My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she aware that she is "different"?

Sometimes. She is aware that she does not speak Spanish like many of her friends. She also knows that she has different hair. Other than that, no.

Aren't latino's white?

Did anyone come to her birthday party?

NP. Yes, Zoe Saldana, Jimmy Smits, Rosario Dawson, Rosie Perez, and LaLa Anthony are white.

Pretty sure PP was being sarcastic

No they are not white. Some of these people listed have African heritage in their backgrounds. I only say this because I know two of the people listed.

[Anonymous]

No question - just a quick thanks for posting this. We're in a similar situation at an EOTP DCPS, and get some of the same reactions that you do. I think most people have good intentions, but some things said are sickeningly racist.

[Anonymous]

We mark DD as white and hispanic because both are true. It's funny (not ha-ha) that people look at that on the DCPS summary and complain about "demographics" since the school shows up as <10% white.

[Anonymous]

OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

OP here.

I never said I was holier than anyone. There was a lot of talk on the other thread about the experiences of children who are the only one of their race in their class, but few people spoke about the reality of those experiences. I thought it would be helpful for parents considering this possibility for their own families to have a place where they can ask whatever questions they may not be comfortable asking publicly.

I'm not naive. I'm just responding to the experiences that I/she/we actually have, rather than experiences that I/she/we might have in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?

This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.

Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.

I'm not going to name the school, sorry.

Not sure it's fair to complain about "young white women" teaching. My daughter is a very young, very white teacher in a DC school. She is a fantastic teacher who worked primarily with at-risk kids before she accepted a job in DC. The kids in her old school were mostly in school as a condition of their release from either juvenile or jail. That's where her heart is. While I'm sure there are benefits to having more diversity among teachers, at the end of the day it's the teaching that matters. My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude from a very well known university. She could be teaching anywhere. She has chosen to work with kids who need the most help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

Funny. I took her message exactly opposite. I think she came off as humble. Especially in the follow ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?

This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.

Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.

I'm not going to name the school, sorry.

Not sure it's fair to complain about "young white women" teaching. My daughter is a very young, very white teacher in a DC school. She is a fantastic teacher who worked primarily with at-risk kids before she accepted a job in DC. The kids in her old school were mostly in school as a condition of their release from either juvenile or jail. That's where her heart is. While I'm sure there are benefits to having more diversity among teachers, at the end of the day it's the teaching that matters. My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude from a very well known university. She could be teaching anywhere. She has chosen to work with kids who need the most help.

OP here.

My issue with the vast majority of our teachers being "young white women" is that I think it would be helpful for the students - particularly the boys - to have at least one teacher in their elementary school experience who looks like them - for the same reasons that people complain that DCPS isn't diverse enough (want good representative samples of population, think it's isolating to be the only one, etc.). I wish that we provided better incentives for young men (particularly young men of color) to teach. It's not the fault of the people in the profession that other people don't go into the profession.

What your daughter is doing is great. I hope you tell her how proud you are often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?

This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.

Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.

I'm not going to name the school, sorry.

Not sure it's fair to complain about "young white women" teaching. My daughter is a very young, very white teacher in a DC school. She is a fantastic teacher who worked primarily with at-risk kids before she accepted a job in DC. The kids in her old school were mostly in school as a condition of their release from either juvenile or jail. That's where her heart is. While I'm sure there are benefits to having more diversity among teachers, at the end of the day it's the teaching that matters. My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude from a very well known university. She could be teaching anywhere. She has chosen to work with kids who need the most help.

OP here again.

Also, for what it's worth, I made a similar career decision in that I chose to go into a profession serving at risk populations that will never be highly lucrative but is where my heart is. It is hard sometimes, and there are certainly days when I think of the many things I could have done instead of what I'm doing now, but overall, it's totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

Op have you read the book fortress of solitude? Part of the book involves the protagonists experience as one of the few white people at a majority black school. His experience sounded very isolating. Are you worried your daughter might exoerience that? Do you think you'd know if she were having trouble, esp as she gets older? I was an only child in a neighborhood with only 1 other child and I was very lonely. When we moved to a neighborhood with tons of kids I was so much happier. I liked school a lot in both places even though the former was very diverse and the latter not - both school experiences were great but the social experience was so much better when we moved. It wasn't about race just about one neighborhood having lots more families of young kids. But places with better performing schools tend to be where you find lots of kids.

[Anonymous]

You are in DC right?

What are house values in your areas? Is it mostly SFH or apartments?

We would be in a similar situation in NE DC. Our DD is white Latina and we are a higher SES than most attendees of our IB school. I don't worry about her fitting in because of color but other SES factors. Thanks for sharing your experience. I know one other family who sent her kids to be the only white kids but I haven't heard as much detail/analysis as your answers.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you are exceptional, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read the demographic thread, and there is a lot of concern about sending a white child to a school where it is likely that that child will be the only white child in their class/grade/school. What I didn't see on the other thread were posts from many people whose children had actually been the "only" in their class. I have done this, and I'm happy to answer questions about it, since there was concern.

What country do you live in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she aware that she is "different"?

Sometimes. She is aware that she does not speak Spanish like many of her friends. She also knows that she has different hair. Other than that, no.

Aren't latino's white?

Did anyone come to her birthday party?

NP. Yes, Zoe Saldana, Jimmy Smits, Rosario Dawson, Rosie Perez, and LaLa Anthony are white.

No they are not white. Some of these people listed have African heritage in their backgrounds. I only say this because I know two of the people listed.

Your sarcasm detector is broken.

[Anonymous]

I don't need to ask you anything, because I've lived your child's experience. I was the only white child in my class between 1st and 5th grade. From 1st to 3rd grade, it was no problem at all and I never really thought about it. In 4th and 5th grade, other girls began excluding me because I didn't speak Spanish and didn't have the same cultural heritage as them. Honestly, who knows, maybe kids will always find a reason to pick on each other at that age and it would not have mattered if there were other children of my race at my school - maybe kids just would have picked on me for something else. All that I know is that it wasn't the best of times, and it was good to move to a middle school where there was genuine diversity and all different types of kids.