Baby boomers so selfish, what is the point of family anyway

[Anonymous]

I don't think the whole baby-boomer generation is selfish, but one thing's for sure, there are sure some giant sanctimonous assholes on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

The bolded above is true, but OP's mom CAN help by staying home and looking after the kids, which is what OP wanted. Think again, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they're probably wondering where they went wrong, raising children who can't seem to cope with their own lives.

I do understand this is a special case, OP, and I'm very sorry to hear that your husband is in the hospital. But, I don't agree with the idea that grandparents should be responsible to help raise grandchildren like many people seem to. It's nice if it can happen, but shouldn't be an expectation. A retired parent has put in more than enough sacrifice time raising YOU TO 20/30/40.

I have never heard a boomer say anything this insightful. I have heard complaints that the next generation isn't raising kids correctly or disciplining their kids, but always with a tone that they are just willful, never with an introspective tone of "wonder what I could have done differently/could do now to change things."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are terrible, there should be a celebration when each one dies off

I've been following this thread with thoughtful reflection until I saw this. This was uncalled for and way out of bounds. Your boomer relatives may be awful, but it looks like you are already there with awful, so it's clearly not a generational thing in your family. It's just your family personality- which is awful.

[Anonymous]

I am younger baby boomer- more than willing to help out with my kid's needs at any time...and do. Most of my friends do as well. My friends who can't do it all are still in demanding jobs- the same ones we had when we were first raising all of you. Yes- we were expected to rise in our field, break glass ceiling barriers, bring home decent money and raise the kids all at the same time. So...you are all wrong about our level of commitment.

One thing I cannot stand is when someone takes an example that is pertinent to them and generalizes it to everything. It's not very intellectual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so aggravated at my mother. My husband is in the hospital from a car accident. We have two kids. Heaven forbid she change her freaking schedule and her perfect retirement routine. That would just be too anxiety provoking. She might even have to, gasp, drive 30 minutes here and back to help. So I'm lugging two young kids to the hospital, running out of food and cooking plain pasta. She can barely be bothered to text, "it's not serious, is it?"

She actually does care. But since she babysat last week for 8 hours she feels taken advantage of and doesn't want to come help. but also guilty now for not stepping up. She even said to me, "I don't want to come over because I have plans with my other granddaughter and she catches everything. I don't want to come to the hospital and risk getting sick." Lamest excuse ever. Just freaking tell me your too burned out from your little sitting job last week. I may not understand but at least you won't compound the situation by playing coy.

What is wrong with that generation? Seems like everyone I know who's over 60 has an attitude of "I did my work in life, I got my money, you're on your own". So selfish! I cannot imagine having a family member or friend in the hospital and not offering to help or bother calling.

Newsflash to you baby boomers, you might regret your attitude when you're old and alone.
Also, if you're not going to step up, at least call. don't text.

That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

Are you OP's mom? Did you miss the part where this is a freaking emergency? Sometimes, people need to lean on their family when there's an emergency and their family needs to get their heads out of their asses and help.

Not if it compromises their own health, no. In case of a "freaking emergency," OP should have a trusted babysitter (or 3) that she can call. And she should plan for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

The bolded above is true, but OP's mom CAN help by staying home and looking after the kids, which is what OP wanted. Think again, PP.

Why would she expose herself to whatever gross germs the kids already have? Kids are walking bags of germs. Think again.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, as hateful as mothers of this generation are toward their parents, I can see why so many stay away from their kids an grandkids. Why would anyone chose to put up with the abuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

The bolded above is true, but OP's mom CAN help by staying home and looking after the kids, which is what OP wanted. Think again, PP.

Why would she expose herself to whatever gross germs the kids already have? Kids are walking bags of germs. Think again.

Because it's an emergency and sometimes, people put themselves out for those they profess to love. In this case, it isn't as if OP wants to go to the mall and expects her mother to subject herself to Ebola. I don't understand why this is such a difficult concept. If OP's mother REALLY wanted to help, she'd find a way to do it. Maybe OP's child could stay at grandma's house while OP tends to her DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so aggravated at my mother. My husband is in the hospital from a car accident. We have two kids. Heaven forbid she change her freaking schedule and her perfect retirement routine. That would just be too anxiety provoking. She might even have to, gasp, drive 30 minutes here and back to help. So I'm lugging two young kids to the hospital, running out of food and cooking plain pasta. She can barely be bothered to text, "it's not serious, is it?"

She actually does care. But since she babysat last week for 8 hours she feels taken advantage of and doesn't want to come help. but also guilty now for not stepping up. She even said to me, "I don't want to come over because I have plans with my other granddaughter and she catches everything. I don't want to come to the hospital and risk getting sick." Lamest excuse ever. Just freaking tell me your too burned out from your little sitting job last week. I may not understand but at least you won't compound the situation by playing coy.

What is wrong with that generation? Seems like everyone I know who's over 60 has an attitude of "I did my work in life, I got my money, you're on your own". So selfish! I cannot imagine having a family member or friend in the hospital and not offering to help or bother calling.

Newsflash to you baby boomers, you might regret your attitude when you're old and alone.
Also, if you're not going to step up, at least call. don't text.

That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

Are you OP's mom? Did you miss the part where this is a freaking emergency? Sometimes, people need to lean on their family when there's an emergency and their family needs to get their heads out of their asses and help.

Not if it compromises their own health, no. In case of a "freaking emergency," OP should have a trusted babysitter (or 3) that she can call. And she should plan for that.

Does OP's mother have some kind of immunodeficiency that precludes her from interacting with people and going out in public? She has no problem being with her other grandchild, so how is she compromising her health by baby sitting OP's child? She wouldn't have to go to the hospital. Does it occur to you that it might be more of a comfort for the OP's child to be with the grandmother during this stressful time than with a "trusted" babysitter?

Good Lord, don't break your legs jumping off your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as hateful as mothers of this generation are toward their parents, I can see why so many stay away from their kids an grandkids. Why would anyone chose to put up with the abuse?

+1000 It is indeed a phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they're probably wondering where they went wrong, raising children who can't seem to cope with their own lives.

I do understand this is a special case, OP, and I'm very sorry to hear that your husband is in the hospital. But, I don't agree with the idea that grandparents should be responsible to help raise grandchildren like many people seem to. It's nice if it can happen, but shouldn't be an expectation. A retired parent has put in more than enough sacrifice time raising YOU TO 20/30/40.

There's definitely an element of selfishness in the baby boomer generation. My grandmother raised me when I was a kid so my momcould finish school. She supported my mom in so many ways, and honestly without her mom would have probably needs to drop out of college. I had a super close relationship with my grandmother which is something I'll always treasure.

Fast forward to my children: my mom could not even be bothered to spend one week helping after the birth of my child. To add insult to injury she minimizes all the work that goes into caring for a young child - because she never had to do it! Plus she always critiques my grandmother for not getting an education. In the months after the birth of my first baby i realized that the mother child bond this was never going to be an experience that we could share. Some people are too selfish - and sometimes that attitude is pervasive throughout an entire generation. My grandmother raised both of us but family values must have skipped a generation.

So what? If you want help, hire help. NO ONE owes you ANYTHING.

It's this attitude that is the problem, not generation. I am an immigrant and American families are weird to me. Overly indulgent to small children, obsessed with pointless activities to the point of missing meetings to sit on some irrelevant game or such, but then all of a sudden, you are 18 and "nobody owes you anything". People hoard millions of dollars do that they can spend 15k month living In a village for old people only etc. I don't get it and I don't want to.

[Anonymous]

My parents have dropped everything and drove 12 hours when we needed them.

It isn't the entire generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they're probably wondering where they went wrong, raising children who can't seem to cope with their own lives.

I do understand this is a special case, OP, and I'm very sorry to hear that your husband is in the hospital. But, I don't agree with the idea that grandparents should be responsible to help raise grandchildren like many people seem to. It's nice if it can happen, but shouldn't be an expectation. A retired parent has put in more than enough sacrifice time raising YOU TO 20/30/40.

There's definitely an element of selfishness in the baby boomer generation. My grandmother raised me when I was a kid so my momcould finish school. She supported my mom in so many ways, and honestly without her mom would have probably needs to drop out of college. I had a super close relationship with my grandmother which is something I'll always treasure.

Fast forward to my children: my mom could not even be bothered to spend one week helping after the birth of my child. To add insult to injury she minimizes all the work that goes into caring for a young child - because she never had to do it! Plus she always critiques my grandmother for not getting an education. In the months after the birth of my first baby i realized that the mother child bond this was never going to be an experience that we could share. Some people are too selfish - and sometimes that attitude is pervasive throughout an entire generation. My grandmother raised both of us but family values must have skipped a generation.

So what? If you want help, hire help. NO ONE owes you ANYTHING.

It's this attitude that is the problem, not generation. I am an immigrant and American families are weird to me. Overly indulgent to small children, obsessed with pointless activities to the point of missing meetings to sit on some irrelevant game or such, but then all of a sudden, you are 18 and "nobody owes you anything". People hoard millions of dollars do that they can spend 15k month living In a village for old people only etc. I don't get it and I don't want to.

+1 I agree, it is really sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so aggravated at my mother. My husband is in the hospital from a car accident. We have two kids. Heaven forbid she change her freaking schedule and her perfect retirement routine. That would just be too anxiety provoking. She might even have to, gasp, drive 30 minutes here and back to help. So I'm lugging two young kids to the hospital, running out of food and cooking plain pasta. She can barely be bothered to text, "it's not serious, is it?"

She actually does care. But since she babysat last week for 8 hours she feels taken advantage of and doesn't want to come help. but also guilty now for not stepping up. She even said to me, "I don't want to come over because I have plans with my other granddaughter and she catches everything. I don't want to come to the hospital and risk getting sick." Lamest excuse ever. Just freaking tell me your too burned out from your little sitting job last week. I may not understand but at least you won't compound the situation by playing coy.

What is wrong with that generation? Seems like everyone I know who's over 60 has an attitude of "I did my work in life, I got my money, you're on your own". So selfish! I cannot imagine having a family member or friend in the hospital and not offering to help or bother calling.

Newsflash to you baby boomers, you might regret your attitude when you're old and alone.
Also, if you're not going to step up, at least call. don't text.

That is a valid reason. Older people should not visit hospitals unless they have to, because they are more susceptible to communicable disease. Her not wanting to spread anything to other kids is valid too. You're being selfish by expecting help. Solve your own problem.

Are you OP's mom? Did you miss the part where this is a freaking emergency? Sometimes, people need to lean on their family when there's an emergency and their family needs to get their heads out of their asses and help.

Not if it compromises their own health, no. In case of a "freaking emergency," OP should have a trusted babysitter (or 3) that she can call. And she should plan for that.

Does OP's mother have some kind of immunodeficiency that precludes her from interacting with people and going out in public? She has no problem being with her other grandchild, so how is she compromising her health by baby sitting OP's child? She wouldn't have to go to the hospital. Does it occur to you that it might be more of a comfort for the OP's child to be with the grandmother during this stressful time than with a "trusted" babysitter?

Good Lord, don't break your legs jumping off your high horse.

Sure, but the grandmother probably doesn't want to be with a disgusting germ source, so OP needs to find another plan.