If your 1st grade daughter won the "fashionista" award at school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be a little miffed. I've spent many years trying to teach mine that "It's what's on the inside that counts" and "We don't judge people's bodies and appearance," etc., and then they get recognized for appearance. Did any boys receive similar award recognition for their looks?

Fashionista is not about her appearance. It is about style. Two different things. You can be a plain jane or jim, and have an impeccable sense of style. And you can be gorgeous and have no sense of style, proportion, artistry, color and balance. Fashionista indicates a skill that has nothing to do with physical appearance..

And before you say that then it is all about mom and not the kid, well so is most organized, perfect attendance, healthiest eater, top reading log and a whole host of other made up awards created so everyone walks away with something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be a little miffed. I've spent many years trying to teach mine that "It's what's on the inside that counts" and "We don't judge people's bodies and appearance," etc., and then they get recognized for appearance. Did any boys receive similar award recognition for their looks?

Fashionista is not about her appearance. It is about style. Two different things. You can be a plain jane or jim, and have an impeccable sense of style. And you can be gorgeous and have no sense of style, proportion, artistry, color and balance. Fashionista indicates a skill that has nothing to do with physical appearance..

And before you say that then it is all about mom and not the kid, well so is most organized, perfect attendance, healthiest eater, top reading log and a whole host of other made up awards created so everyone walks away with something.

That's not what I would say at all-- I would think that everyone knows most of the awards at that age are "all about" the caregivers and what the caregivers value. Style and fashion skill is just not what I tend to value, based on what I said earlier. I never meant to incinuate that others couldn't feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blonde hair (especially white blonde) is ugly to me so I disagree with the "typically pretty" comment. Very narrow-minded. I especially dislike long blonde hair because it is usually very thin.

It really creeps me out that the kid and her mom think that her hair color is something important. I get the individual sense of style but not the hair color.

New poster here but i have a daughter with long blond hair and am brunette myself and have 2 other brunette daughters.
My blond daughter gets 10 times the attention then my 2 dark haired daughters do (not male attention as they're all in elementary school but just attention period)
People are obsessed with blond hair. They are continually commenting on it.
I never knew this (as someone with dark hair).
It's sort of freaky actually.

Yes, there is a girl in my son's class who is pretty and has blond hair. She gets so much more attention than equally pretty brunette girls. It's kind of weird. If I had a daughter, I don't think I would want her to have blond hair for this reason.

[Anonymous]

I would not like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blonde hair (especially white blonde) is ugly to me so I disagree with the "typically pretty" comment. Very narrow-minded. I especially dislike long blonde hair because it is usually very thin.

It really creeps me out that the kid and her mom think that her hair color is something important. I get the individual sense of style but not the hair color.

+1,000,000 on all counts.

What the hell sexist and racist schools are these where teachers are giving out fashionista awards and acclaiming blonde hair?

[Anonymous]

Hi! Op here. Thanks for your opinions. This was actually not my daughter, just a schoolmate. I was as appalled as some of you are, but wanted to see if I was blowing it out of proportion (in my mind). I still think it was very inappropriate and trivialized the little girl. Can't name the school, sorry. Not a public school though, so rest easy public school parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! Op here. Thanks for your opinions. This was actually not my daughter, just a schoolmate. I was as appalled as some of you are, but wanted to see if I was blowing it out of proportion (in my mind). I still think it was very inappropriate and trivialized the little girl. Can't name the school, sorry. Not a public school though, so rest easy public school parents.

Wow -- that's even worse. People are paying good money for that BS. OP, glad it wasn't your dd subjected to that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

My daughter would have loved to win an award like that - she considers herself to be a fashionista and wants to be a fashion designer, veterinarian, and rock star when she grows up. I do not have a single fashionista bone in my body: I always wear black, and I mostly wear pants. My daughter hates the way I dress and the fact that I don't wear makeup, so she certainly wasn't influenced by my style.

I wouldn't read too much into the award. It's not going to influence the child one way or the other. My daughter is now a rising 5th grader and discovered that she's really good in math and science despite her love of fashion.

[Anonymous]

Kind of an offshoot, but did you or DH watch the US Open yesterday?

The FOX female interviewer asked the winner---who might have needed to play today, a 5th day, in the event of a playoff---if he packed A 5TH OUTFIT TO WEAR JUST IN CASE??!!

[Anonymous]

I would follow the kid's lead and try and figure out how they took the award. If they see it as praise for their creativity, that's different than if they think the way they dress determines the attention they should get.

as for mom of the blonde girl and those defending her, WOW. I was brunette at that age and VERY, VERY conscious that that made me less pretty than if I'd been blonde. I couldn't even relate to blonde characters or dolls because they seemed so different from me. It's not that anyone ever said or implied that brunette was not pretty, it's that SO MANY images of beauty were blonde. I was not a dumb kid and could easily read between the lines: "your looks are less desirable." I guess the world is still sending that message loud and clear to little girls. What a shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think superlative awards, even in high school, are just plain awful. They are giant labels and many people take them to heart. The idea that a teacher is giving out labels at all is insane to me.

I know they are meant in fun, but I think their intent and their actual impact are very different.

I don't necessarily agree. At that age, when everyone gets one, kids are happy to be awarded with something. I'm definitely not in the camp of everyone deserves a trophy, but when you see the big smiles of the kids who aren't used to being positively rewarded, it's pretty satisfying. At our school's assembly, they had a "Best Class Participant" award and the boy who won had a big ol' grin on his face and was ready to pose for pictures upon receiving his certificate. His "success" didn't make anyone feel bad because they all received positive awards too (Best at Math Facts, Most Caring, Future Author, Best Teammate, etc...). Everyone was smiling and happy...what's wrong with that?

The problem is exactly what OP is experiencing- she's now trying to interpret what this award meant. Does it mean her kid is too dumb to have been awarded an academic prize? Does it mean her kid is too focused on clothing? Does it mean her kid is now being rewarded in a sexist manner? And you can bet these thoughts are going through her kid's head too.

It's been awhile since I was a first grader, but I don't think I would have spent the first day of my summer vacation analyzing the silly paper plate award I won. OP, it probably just means your daughter wears cute clothes. It doesn't mean she's not good at math, or is an otherwise bad kid. I think it will be OK.

See 13:11.

Right. I guess the difference is I was bright enough to know what a guinea pig was by the time I was 7.

You must have gotten the "meanest girl" award!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! Op here. Thanks for your opinions. This was actually not my daughter, just a schoolmate. I was as appalled as some of you are, but wanted to see if I was blowing it out of proportion (in my mind). I still think it was very inappropriate and trivialized the little girl. Can't name the school, sorry. Not a public school though, so rest easy public school parents.

Doesn't just trivialize the little girl who won the fashionista award, but trivializes ALL girls by elevating something of value that is really shallow -- how one looks -- and probably acquires money to achieve (to buy nice clothes).

I'm appalled at how sexist this award is and that it was given out at the 1st grade level. Just goes to show how girls/women are steered to focus on their appearance from a very early age. So sad. Definitely worth bringing to the attention of the principal.

[Anonymous]

OMG ARE YOU ME?

DD just got frigging "FASHIONISTA" for her pre-school graduation and I just about died!!!

The students wear uniforms to school, people. WTF?

I left the ceremony, completely pissed off. Another mom saw me in the hall and commiserated. DS's certificate hangs by his bed years later, is colorful and so terribly sweet.

It's only been a few days and I can't tell you where it is.

Fashionista my ass.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Honestly Op, if feel 1. I've fucked up and 2. Gotta find a new school because any one that's handing that shit out is deplorable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blonde hair (especially white blonde) is ugly to me so I disagree with the "typically pretty" comment. Very narrow-minded. I especially dislike long blonde hair because it is usually very thin.

It really creeps me out that the kid and her mom think that her hair color is something important. I get the individual sense of style but not the hair color.

+1,000,000 on all counts.

What the hell sexist and racist schools are these where teachers are giving out fashionista awards and acclaiming blonde hair?

Really? Because people have unfortunate tendencies to "celebrate" blonde hair, you think it's okay to say blonde hair is "ugly" to you? And, that you dislike blonde hair because it's typically very "thin?"

So, it's okay to value thick hair, and it's okay to diss hair color as long as the color you're dissing is blonde (and stringy?)

You sound like a total jerk.