Baby boomers so selfish, what is the point of family anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who finds it ironic when Xers complain that Boomers are selfish because they won't do exactly what millennials want them to do?

Raise your own family, OP. No one owes you anything.

Fixed it for you. Now your statement is correct.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws are alcoholics who could not be bothered with anything taxing. They like to show up for social gatherings where people drink. I had cancer and they did not help my family at all. They did send a fruit basket at Christmas though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as hateful as mothers of this generation are toward their parents, I can see why so many stay away from their kids an grandkids. Why would anyone chose to put up with the abuse?

This was my thought! Read the threads here and so how selfish, nasty, and shrewish the adult kids are when it comes to their parents - and especially their parents around the grandkids - and it's no surprise they don't want to be around, even to help.

That's Xers for you whiny shrews that can't see their own faults as they complain about everyone else.

X1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is about your mother, not her entire generation.

FFS.

Absolutely!!

[Anonymous]

Your mother may not have a lot of years left. Do you really want her to spend them being your domestic labor? What were you thinking having all these kids - that you'll get free slave labor from your parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's representative of my parents. They are this type of selfish too.

Mine too. God forbid anything disrupt their routines. I stayed with my grandmother in the hospital and arranged care for my children because my mom couldn't be bothered to look after her own mother.

I have to agree with this. My mother has never been involved with her grandkids outside of the occasional lunch and family get togethers, but otoh, her own grandmother helped to raise us. Same story with my father. They just don't seem to be interested in being active grandparents, and that is their right. But it's al little annoying that they got so much help and support and area unwilling to pay it forward.

Now, my mother is reluctantly caring for her own mother in her old age, and none of her four brothers give them any kind of help, financially or otherwise. They have earned their millions, and they are traveling the world, ignoring their kids and grandkids and their own elderly mother, and are smug and proud of how they've been able to completely shirk any semblance of family responsibility. I cannot fathom being so selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? How about the fact that this is the generation that made money off the younger generations? Housing is 3xs what they paid. College tuition is ridiculous.

But they'll have a nice retirement. All that traveling and dining out...

College tuition is so expensive because somewhere along the way between the early 90s & early 2000s, millenials convinced themselves that every colleg student needs access to giant, state of the art rock climbing walls in order to be properly educated.

THAT is why college is so expensive. Baby boomers have very little to do with that.

Plus, aren't most baby boomers in their mid to late 70s by now, not early 60s?

If your mom is in her 60s then she was a teen/college student during the 70s. That was a very selfish and me me me time, similar to our fragile millennials. It is no wonder why she is selfish.

Explain to me exactly how millennials decisions effected education policy while they were merely school children and teenagers. Millennials were not voting or in the workplace in any meaningful way or number during the 90s or early 2000s. Those flashy educational expenses were status symbols for boomer parents. Sure, children may want the world if you offer it to them, but it's ultimately adults' job to establish limits. If you really think children were having this much influence--where the hell were the adults that were letting them! The worst you can accuse millennials of is now coming to expect what they've known all along, which, while unflattering, we all do to some extent.

College costs went up when the feds got into the lending process. Like always get Uncle Sam involved and prices go up.

[Anonymous]

PP here who complained about Boomers. I think that in the case of my own mother (and probably many Boomers), her own mother and grandmother were very involved in her adult life, in the rearing of her kids, in her marriage, so it's entirely possible that she didn't want to do that to her own children, and decided to step back and not be a forever helicopter parent.

At least that's what I tell myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's representative of my parents. They are this type of selfish too.

Mine too. God forbid anything disrupt their routines. I stayed with my grandmother in the hospital and arranged care for my children because my mom couldn't be bothered to look after her own mother.

I have to agree with this. My mother has never been involved with her grandkids outside of the occasional lunch and family get togethers, but otoh, her own grandmother helped to raise us. Same story with my father. They just don't seem to be interested in being active grandparents, and that is their right. But it's al little annoying that they got so much help and support and area unwilling to pay it forward.

Now, my mother is reluctantly caring for her own mother in her old age, and none of her four brothers give them any kind of help, financially or otherwise. They have earned their millions, and they are traveling the world, ignoring their kids and grandkids and their own elderly mother, and are smug and proud of how they've been able to completely shirk any semblance of family responsibility. I cannot fathom being so selfish.

Wow!! Such selfishness!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here who complained about Boomers. I think that in the case of my own mother (and probably many Boomers), her own mother and grandmother were very involved in her adult life, in the rearing of her kids, in her marriage, so it's entirely possible that she didn't want to do that to her own children, and decided to step back and not be a forever helicopter parent.

At least that's what I tell myself.

She might also have been warned constantly while growing up about the perils of being a housewife and caregiver by her own unhappy 50's or 60's mom and pushed to have a career yet also expected to have children who were well-adjusted and successful. For the first time in their lives, the older boomer women are trying to figure out what to do with the rest of their active years once the kids have left the nest. I see this in my 62 year old sister, while I am at the tail end of the boomers and have had a very different experience.

[Anonymous]

Funny how most of these complaints are about how MOM won't help. Dad usually gets a pass, in comparison.

You guys really have no idea the crap your moms dealt with and how they blazed the path for you. Whatever they did they got grief for it. Stop blaming older women and get off your ignorant-of-history asses and get some legislation passed so that this country has civilized family support like all the other developed countries.

My perspective is as a woman on the cusp of baby boomers/gen x.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny how most of these complaints are about how MOM won't help. Dad usually gets a pass, in comparison.

You guys really have no idea the crap your moms dealt with and how they blazed the path for you. Whatever they did they got grief for it. Stop blaming older women and get off your ignorant-of-history asses and get some legislation passed so that this country has civilized family support like all the other developed countries.

My perspective is as a woman on the cusp of baby boomers/gen x.

Being disappointed because your mother won't help you with her grandchild in an emergency AND working to get family support legislation passed aren't mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so aggravated at my mother. My husband is in the hospital from a car accident. We have two kids. Heaven forbid she change her freaking schedule and her perfect retirement routine. That would just be too anxiety provoking. She might even have to, gasp, drive 30 minutes here and back to help. So I'm lugging two young kids to the hospital, running out of food and cooking plain pasta. She can barely be bothered to text, "it's not serious, is it?"

She actually does care. But since she babysat last week for 8 hours she feels taken advantage of and doesn't want to come help. but also guilty now for not stepping up. She even said to me, "I don't want to come over because I have plans with my other granddaughter and she catches everything. I don't want to come to the hospital and risk getting sick." Lamest excuse ever. Just freaking tell me your too burned out from your little sitting job last week. I may not understand but at least you won't compound the situation by playing coy.

What is wrong with that generation? Seems like everyone I know who's over 60 has an attitude of "I did my work in life, I got my money, you're on your own". So selfish! I cannot imagine having a family member or friend in the hospital and not offering to help or bother calling.

Newsflash to you baby boomers, you might regret your attitude when you're old and alone.
Also, if you're not going to step up, at least call. don't text.

Newsflash to you. Your mother sucks. That's because she is a weak/lazy/whatever person, not because she is a baby boomer. I know it doesn't hurt as much if you can blame it on an entire generation but you're just fooling yourself. You didn't get the mother you deserved. Now stop blaming it on me and other people my age who had nothing to do with her behavior and start grieving.

[Anonymous]

Yup, they help out their daughters but the sons are shit out of luck.

A lot of DIL prefer that only their Mothers help with the babysitting etc. My Mom wanted to help but, her DIL seems to want her Mom ( not saying it doesn't make sense) but, you can't then turn around and say that the son's children are out of luck when they might not have been welcome in the first place.

To the Op:

Your mother may not have been able to give you the help you wanted but, at least she babysat your kids for eight hours. That isn't nothing. Sure, you can be disappointed but, your Mom doesn't sound like a bad person. Did you directly tell her you really need her help?

[Anonymous]

I never dumped my kids on my parents except maybe twice in their whole childhood . I don't get it . What's the big deal ? Kids can watch themselves when they are around ten. It's only like ten of the best years of your life.