If your 1st grade daughter won the "fashionista" award at school...

[Anonymous]

Also to answer the original question, I would be very annoyed that my school was giving out label based awards (I'm somewhat okay with achievement awards that can be at least nominally measured) and I would find appearance based labels unacceptable whether my kid got one or not.

Not at that age, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the teachers are just trying to reflect back to the kids that they are really listening to them and are hearing what's important to them. Our daughter's teacher does this about her interest in fashion and I think it's great. Her teacher last year picks up on what's important to kids and includes it in their birthday celebration. For our daughter, her teacher last year also mused that the world became a lot funnier and a lot blonder the day she was born. She loved it. She 's also in to top math and reading groups, and had a very close to perfect (all 9th stanine) ERB report. She cares, though, about being fun, and loves playing with her very blond long hair very dramatically while playing pretend games. Same thing with her red-haired close friend.

I can't believe you think it is great that the teacher commented on her blondeness or that you think it is cute that she dramatically plays with her "long, blond (sic) hair." Why exactly did you feel the need to mention that she is a blonde two times? Why is her hair color something important to her that the teacher picked up on?

PP here. My DD's hair is a bright yellow/ white shade of blonde, and it's long, curly and think. People comment on it all the time, as they do with her bright red-haired friend when they are together. Her hair color and style is something she identifies with, and her teacher are remarking on it in a very nice way. It's not that I think it's "cute." It's that I'm glad her teachers know her, and thinks out what's important to her.

Is your daughter's hair color and style really the most important thing to her? You might want to work on finding a new area of strength so that her identity is not wrapped up in something so trivial/temporary.

No, if you read what I wrote, she's really into fashion, which she enjoys and I think is great . Someone asked why I mentioned her hair color. It's because it is distinctive in brightness and length and she enjoys it in her pretend play. People very often comment about it, and I'm glad she sees if as something positive and that she has fun with it. God, does everything have to be about her intellect. She tests at the top of the charts, dies very well in class, and also has other, more playful, artistic and silly interests. I'm glad teachers see that about her too. She feels known and seen. And as far as someone saying caring about her hair us superficial I have a few thoughts. First, she works to take care if it ( long, thick and full of knots). Second, it's very distinctive and she has chosen to make it something she owns and has embraced. I'm all for that. Third, I think it's important to care for how you look. It is not more important than other characteristics, but good grooming is important. Nothing wrong with that. And certainly nothing wrong with her interest in fashion. Given all the academic pressures and expectations, I'll take her interest in fashion and hair as a good sign. You may feel differently, but I know my DD. She knows she works hard and that she's very smart. I'm glad her teachers let her know that they also see her more playful side.

yes, but as a PP mentioned, hair tends to darken and coarsen over time, usually with puberty. you might want to discourage her from tying so much of her sense of self to her hair or she may end up very disappointed and grow hard on herself when the compliments lessen and then stop coming about her hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blonde hair (especially white blonde) is ugly to me so I disagree with the "typically pretty" comment. Very narrow-minded. I especially dislike long blonde hair because it is usually very thin.

It really creeps me out that the kid and her mom think that her hair color is something important. I get the individual sense of style but not the hair color.

+1,000,000 on all counts.

What the hell sexist and racist schools are these where teachers are giving out fashionista awards and acclaiming blonde hair?

Really? Because people have unfortunate tendencies to "celebrate" blonde hair, you think it's okay to say blonde hair is "ugly" to you? And, that you dislike blonde hair because it's typically very "thin?"

So, it's okay to value thick hair, and it's okay to diss hair color as long as the color you're dissing is blonde (and stringy?)

You sound like a total jerk.

No -- I think she was just come countering another poster's statement that blonde hair is "typically pretty", i.e., it's not pretty to her so the "typically" part is not true. I also don't read her as suggesting ANY particular kind of hair should be valued.

You need to calm yourself, Rapunzel.

[Anonymous]

On the blonde hair thing- blonde is valued because it's dying out. Same with blue eyes. The majority of Americans used to have blue eyes, but now it's become rare. My kids have 7/8 great grandparents with blue eyes, but there's a huge probability that they won't have the gene.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/18/world/americas/18iht-web.1018eyes.3199975.html?_r=0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the blonde hair thing- blonde is valued because it's dying out. Same with blue eyes. The majority of Americans used to have blue eyes, but now it's become rare. My kids have 7/8 great grandparents with blue eyes, but there's a huge probability that they won't have the gene.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/18/world/americas/18iht-web.1018eyes.3199975.html?_r=0

White supremacists were right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OMG ARE YOU ME?

DD just got frigging "FASHIONISTA" for her pre-school graduation and I just about died!!!

The students wear uniforms to school, people. WTF?

I left the ceremony, completely pissed off. Another mom saw me in the hall and commiserated. DS's certificate hangs by his bed years later, is colorful and so terribly sweet.

It's only been a few days and I can't tell you where it is.

Fashionista my ass.

Op again--wow! I wonder if it was the same school. Is yours a bilingual school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the blonde hair thing- blonde is valued because it's dying out. Same with blue eyes. The majority of Americans used to have blue eyes, but now it's become rare. My kids have 7/8 great grandparents with blue eyes, but there's a huge probability that they won't have the gene.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/18/world/americas/18iht-web.1018eyes.3199975.html?_r=0

Thanks Hitler

[Anonymous]

I agree that the awards-for-everyone is a TERRIBLE idea. This year, my daughter brought home an award that was completely bizarre and almost seemed to make fun of her (can't say here because it would definitely out me but think something like "most likely to dig in the dirt alone" - actually, it's worse than that but can't think of a good analogy at the moment). The other kids got things like: kindest, hardest worker, computer whiz, etc. Basically it was the teacher reinforcing that she is a strange kid. This whole year was a struggle socially and to cap it off with something that was basically making fun of her broke my heart. We are going to talk to the counselor about it in the fall in the context of trying to improve the social aspect next year.

[Anonymous]

I just assume that my kid is going to get this award at some point. (Either that or drama queen.) She loves clothes and accessories. She also loves sports and science and art and music, so the fact that she is my little girlie-girl fashionista is cool with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just assume that my kid is going to get this award at some point. (Either that or drama queen.) She loves clothes and accessories. She also loves sports and science and art and music, so the fact that she is my little girlie-girl fashionista is cool with me.

It's not cool with me. I do not want my sons OR daughters to see that ability rewarded and stereotype reinforced in SCHOOL of all places. Keep that at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the awards-for-everyone is a TERRIBLE idea. This year, my daughter brought home an award that was completely bizarre and almost seemed to make fun of her (can't say here because it would definitely out me but think something like "most likely to dig in the dirt alone" - actually, it's worse than that but can't think of a good analogy at the moment). The other kids got things like: kindest, hardest worker, computer whiz, etc. Basically it was the teacher reinforcing that she is a strange kid. This whole year was a struggle socially and to cap it off with something that was basically making fun of her broke my heart. We are going to talk to the counselor about it in the fall in the context of trying to improve the social aspect next year.

Yes, and don't forget to mention that the awards thing SUCKS. Really, they should just do away with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the awards-for-everyone is a TERRIBLE idea. This year, my daughter brought home an award that was completely bizarre and almost seemed to make fun of her (can't say here because it would definitely out me but think something like "most likely to dig in the dirt alone" - actually, it's worse than that but can't think of a good analogy at the moment). The other kids got things like: kindest, hardest worker, computer whiz, etc. Basically it was the teacher reinforcing that she is a strange kid. This whole year was a struggle socially and to cap it off with something that was basically making fun of her broke my heart. We are going to talk to the counselor about it in the fall in the context of trying to improve the social aspect next year.

Yes, and don't forget to mention that the awards thing SUCKS. Really, they should just do away with it.

Jeez. I went to a Montessori until 4th grade and never had anything like this EVER in my elementary grade experience. It's astonishing that people think this is "cute" or even appropriate, and, wow, does it ever invite opportunity for extremely poor judgment. Really BAD. It'd be good for the school leadership to know how sh!tty this is.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with being a fashionista as long as your grades are up?

[Anonymous]

I think that people are generally w-a-y too self important these days. Some kids have a knack for fashion to the point that it is a noticeable talent and a part of their persona. What the heck is wrong with recognizing that talent with a reward?

You can be smart, athletic, beautiful AND a fashionable fashionista...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just assume that my kid is going to get this award at some point. (Either that or drama queen.) She loves clothes and accessories. She also loves sports and science and art and music, so the fact that she is my little girlie-girl fashionista is cool with me.

It's not cool with me. I do not want my sons OR daughters to see that ability rewarded and stereotype reinforced in SCHOOL of all places. Keep that at home.

What on earth is wrong with rewarding that ability, for boys or for girls?

If fashion was important to my child and they were acknowleged or recognized for that interest, I would be proud for them. It is no more frivolous tuan recognizing a child for being good at soccer or art or any number of other interests that might matter to them. Just because you hate the idea doesn't mean it is not important to your child.