Best Way for professional woman to meet professional man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are mid 40s, not mid 20s. The competition for this type of men is extremely high. Its almost the opposite of the very attractive 20 some women. Instead, these men are married(reducing the pool), have 20's, 30's and 40's year old women after them. Good luck!

Yep, I hope OP's milkshake brings the boys to the yard.

Available alpha men will have cute and smart 25-30 year olds throwing themselves at them. (Hell some of the unavailable alpha men have this "problem.")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP is looking for an Executive.

Named Larlo, one would hope.

Or maybe OP's a very attractive woman who will only settle for Larlio (Larlo + Fabio).

[Anonymous]

As in, a hooker? Probably craiglist. But be careful because there are so many sketchy people on there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP is looking for an Executive.

[Anonymous]

I've dated women like OP, always talking about their drive and intelligence and need for some super ambitious man. It's tiring, and the women were never as awesome as they thought they were.

Cool your jets, OP. I'm sure you're terrific but quit making dating feel like a professional interview. Men looking for actual relationships want to be appreciated for being men, not for their professional accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are mid 40s, not mid 20s. The competition for this type of men is extremely high. Its almost the opposite of the very attractive 20 some women. Instead, these men are married(reducing the pool), have 20's, 30's and 40's year old women after them. Good luck!

This is true. I am not taking a shot at OP - for all I know she may be very attractive, an awesome conversationalist, total freak in bed, and stands way above the rest of the women she is competing with. But she does need to understand what she is aspiring to is a very rare and in demand mate. It's like a younger man without lots of money trying to figure out where all the models hang out, and people telling him that models are not likely going to be interested in him unless he is much more than the average man who is looking for a model.

I think the advice to look for an older man - mid-50s, divorced is probably a realistic goal

[Anonymous]

Most men are not nearly as focused on their potential mate's career and status as women are.

It seems unfair, but cute and nice, with an otherwise unimpressive career or intellect, wins out over the "accomplished professional" with the not always pleasant personality traits that go along with it. Many a 35-45 woman discover the hard way that the men who they consider there "equals" are not particularly interested in them.

[Anonymous]

I've found that people that declare they are 'professional' are usually new to being a professional. That may be what potential suitors are smelling and therefore you seem less professional and more 'on their wavelength'. Also, if you work in professional circles there are always men to date even if they're not co-workers. It may be networking or industry organizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've found that people that declare they are 'professional' are usually new to being a professional. That may be what potential suitors are smelling and therefore you seem less professional and more 'on their wavelength'. Also, if you work in professional circles there are always men to date even if they're not co-workers. It may be networking or industry organizations.

I think the phrase OP used, Super Accomplished Professional, is suspect for someone who claims to be that themselves. Anyone who prefaces a description with Super comes off as flighty or immature.

[Anonymous]

In a professional setting

[Anonymous]

I have the type of man OP describes but I'm nothing like the OP. 30, work part time, a DC 10, nurturing. I'm not saying all successful men have the same preferences at DH but I wouldn't be surprised if the most successful men don't rate a woman's career that high on their list of priorities.

[Anonymous]

Op, take this for what it's worth. I think it's a matter of perspective, not changing the places you look.

As background, I'm a guy in my late 30s, with a kid, who went to good schools and has a good job as a lawyer. I've also been divorced about a year. My ex was "super accomplished" and I'm inherently attracted to that type for many of the reasons you describe - it just feels more natural to me in how I interact with others.

That said, many of my dates with professional / accomplished women haven't been great. They tend to be more intellectual, which can be very stimulating, but does not often lead to an emotional or romantic connection. I often leave such dates feeling flat. In addition, as a PP noted, I often find professional women very impressed with themselves and their accomplishments. I'm sure many guys are likewise self-impressed, but I purposely don't hang out with them. In my opinion, being an accomplished professional in DC is not really that unique. It's a dime a dozen with lots of people who went to good schools with important jobs. I know that about myself. A good career doesn't mean I'm a special snowflake or that my shit doesn't stink. I get turned off when a date has an air suggesting that I have to impress her. I'd much rather relate as a basic human being, discussing wants, needs, and desires, than engage in such an enterprise.

Most if this pertains to women in their 30s. Younger women tend not to be interested because I have a kid. And I've yet to be able to get a date with women in the 40s — despite matching on apps, they've never panned out. Oh well.

Which leads me to my final point, baggage. I love my son with all my heart and he is the joy of my life. I wish I could see him more than the 50% I do. But I can't, because he's with his mom, who's great with him. So I date when I don't have him. And in that world, the dating world, having a kid can be a problem. I've had many women say they weren't ready to date a guy with a kid or not interested in someone who already had a priority in their life. And I understand that this significantly reduces the dating pool. As you're age probably does for you. Many guys in their 30s, 40s, and 50s want to have kids. So they trey to find women young enough to have them. Whether you can or not, I don't know, but many guys will assume you can't. You might have better luck if you think of yourself with a great woman with baggage, rather than just as "a catch." I know at least I would relate to that better. And it might help you filter better. Is looking for divorced 50yo a good strategy for you? I dunno, depends on how much they want to procreate. You may be better off with a younger guy who already has a kid and doesn't want more, as they have more "energy."

I'm sorry if this is preachy, and I know nothing here is that insightful. But I'm hoping this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a very successful professional woman. Divorced, mid 40s, got my stuff together, fun, not crazy, attractive woman. I'm not having trouble finding men to date. The guys I've dated have been good guys with good jobs. They just have not been on my wavelength in terms of ambition, desire to learn/grow, energy level etc. I don't know how to put this in to words well, but I think a better match would be a business owner or super accomplished professional. It's not about the money, more about our experiences and outlook. I do have enough of my own money btw.

Can anyone relate? And do these types of men want to date people like me? Where do I meet them? I've started keeping my eyes open in work related settings, but haven't made any moves towards dating men I meet since they're business contacts, so in these cases hits not been appropriate.

Let's see a photo of you first.

[Anonymous]

Why did you divorce, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, take this for what it's worth. I think it's a matter of perspective, not changing the places you look.

As background, I'm a guy in my late 30s, with a kid, who went to good schools and has a good job as a lawyer. I've also been divorced about a year. My ex was "super accomplished" and I'm inherently attracted to that type for many of the reasons you describe - it just feels more natural to me in how I interact with others.

That said, many of my dates with professional / accomplished women haven't been great. They tend to be more intellectual, which can be very stimulating, but does not often lead to an emotional or romantic connection. I often leave such dates feeling flat. In addition, as a PP noted, I often find professional women very impressed with themselves and their accomplishments. I'm sure many guys are likewise self-impressed, but I purposely don't hang out with them. In my opinion, being an accomplished professional in DC is not really that unique. It's a dime a dozen with lots of people who went to good schools with important jobs. I know that about myself. A good career doesn't mean I'm a special snowflake or that my shit doesn't stink. I get turned off when a date has an air suggesting that I have to impress her. I'd much rather relate as a basic human being, discussing wants, needs, and desires, than engage in such an enterprise.

Most if this pertains to women in their 30s. Younger women tend not to be interested because I have a kid. And I've yet to be able to get a date with women in the 40s — despite matching on apps, they've never panned out. Oh well.

Which leads me to my final point, baggage. I love my son with all my heart and he is the joy of my life. I wish I could see him more than the 50% I do. But I can't, because he's with his mom, who's great with him. So I date when I don't have him. And in that world, the dating world, having a kid can be a problem. I've had many women say they weren't ready to date a guy with a kid or not interested in someone who already had a priority in their life. And I understand that this significantly reduces the dating pool. As you're age probably does for you. Many guys in their 30s, 40s, and 50s want to have kids. So they trey to find women young enough to have them. Whether you can or not, I don't know, but many guys will assume you can't. You might have better luck if you think of yourself with a great woman with baggage, rather than just as "a catch." I know at least I would relate to that better. And it might help you filter better. Is looking for divorced 50yo a good strategy for you? I dunno, depends on how much they want to procreate. You may be better off with a younger guy who already has a kid and doesn't want more, as they have more "energy."

I'm sorry if this is preachy, and I know nothing here is that insightful. But I'm hoping this helps.

You sounds adorable. I'd date you (not OP).