Best Way for professional woman to meet professional man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman dating in DC I would say men here don't care what you do for a living. Are you well spoken? Do you present well so if he has to take you to a business function you won't embarrass him? Can you hold your own in a conversation? That seems to be about it.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, take this for what it's worth. I think it's a matter of perspective, not changing the places you look.

As background, I'm a guy in my late 30s, with a kid, who went to good schools and has a good job as a lawyer. I've also been divorced about a year. My ex was "super accomplished" and I'm inherently attracted to that type for many of the reasons you describe - it just feels more natural to me in how I interact with others.

That said, many of my dates with professional / accomplished women haven't been great. They tend to be more intellectual, which can be very stimulating, but does not often lead to an emotional or romantic connection. I often leave such dates feeling flat. In addition, as a PP noted, I often find professional women very impressed with themselves and their accomplishments. I'm sure many guys are likewise self-impressed, but I purposely don't hang out with them. In my opinion, being an accomplished professional in DC is not really that unique. It's a dime a dozen with lots of people who went to good schools with important jobs. I know that about myself. A good career doesn't mean I'm a special snowflake or that my shit doesn't stink. I get turned off when a date has an air suggesting that I have to impress her. I'd much rather relate as a basic human being, discussing wants, needs, and desires, than engage in such an enterprise.

Most if this pertains to women in their 30s. Younger women tend not to be interested because I have a kid. And I've yet to be able to get a date with women in the 40s — despite matching on apps, they've never panned out. Oh well.

Which leads me to my final point, baggage. I love my son with all my heart and he is the joy of my life. I wish I could see him more than the 50% I do. But I can't, because he's with his mom, who's great with him. So I date when I don't have him. And in that world, the dating world, having a kid can be a problem. I've had many women say they weren't ready to date a guy with a kid or not interested in someone who already had a priority in their life. And I understand that this significantly reduces the dating pool. As you're age probably does for you. Many guys in their 30s, 40s, and 50s want to have kids. So they trey to find women young enough to have them. Whether you can or not, I don't know, but many guys will assume you can't. You might have better luck if you think of yourself with a great woman with baggage, rather than just as "a catch." I know at least I would relate to that better. And it might help you filter better. Is looking for divorced 50yo a good strategy for you? I dunno, depends on how much they want to procreate. You may be better off with a younger guy who already has a kid and doesn't want more, as they have more "energy."

I'm sorry if this is preachy, and I know nothing here is that insightful. But I'm hoping this helps.

You sounds adorable. I'd date you (not OP).

Ha!
I was just about to write the same thing.
I felt a little "flutter" by the time I got to the last paragraph.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say conferences, conventions and online dating would be the best places to meet. High powered men cheat a lot though. Personally I feel two high powered people are not a good mix, as there is not a good balance there. If children are involved they are often neglected in favor of careers.

The elite have never really directly cared for their children. You think the upstairs characters in Downton Abbey, Upstairs/Downstairs, Brideshead Revisited, etc., really changed any diapers? Hell, even the 150-200 pounds a year set (upper middle class) had a maid that did childcare as needed.

The idea that upper-middle class parents need to be intimately involved in their kids' lives is a fairly recent invention.

[Anonymous]

This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

Of course men are a dime a dozen, but not the type she wants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men are not nearly as focused on their potential mate's career and status as women are.

It seems unfair, but cute and nice, with an otherwise unimpressive career or intellect, wins out over the "accomplished professional" with the not always pleasant personality traits that go along with it. Many a 35-45 woman discover the hard way that the men who they consider there "equals" are not particularly interested in them.

Wait. When I turn 35 I get lumped in with the 45s? That didn't happen when I was 25.

Depends on if he wants kids. A 40+ year old man who wants kids is not looking for 40+ year old women. It's not fair, but thats how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

Of course men are a dime a dozen, but not the type she wants

Right. If she just wants sex, yeah it's easy. But she wants a relationship with a "professional" man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

Tons of elite status, attractive successful men looking for women at upscale bars and hotels. However, few are single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the vast majority of successful, professional men in D.C. are interested in women who bring something to the table in terms of money, intelligence and education.

Why would a successful man care about a woman's money? Why would he reject a woman based on education beyound a certain minimum? I'm not particularly successful I admit, but I married someone who was cute, intelligent, sweet, and fun to be with. She changed old peoples' diapers for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a very successful professional woman. Divorced, mid 40s, got my stuff together, fun, not crazy, attractive woman. I'm not having trouble finding men to date. The guys I've dated have been good guys with good jobs. They just have not been on my wavelength in terms of ambition, desire to learn/grow, energy level etc. I don't know how to put this in to words well, but I think a better match would be a business owner or super accomplished professional. It's not about the money, more about our experiences and outlook. I do have enough of my own money btw.

Can anyone relate? And do these types of men want to date people like me? Where do I meet them? I've started keeping my eyes open in work related settings, but haven't made any moves towards dating men I meet since they're business contacts, so in these cases hits not been appropriate.

I think you should try dating younger men. They may not be as accomplished, but I think they will be more ambitious and have more energy. In other words, excited about the future.

I've known a fair number of successful older guys, meaning mid-40's and up, who seem like they're winding down in their careers. They seem jaded with professional success and like they're wondering what else life has to offer. Dreaming of sleeping in on the weekends, or not having to work at all. Just my experience though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the vast majority of successful, professional men in D.C. are interested in women who bring something to the table in terms of money, intelligence and education.

Why would a successful man care about a woman's money? Why would he reject a woman based on education beyound a certain minimum? I'm not particularly successful I admit, but I married someone who was cute, intelligent, sweet, and fun to be with. She changed old peoples' diapers for a living.

You, though, are a normal person who probably got married because you fell in love.

There are other kinds of guys who want their wife to be more of a professional equal. She should have a well-paying job, family money, or both. She should have a good pedigree so that their children will be intelligent. He's probably planning on private schools for the kids. There are guys who want to marry up. I'm not sure how much their feelings for her even come into the equation. They're looking for a good "wife," a woman who checks the boxes, a good set of chromosomes and someone they'll be proud to take to company dinners and home to mother.

PS - these are the guys who start having affairs 10 years in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

Dicks are a dime a dozen. A committed partner is harder to come by

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post has to be a troll. Men are a dime a dozen. She could go to conferences or an upscale bar and find someone in ten minutes. I mean, seriously?

Dicks are a dime a dozen. A committed partner is harder to come by

Similarly saggng boobs are a dime a dozen. Plus they are just as commitment phobic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've dated women like OP, always talking about their drive and intelligence and need for some super ambitious man. It's tiring, and the women were never as awesome as they thought they were.

Cool your jets, OP. I'm sure you're terrific but quit making dating feel like a professional interview. Men looking for actual relationships want to be appreciated for being men, not for their professional accomplishments.

Good comment.

OP sounds exhausting. Apparently she wants to be part of a power couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've dated women like OP, always talking about their drive and intelligence and need for some super ambitious man. It's tiring, and the women were never as awesome as they thought they were.

Cool your jets, OP. I'm sure you're terrific but quit making dating feel like a professional interview. Men looking for actual relationships want to be appreciated for being men, not for their professional accomplishments.

Good comment.



OP sounds exhausting. Apparently she wants to be part of a power couple.

Ugh. I would croak if my brother met someone like her.