughter Mary succeed, yet Mary still flounders. So now Mary will finally have to sink or swim. 100K should support her until she can get on her feet. Thelma probably felt Roy is doing just fine and the extra money or house wouldn't matter so much to him at this point in his life.

The reason Larla should she a lawyer is because she needs to protect herself as she accepts this house. Mary is still a tenant and has rights as a tenant. Larla doesn't want to do anything unwittingly that would allow Mary to stay longer if she wants her out. Plus it's also possible that one or both of the siblings can still challenge the will.

The reason people feel for Mary is that she just recently lost her mother, and now she's being kicked out of her home, too. Just one of those alone is tough enough to get through.

Larla also needs to be carefully consider if this house will be too expensive for her to maintain at this point in her life, as it can be a real setback to her financially if she doesn't have sufficient savings and income.

[Anonymous]

Op here,
you all keep saying that I have not warranted this gift. my godmother was not sick when she died but I did love her very much and I still do. my godmother has always made snide remark's about her daughter not wanting to work. My godmother has always made snide remark's about her daughter not wanting to work. When my godmother's husband died the daughter expected that she would be set for life but she was not and she would in fact have to get a job she didn't like that idea very much and is basically rejected it her whole life . Yes she often got degrees and went to work but then realize that she didn't like having to get up every day and go to wood job she wanted to be set for life without having to work for it.

I'm not judging the situation I'm just stating it the way it was I will call when I was 15 my cousin went away and had a job and then she realized that she wanted to be the manager she want to be the boss in charge of the company even though she only had one year of experience. Perhaps she does have some type of mental problem and I'm perfectly willing to work with her but I don't want to be forced to live with her and I feel like you'll be just as bad to sell the house out from under her.

I feel like the only way my cousin will be satisfied is if I just relinquish the rights to the house and let her stay and give her the deed to the house.

Also it's not like my godmother didn't know me as a person and didn't see me on a nearly weekly basis and I'm just some random person to her we had a very strong very good relationship ever since I was a very young child. I'm guessing that's why my parents made her my godmother. so I know all of you think that I am not deserving of her inheritance unless I kept her word and with her companion through some devastating disease or something until her death the reality is that's not the case but we had a very good relationship and I love her very much. so I know all of you think that I am not deserving of her inheritance unless I kept her word and with her companion through some devastating disease or something until her death the reality is that's not the case but we had a very good relationship and I love her very much

[Anonymous]

Hire an attorney and move the woman out of YOUR HOUSE. Its yours and you should not feel bad for a 50 year old who never lived outside the nest.

[Anonymous]

I didn't mean to double paste that I thought it had deleted it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.

It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.

If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.

Larla works full time, so maybe she goes to school part time? Or maybe she worked a couple years before starting college? Regardless, her godmother believed that Larla was on the right track and wanted to give her a head start in life.

Op again here.

After high school, I took a gap year (which became a gap 18 months) to work and earn money to pay for college. My parents are not able to help with college payments so that's why I work my way to my degree.

And this is how much of the middle class gets a college degree today, if they want to avoid or minimize crippling loans.

OP, you need legal advice fast. If you let Mary stay there rent free, she may gain rights to the house, depending on the state. You could give her a six month or year long lease, to ease her transition, but get some legal agreement in place asap. Or ask her to move out immediately. If she's got $100,000, she won't be out on the street.

I suspect Mary already has some rights to the use of the house, having lived there most of her life.