Hey visitors: Put your kids to bed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:relax, it's vacation. I'm pretty strict with bedtime normally, but when I go to my sister's house, there have been times when we let them stay up past their bedtime because we're busy chatting and catching up, and the kids are fine. Family get togethers include children, too.

Maybe they think it's nice for the kids to be around their cousins, aunts, uncles whom they don't see that often, so they let them stay up longer.

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.

I have seen quite enough of BIL and FIL for the day. Could they ease quietly retire to their bedrooms? The kids? They can stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:relax, it's vacation. I'm pretty strict with bedtime normally, but when I go to my sister's house, there have been times when we let them stay up past their bedtime because we're busy chatting and catching up, and the kids are fine. Family get togethers include children, too.

Maybe they think it's nice for the kids to be around their cousins, aunts, uncles whom they don't see that often, so they let them stay up longer.

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.

I have seen quite enough of BIL and FIL for the day. Could they ease quietly retire to their bedrooms? The kids? They can stay.

There are these things called hotels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm not hosting, but I did just get done "co-guesting" at my parents with my sister's family. My kids were in bed and stayed in bed by 8. She let hers stay up until 11, when she went to he'd, every night. They woke up my dad every night. No adult time with my parents, brother...or sister and BIL. Sister and BIL just can't be bothered to parent on vacation. So this isn't just about hosts; it's about other guests, too!

Wow, I thought for a moment that I had written this post and somehow forgotten I did. We are in the exact situation. My 2 and 5 y.o. go to bed at 8pm, while my sister's 3 and 10 y.o. go to bed anywhere between 10 an 11 pm. That's not their special vacation bedtime either; that is their normal bedtime. They are both constantly sleep-deprived, and the 10 y.o. acts out in school because she's so tired everyday. During vacations, my sister constantly expresses amazement that my kids are in bed, and complains about having no "adult time" in the evenings because she has to continually manage her tired, cranky kids. But she absolutely refuses to consider an earlier bedtime. Honestly, my parents, DH, and I deal with it but doing our own fun things and letting her deal with her own kids at night. Her choice, her consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.

My 6 year old's normal bedtime is 9:30 pm. I wish he went to bed earlier, but he doesn't. He's not going to go to bed earlier just because we are on travel. I play cards, board games, color with him, and play games with him on the ipad. If his presence offends you that greatly, keep away from us and go hang with family members without kids.

Stop being so sensitive. Clearly no one is offended by well-behaved kids whose parents are actually watching them. READ THE ORIGINAL POST. When OP was saying "get off the iPad, peel away from the DVR," she's talking about the parents who just check out and relax and refuse to actually *BE PARENTS* while their kids are up late. If your kids are supervised and aren't bothering people, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm not hosting, but I did just get done "co-guesting" at my parents with my sister's family. My kids were in bed and stayed in bed by 8. She let hers stay up until 11, when she went to he'd, every night. They woke up my dad every night. No adult time with my parents, brother...or sister and BIL. Sister and BIL just can't be bothered to parent on vacation. So this isn't just about hosts; it's about other guests, too!

Wow, I thought for a moment that I had written this post and somehow forgotten I did. We are in the exact situation. My 2 and 5 y.o. go to bed at 8pm, while my sister's 3 and 10 y.o. go to bed anywhere between 10 an 11 pm. That's not their special vacation bedtime either; that is their normal bedtime. They are both constantly sleep-deprived, and the 10 y.o. acts out in school because she's so tired everyday. During vacations, my sister constantly expresses amazement that my kids are in bed, and complains about having no "adult time" in the evenings because she has to continually manage her tired, cranky kids. But she absolutely refuses to consider an earlier bedtime. Honestly, my parents, DH, and I deal with it but doing our own fun things and letting her deal with her own kids at night. Her choice, her consequences.

I feel so bad for overtired kids! Naps and proper bedtimes are really important for little ones, and even the older kids. It's amazing to me how many parents don't get the correlation between behavior issues and the need for more sleep. My niece is absolutely adorable, but she hits an overtired wall every single night and turns into a complete monster. She's so wound up, because she's been pushed past her limit.

I'm over it with my sister, too. I used to play games with my nieces and nephew and give them attention until their parents actually put them in bed, but now I'm done when I'm done. My kids are in bed at 8, and between 8:30-10:30, it's me time and I will spend it talking to my brother, my husband, my parents, reading magazines, etc. She can continue to be oblivious on her iPhone; it's not on me if her kids knock over a lamp at Grandma's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old? My 3 year old does not sleep well on vacation. Our options are, one of us has to go to bed with him, where he will be too out of sorts to go to sleep, anyway, we can let him yell and scream if we leave him alone in the unfamiliar room, or we can let him stay up late. We've learned by experience that staying up late is the best option for all involved.

OP, some kids just don't function well while away.

Maybe you should home till little Timmy can sleep on his own. Or better yet in a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.


My 6 year old's normal bedtime is 9:30 pm. I wish he went to bed earlier, but he doesn't. He's not going to go to bed earlier just because we are on travel. I play cards, board games, color with him, and play games with him on the ipad. If his presence offends you that greatly, keep away from us and go hang with family members without kids.



Stop being so sensitive. Clearly no one is offended by well-behaved kids whose parents are actually watching them. READ THE ORIGINAL POST. When OP was saying "get off the iPad, peel away from the DVR," she's talking about the parents who just check out and relax and refuse to actually *BE PARENTS* while their kids are up late. If your kids are supervised and aren't bothering people, it's fine.

I'm a bit sensitive about this topic because my BIL and SIL are genuinely offended by the presence of my son, regardless of whether he is well behaved. They consider it offensive that he may ask them a question or say something to them (such as "do you like star wars?") when I am sitting there entertaining him. So it may be that the PP would not be offended by well behaved kids, but my family members seem to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:relax, it's vacation. I'm pretty strict with bedtime normally, but when I go to my sister's house, there have been times when we let them stay up past their bedtime because we're busy chatting and catching up, and the kids are fine. Family get togethers include children, too.

Maybe they think it's nice for the kids to be around their cousins, aunts, uncles whom they don't see that often, so they let them stay up longer.

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.

I have seen quite enough of BIL and FIL for the day. Could they please quietly retire to their bedrooms? The kids? They can stay.

Yes. It would be nice if they went there instead of invading my rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You're only thinking of yourself and your kids. If there are other adults in the house, consider that they may have seen quite enough of Little Billy for the day.


My 6 year old's normal bedtime is 9:30 pm. I wish he went to bed earlier, but he doesn't. He's not going to go to bed earlier just because we are on travel. I play cards, board games, color with him, and play games with him on the ipad. If his presence offends you that greatly, keep away from us and go hang with family members without kids.



Stop being so sensitive. Clearly no one is offended by well-behaved kids whose parents are actually watching them. READ THE ORIGINAL POST. When OP was saying "get off the iPad, peel away from the DVR," she's talking about the parents who just check out and relax and refuse to actually *BE PARENTS* while their kids are up late. If your kids are supervised and aren't bothering people, it's fine.

I'm a bit sensitive about this topic because my BIL and SIL are genuinely offended by the presence of my son, regardless of whether he is well behaved. They consider it offensive that he may ask them a question or say something to them (such as "do you like star wars?") when I am sitting there entertaining him. So it may be that the PP would not be offended by well behaved kids, but my family members seem to be.

Surely you realize this is extreme/abnormal behavior on their part, and doesn't apply to 99% of people reading/posting to this thread. I'm sorry that's your dynamic, though. I hope it improves.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who cannot fathom interacting with op and some of op's supporters IRL??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who cannot fathom interacting with op and some of op's supporters IRL??

You can't fathom interacting with adults who put their kids to bed at a decent hour and enjoy one another's company because you are exactly the type of "whatever" parent we try to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who cannot fathom interacting with op and some of op's supporters IRL??

That point could obviously be made on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who cannot fathom interacting with op and some of op's supporters IRL??

That point could obviously be made on both sides.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who cannot fathom interacting with op and some of op's supporters IRL??

You can't fathom interacting with adults who put their kids to bed at a decent hour and enjoy one another's company because you are exactly the type of "whatever" parent we try to avoid.

Actually I am pretty uptight about my kids going to bed early. I just allow for others in my life to make choices that are different from me. It is liberating, you should try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to read all the responses, but staying at someone else's house is so overstimulating that my kids can't calm down enough to go to sleep at their usual bedtime. It also doesn't help when the adults watch a movie or television with the volume cranked up, or give them gifts, or games the kids are not used to, or if they are seeing people they haven't seen in a long time. Combine that with a long car or plane ride, or jet lag, and it's a recipe for a screwed up bedtime (especially if they took a nap earlier). So before you start judging other parents, realize you don't know the whole story. You sound like you're the one that needs a proper bed time so you won't be so cranky.