Favorite thing about your affair partner?

[Anonymous]

The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

You're good at rationalizing. That's like saying someone is trustworthy in all areas except for forging checks or stealing from your employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

I'll propose a theory that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a man will cheat to his capacity for romance. In other words, ladies, if he's cheating, he's more likely to be using you as his cum dumpster. If he's the romantic sort, he's probably sticking it out with his wife even if she's not necessarily worthy of the effort.

The corollary to this could be that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a woman is to cheat and her ability to recognize when a man is using her for his cum dumpster.

I totally disagree. The more likely a guy is to lavish gifts and flowers, the more likely he is to cheat in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

I think it's either one guy, a troll, or an angry woman. Some guys on explicit talk about loving their APs and say they're only married for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

I think it's either one guy, a troll, or an angry woman. Some guys on explicit talk about loving their APs and say they're only married for their kids.

Same song and dance when they first met the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

I'll propose a theory that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a man will cheat to his capacity for romance. In other words, ladies, if he's cheating, he's more likely to be using you as his cum dumpster. If he's the romantic sort, he's probably sticking it out with his wife even if she's not necessarily worthy of the effort.

The corollary to this could be that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a woman is to cheat and her ability to recognize when a man is using her for his cum dumpster.

I totally disagree. The more likely a guy is to lavish gifts and flowers, the more likely he is to cheat in my experience.

If you equate gifts, flowers, and superficial crap with romance, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

I'll propose a theory that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a man will cheat to his capacity for romance. In other words, ladies, if he's cheating, he's more likely to be using you as his cum dumpster. If he's the romantic sort, he's probably sticking it out with his wife even if she's not necessarily worthy of the effort.

The corollary to this could be that there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood a woman is to cheat and her ability to recognize when a man is using her for his cum dumpster.

I totally disagree. The more likely a guy is to lavish gifts and flowers, the more likely he is to cheat in my experience.

I think it's true. I'm faithful to a fault, and stingy as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little disturbed that not one man posted here with some sort of lovely, romantic thing about his AP. Yet there were several women who went on and on about theirs.

Is this just a coincidence, or is it that men don't really have romantic love/affection for their APs and are just in it for the sex and not the romance?

Yes, a few anonymous online posters claiming to be men or women are a statistically significant sample to draw realistic conclusions about men and women in general

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems that honesty, character, trustworthy, and integrity don't get listed in this thread.

The overwhelming majority of people can't claim those, affairs or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

You're good at rationalizing. That's like saying someone is trustworthy in all areas except for forging checks or stealing from your employer.

Yes, mothers stand before judges all the time and say just that during sentencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who reads these threads and wonders if my wife is posting here? This definitely feeds into every insecurity and feeling of inadequacy I've ever had in my marriage.

Is she satisfied in bed? Do you treat her with respect? If yes to both, don't sweat it.

Not really sure about the first one, but yes to the second one. Sounds like maybe I do need to sweat it a little. I am hesitant about the first one because if she were truly satisfied, she'd be more interested than 3 x per month, right?

Why have you been ok not knowing the answer to the first question? You should get off on pleasing her and that should be your primary goal (and vice versa) when having sex. You probably wouldn't have to worry otherwise. I honestly wonder if some of the so-called nice guys are selfish in bed and other areas but look good on paper otherwise.

You make a lot of assumptions. If having an orgasm every time means she's satisfied, then the answer is yes. I ALWAYS put her first. Selfish in bed is not one of my failings. But I believe there is more to it than that. If she were truly thrilled with our sex life wouldn't there be more of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who reads these threads and wonders if my wife is posting here? This definitely feeds into every insecurity and feeling of inadequacy I've ever had in my marriage.

Is she satisfied in bed? Do you treat her with respect? If yes to both, don't sweat it.

Not really sure about the first one, but yes to the second one. Sounds like maybe I do need to sweat it a little. I am hesitant about the first one because if she were truly satisfied, she'd be more interested than 3 x per month, right?

Why have you been ok not knowing the answer to the first question? You should get off on pleasing her and that should be your primary goal (and vice versa) when having sex. You probably wouldn't have to worry otherwise. I honestly wonder if some of the so-called nice guys are selfish in bed and other areas but look good on paper otherwise.

You make a lot of assumptions. If having an orgasm every time means she's satisfied, then the answer is yes. I ALWAYS put her first. Selfish in bed is not one of my failings. But I believe there is more to it than that. If she were truly thrilled with our sex life wouldn't there be more of it?

Unfortunately, there could be many factors at play here...without knowing more about your situation it's tough to comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that honesty, character, trustworthy, and integrity don't get listed in this thread.

The overwhelming majority of people can't claim those, affairs or not.

If you don't cheat on your spouse you are FAR above the disgusting people in this thread in terms of honesty, character, trustworthiness, and integrity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

Yes, apart from committing one of the most fundamentally dishonest and hurtful things you can do to another human being, you guys are awesome! You could be my friends for sure.

Except you both make me sick.