Hey visitors: Put your kids to bed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For every relative making this complaint, another's complaining that DIL is so uptight about her schedule and doesn't even let the family hang out with their grandkids/nieces/nephews/cousins. I've given up trying to please.

Word. Pass the wine.

[Anonymous]

This is part of why we no longer stay at my IL's house. My BIL lives there with his two children and they don't sleep....ever. My child, who isn't the best sleeper to begin with, came in complaining that they were keeping her awake. It was almost 11 PM and they still had the damn TV on in their room. Um, no. No wonder your kids don't sleep - and I did ask, this was how every night was done, not just a special thing because cousins were visiting.

We now stay with another family member who has a guest house. So much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visitors/family with kids, this is not a vacation from your parental duties just because aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are around. Get off the iPad, peel away from the conversation, pause the DVR and go put your kids to bed properly.

Why are you letting your young kids stay up more than an hour past their normal bedtime, for several nights in a row? The rest if the adults in the house should be able to have some quiet, relaxing, kid-free time...we want to chat with the other adults. ESPECIALLY those of us who have kids and did the right thing and put them to bed properly.

This is one of the strangest posts I've ever seen. Do you hate everyone or just your extended family? What a weirdo.

Let's guess what kind of guest you are...

Happy? Fun? Not the prissy old bitty in the corner rolling my eyes at people, I can tell you that.

You seriously need to take a pill or something. So some other people's kids are awake later than normal... Who cares?! The adults can talk and laugh and drink and do whatever it is you do in your family, the kids can hang out with cousins they never see, watch movies, run around, shit kids do. It's boisterous and fun and the stuff that makes memories.

I'm sure you're a real good time though. All the responsible adult guests just on the edge of their seats for the moment the kids are in bed so they can chat you up. Merry Christmas!

You I like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visitors/family with kids, this is not a vacation from your parental duties just because aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are around. Get off the iPad, peel away from the conversation, pause the DVR and go put your kids to bed properly.

Why are you letting your young kids stay up more than an hour past their normal bedtime, for several nights in a row? The rest if the adults in the house should be able to have some quiet, relaxing, kid-free time...we want to chat with the other adults. ESPECIALLY those of us who have kids and did the right thing and put them to bed properly.

This is one of the strangest posts I've ever seen. Do you hate everyone or just your extended family? What a weirdo.

Let's guess what kind of guest you are...

Happy? Fun? Not the prissy old bitty in the corner rolling my eyes at people, I can tell you that.

You seriously need to take a pill or something. So some other people's kids are awake later than normal... Who cares?! The adults can talk and laugh and drink and do whatever it is you do in your family, the kids can hang out with cousins they never see, watch movies, run around, shit kids do. It's boisterous and fun and the stuff that makes memories.

I'm sure you're a real good time though. All the responsible adult guests just on the edge of their seats for the moment the kids are in bed so they can chat you up. Merry Christmas!

It's so obvious that you are the parent who let's young children run wild, up late because you assume there is no greater pleasure in life for grandma or a auntie than to watch your kid for you while you get the break you "deserve."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is part of why we no longer stay at my IL's house. My BIL lives there with his two children and they don't sleep....ever. My child, who isn't the best sleeper to begin with, came in complaining that they were keeping her awake. It was almost 11 PM and they still had the damn TV on in their room. Um, no. No wonder your kids don't sleep - and I did ask, this was how every night was done, not just a special thing because cousins were visiting.

We now stay with another family member who has a guest house. So much happier.

Glad you found a solution! I feel sorry for those overtired kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visitors/family with kids, this is not a vacation from your parental duties just because aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are around. Get off the iPad, peel away from the conversation, pause the DVR and go put your kids to bed properly.

Why are you letting your young kids stay up more than an hour past their normal bedtime, for several nights in a row? The rest if the adults in the house should be able to have some quiet, relaxing, kid-free time...we want to chat with the other adults. ESPECIALLY those of us who have kids and did the right thing and put them to bed properly.

This is one of the strangest posts I've ever seen. Do you hate everyone or just your extended family? What a weirdo.

Let's guess what kind of guest you are...

Happy? Fun? Not the prissy old bitty in the corner rolling my eyes at people, I can tell you that.

You seriously need to take a pill or something. So some other people's kids are awake later than normal... Who cares?! The adults can talk and laugh and drink and do whatever it is you do in your family, the kids can hang out with cousins they never see, watch movies, run around, shit kids do. It's boisterous and fun and the stuff that makes memories.

I'm sure you're a real good time though. All the responsible adult guests just on the edge of their seats for the moment the kids are in bed so they can chat you up. Merry Christmas!

This post wasn't cute. It was actually a little mean. Just because someone doesn't share your perspective doesn't make them dull or annoying. How old are these kids that you're even picturing or referring to-- because, girl, you be cray-cray if you're referring to kids under five.

[Anonymous]

I'm a grandma and I approve this message. I love being with my grandkids, but need to recharge my batteries. Especially as, frankly, I know my oldest daughter will not only be letting her kids stay up late, she'll be sending them out for me to watch in the morning while she sleeps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of why we no longer stay at my IL's house. My BIL lives there with his two children and they don't sleep....ever. My child, who isn't the best sleeper to begin with, came in complaining that they were keeping her awake. It was almost 11 PM and they still had the damn TV on in their room. Um, no. No wonder your kids don't sleep - and I did ask, this was how every night was done, not just a special thing because cousins were visiting.

We now stay with another family member who has a guest house. So much happier.

Glad you found a solution! I feel sorry for those overtired kids!

that's not even the half of it for those poor kids - That whole house/situation is a shitshow.

I am much happier to be staying elsewhere, especially now that we have a second little one. No way in hell am I cramming 4 people into my BIL's tiny bedroom for a week. Now we just visit for the day and go have some peace and quiet at night. My stress level on the last trip was so much less than before. My husband still thinks I'm being too cranky, but my child being forced to sleep in the room with us because her cousins are too wound up/wired at night is just the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a grandma and I approve this message. I love being with my grandkids, but need to recharge my batteries. Especially as, frankly, I know my oldest daughter will not only be letting her kids stay up late, she'll be sending them out for me to watch in the morning while she sleeps!

And this is what it really boils down to: parents who abstain from parenting when on vacation. They want to chill out, surf on the iPad, etc, and don't want to parent. I understand the desire to do that (I'm a parent of little kids and would love to check out), but it's a crappy thing to do to other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would never set a bedtime in my home. Nor would I tell my guests when to go to bed. It's just astounding to me that some parents are so oblivious to the fact that their kids are getting wired, tired and cranky, and the adults want and deserve time to relax!

Ah, you are passive aggressive. Got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visitors/family with kids, this is not a vacation from your parental duties just because aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are around. Get off the iPad, peel away from the conversation, pause the DVR and go put your kids to bed properly.

Why are you letting your young kids stay up more than an hour past their normal bedtime, for several nights in a row? The rest if the adults in the house should be able to have some quiet, relaxing, kid-free time...we want to chat with the other adults. ESPECIALLY those of us who have kids and did the right thing and put them to bed properly.

This is one of the strangest posts I've ever seen. Do you hate everyone or just your extended family? What a weirdo.

Let's guess what kind of guest you are...

Happy? Fun? Not the prissy old bitty in the corner rolling my eyes at people, I can tell you that.

You seriously need to take a pill or something. So some other people's kids are awake later than normal... Who cares?! The adults can talk and laugh and drink and do whatever it is you do in your family, the kids can hang out with cousins they never see, watch movies, run around, shit kids do. It's boisterous and fun and the stuff that makes memories.

I'm sure you're a real good time though. All the responsible adult guests just on the edge of their seats for the moment the kids are in bed so they can chat you up. Merry Christmas!

NP here. I see your point, but I've also experienced the other side of things. We had close friends stay with us and they have a younger kid (not the quiet tween that will happily read or play computer games). I think my friend's kid was around 2.5 or 3 at the time. My similarly aged kids went down by 8pm each night but my friends were up with their f*cken kid until around 10pm each night. Being brutally honest, the kid wasn't cute, quiet, or fun to be around during the later evening hours. I can understand older kids hanging about while adults talk, drink, whatever... but when younger kids are up late it SUCKS for everyone. I don't think hosts can dictate when kids go to bed, but they can certainly decide to avoid inviting people over in the future if the experience is unpleasant.

who lets a 3 year old stay up until 10?

[Anonymous]

When my son was little we'd travel to see family on the west coast, so he was always up late because of the time difference, especially at the beginning of the trip. We'd let him watch the iPad more than usual so he was out of the way and quiet. Maybe I'm oblivious and he was bothering everyone, but I really think it depends on how the kids are behaving. If they're running wild, yes there is an issue. But if they are well behaved and not bothering anyone who cares? Especially if you have the kind of kid that will sleep later if they stay up later. I'd rather deal with a kid until 10 PM if I don't have to hear them at 7 AM on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visitors/family with kids, this is not a vacation from your parental duties just because aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are around. Get off the iPad, peel away from the conversation, pause the DVR and go put your kids to bed properly.

Why are you letting your young kids stay up more than an hour past their normal bedtime, for several nights in a row? The rest if the adults in the house should be able to have some quiet, relaxing, kid-free time...we want to chat with the other adults. ESPECIALLY those of us who have kids and did the right thing and put them to bed properly.

This is one of the strangest posts I've ever seen. Do you hate everyone or just your extended family? What a weirdo.

Let's guess what kind of guest you are...

Happy? Fun? Not the prissy old bitty in the corner rolling my eyes at people, I can tell you that.

You seriously need to take a pill or something. So some other people's kids are awake later than normal... Who cares?! The adults can talk and laugh and drink and do whatever it is you do in your family, the kids can hang out with cousins they never see, watch movies, run around, shit kids do. It's boisterous and fun and the stuff that makes memories.

I'm sure you're a real good time though. All the responsible adult guests just on the edge of their seats for the moment the kids are in bed so they can chat you up. Merry Christmas!

NP here. I see your point, but I've also experienced the other side of things. We had close friends stay with us and they have a younger kid (not the quiet tween that will happily read or play computer games). I think my friend's kid was around 2.5 or 3 at the time. My similarly aged kids went down by 8pm each night but my friends were up with their f*cken kid until around 10pm each night. Being brutally honest, the kid wasn't cute, quiet, or fun to be around during the later evening hours. I can understand older kids hanging about while adults talk, drink, whatever... but when younger kids are up late it SUCKS for everyone. I don't think hosts can dictate when kids go to bed, but they can certainly decide to avoid inviting people over in the future if the experience is unpleasant.

who lets a 3 year old stay up until 10?

Well, we live in DC and my three-year-old went to bed at 10 tonight. He usually goes to bed at around 9pm. Some people put their kids to bed at 6 or 7. We never do that. I would be so annoyed if we traveled and my host said we needed to put our kids to bed at 8. My kids are never in bed by 8.

This is not about not parenting the kids. This is about the host and other adults wanting their adult time. It has nothing to do with what's "right" for the poor kids who will be so tired. This is about you wanting to drink without hearing kids in the background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I hate it when parents think they can go into "whatever" mode on vacation when it affects others in the house!

+1

SIL, I'm talking to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I hate it when parents think they can go into "whatever" mode on vacation when it affects others in the house!

+1

SIL, I'm talking to you!

Maybe you should talk about scheduled in advanced. SIL is probably equally annoyed that you want her kids in bed early. If they don't normally go to bed early, this is going to be a problem.