eating forbidden ice cream after camp?

[Anonymous]

You mentioned your parents saving for college for you and that you're doing the same. Kids expenses are going to get a lot worse than camp ice creams, and your kids can't be made to feel guilty over every expense. Even if you cannot afford simple pleasures now, please don't get mad at your kids because they didn't say no to a kind offer. My kids are older but have paid for other kids sometimes, and might have said "you can pay me back next time" but would be fine if they weren't paid back. Maybe the other kid would have felt badly enjoying an ice cream when his friends did not have one, so kindly offered. I would be offended to receive a letter from a parent in this circumstance.

Im sorry that your life is hard and stressful now, I hope that things get better for you and that financial hardships don't affect your relationship with your children.

[Anonymous]

I wrote a long note to the parent of this other child, commending her son for being kind and thoughtful, but explaining that I am trying to teach my children the difference between a need and a want, and the difference between a quick treat now versus saving up for something big and special.

What is wrong with you, seriously? You have every right to tell your own children they can't have ice cream or accept money from other children for ice cream. But writing someone else's parent a letter like this is out of line. I would toss it in the trash, assume you were crazy, and expect you to manage your own kids and tell them to decline if my child offered to buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. The ignorance and privilege in these responses is so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed for all of you. "OP, you say you don't have an extra $30? You can solve that problem by magically saving an extra $30 that you don't have!" Ick.

I'm sorry OP. That situation sounds really frustrating. You've worked really hard to save for your kids and they seem to lack awareness of that. But they are just kids.

FWIW, I think this is a pretty common occurrence at camp, kids giving other kids money for whatever reason. Sometimes it gets paid back, sometimes it doesn't. I know you probably felt a burden to pay the other family back, but you really didn't/don't have to. My son has given kids money and sometimes they pay him back (and then they lend him money if he forgets) and sometimes they don't pay him back (then he learns to think carefully about lending and saying no). It's a small way for kids to experience consequences for their actions, good and bad.

Ditto. OP- you were totally right in your response. It's never too early to teach kids about choices and money.
My widowed mom did something similar to me when I was 6. It is one of my first memories and was very hard at the time and I didn't fully understand. With that and a couple other instances, I learned the value and appreciation of a dollar earlier than most of my peers.
You know what- I am a successful CFO now, and I still teach the same lessons to my children.
No, you don't have to indulge your kid with ice cream at camp. It is a good lesson that treats cost money and money doesn't grow on trees.
There are children across the world who have real problems, like not enough food daily and not a good safe loving home.
Teaching kids money issues and responsibility early produces responsible, resourceful kids.

[Anonymous]

Op, I grew up with a mom like you.
Only now am I starting to appreciate what she had done for me- severely limiting my junk food intake, setting healthy habits, giving me knowledge about nutrition.
At the time, I was so mad at her. We were not close and still aren't.
I am pretty generous with treats to my son.
I don't know whose way is right and whose is wrong. I wish you strength and closeness with your kids.

[Anonymous]

First of all, how much is the ice cream?! $12?! Must be those frozen yogurt places. Such a rip off.

I totally understand to save money. Really I do. And I totally understand how I do not want my kids to be eating so much sugar.

It's not the other kids fault or their parents that YOUR children decide to take the money others offer. It's teaching your kid to feel like they don't have to follow what other kids do. If they wear fancy sneakers and you can't afford it, teach your kids, it's not the price of the sneakers that are important, it's the responsible spending of money, especially if you don't have the money or do not want to spend money the way others do. Teach them to choose 'cheaper' options so they don't fee entirely left out and be comfortable with their choices, but don't deny them entirely.

[Anonymous]

OP - why weren't you honest with your kids in the beginning and just say you can't afford for them to have ice cream every day at camp? There is nothing wrong with kids hearing that - as long as you can afford it, it would be okay to give the kids ice cream money for at least one day a week or even once a month.

Signed,

Another poster who grew up with a poor, single mom and she told us all the time when she couldn't afford something.

[Anonymous]

A better lesson would be to have them work to earn money to buy the ice cream. This scenario is pretty extreme especially given the kids ages. These aren't teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same person who was "furious" at your kid for spending $18 on lunch on a field trip?

[Anonymous]

you sound awful, even other children are paying for your kids

[Anonymous]

Lol at forbidden ice cream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol at forbidden ice cream

I thought this was going to be a thread about a lactose intolerant kid eating ice cream and getting sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. The ignorance and privilege in these responses is so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed for all of you. "OP, you say you don't have an extra $30? You can solve that problem by magically saving an extra $30 that you don't have!" Ick.

I'm sorry OP. That situation sounds really frustrating. You've worked really hard to save for your kids and they seem to lack awareness of that. But they are just kids.

FWIW, I think this is a pretty common occurrence at camp, kids giving other kids money for whatever reason. Sometimes it gets paid back, sometimes it doesn't. I know you probably felt a burden to pay the other family back, but you really didn't/don't have to. My son has given kids money and sometimes they pay him back (and then they lend him money if he forgets) and sometimes they don't pay him back (then he learns to think carefully about lending and saying no). It's a small way for kids to experience consequences for their actions, good and bad.

+1

OP don't be mad at your kids though, they're just being kids. Can you send in a (much cheaper) alternate snack they can have when the ice cream truck comes? Something they really like and view as a treat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wrote a long note to the parent of this other child, commending her son for being kind and thoughtful, but explaining that I am trying to teach my children the difference between a need and a want, and the difference between a quick treat now versus saving up for something big and special.

What is wrong with you, seriously? You have every right to tell your own children they can't have ice cream or accept money from other children for ice cream. But writing someone else's parent a letter like this is out of line. I would toss it in the trash, assume you were crazy, and expect you to manage your own kids and tell them to decline if my child offered to buy.

Yeah, writing the other parent a "long note" is just...off and over-the-top and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Could you give each kid $5 per week and say to them "you get to pick how to use this money. You can use it on ice cream or you can save it for something else entirely - you pick."

That way THEY learn to make responsible money choices and still get to have some fun.

[Anonymous]

Why did you write the other mom a note? She likely didn't even have any idea about the lending money and it certainly wasn't her fault nor was she trying to derail your parenting.

Your issue was with the camp directors and counselors who should be monitoring this. Next year pick a different camp and avoid the drama.