What is your sleepover policy for your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only had one for daughter and my DH and both sons stayed in a hotel for night because we did not want even a hint of impropriety. Never again.

O.M.F.G.

[Anonymous]

My policy? Provided I know the parents, you can go to a Saturday night sleepover, but I will pick you up no later than 8:30 a.m. and you will go to church with us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My policy? Provided I know the parents, you can go to a Saturday night sleepover, but I will pick you up no later than 8:30 a.m. and you will go to church with us!

Ugh, that sounds miserable. Sleepovers are all about staying up late, sleeping late, etc. Just let the kid sleep and pick up on the way home from church. If you were my parent I'd be rejecting both you AND the religion you're trying to force.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only had one for daughter and my DH and both sons stayed in a hotel for night because we did not want even a hint of impropriety. Never again.

If a parent told me "We'd love for Larla to sleep over. To avoid even a hint of impropriety, DH and my sons will sleep at a hotel during the sleepover." then that alone would be so weird that I would not allow the sleepover. That's just so freaking weird. PP, stay strong and don't get sucked into the paranoia. What do you think it taught your sons to be thought of as potential rapists rather than be thought of as responsible boys who a girl can turn to if she's ever in trouble. I encourage my daughters to make friends with nice boys, specifically so they'll have male allies in their group of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. Everyone is waiting to molest your child. EVERYONE.

Keep your head in the sand. That protects your child

Friend, I understand that this is your mission. I'm guessing you have gone through something terrible and I am truly sorry about that. But there is a big difference between making life decisions based on reasonable precautions, and "keeping your head in the sand."

But I know you don't care what I think because only your worldview is correct. You prove that by posting incessantly anytime this topic comes up. You are right and the rest of us are idiots who don't care about our kids.

What is wrong with you? It is more than one person posting say this- not just whoever you are responding to. It is not just ONE crazy person posting each time this topic comes up saying it is a concern. Perhaps, you want to believe that because it makes your position seem more reasonable (??).

What is wrong with me? Nothing. You are the one that seems upset here. I never called anyone crazy. And I understand that there are probably a couple of people posting about this. But as a DCUM reader, I also know that everytime this topic comes up, there is someone who posts the same stories and the same rhetoric, using the same phrases, including keeping "your head in the sand." So yes, I believe I am addressing someone who posts on here a lot.

I don't need to make my position seem more reasonable. It is reasonable to take precautions. It is reasonable to have different opinions on what those precautions should be. It is not reasonable to imply that anyone who does not agree with your worldview does not care about protecting their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only had one for daughter and my DH and both sons stayed in a hotel for night because we did not want even a hint of impropriety. Never again.

If a parent told me "We'd love for Larla to sleep over. To avoid even a hint of impropriety, DH and my sons will sleep at a hotel during the sleepover." then that alone would be so weird that I would not allow the sleepover. That's just so freaking weird. PP, stay strong and don't get sucked into the paranoia. What do you think it taught your sons to be thought of as potential rapists rather than be thought of as responsible boys who a girl can turn to if she's ever in trouble. I encourage my daughters to make friends with nice boys, specifically so they'll have male allies in their group of friends.

Seriously. That is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard. I would definitely not socialize with a family who feels the need to go to such extremes.

[Anonymous]

DS was 5 or 6 when his best friend's parents asked us to take their son for the weekend so they could go to a retreat. That started a pattern with us switching off sleepovers when ever one family had some event (wedding, birth of a baby, just because it's Saturday, etc). It was awesome free babysitting while we each only had one child........that has changed for both of our families.

[Anonymous]

We're not having them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My policy? Provided I know the parents, you can go to a Saturday night sleepover, but I will pick you up no later than 8:30 a.m. and you will go to church with us!

Ugh, that sounds miserable. Sleepovers are all about staying up late, sleeping late, etc. Just let the kid sleep and pick up on the way home from church. If you were my parent I'd be rejecting both you AND the religion you're trying to force.

Frankly, you sound miserable.

My kids are invited to sleepovers all. the. time. Every few weekends, sometimes several consecutive weekends, given the birthday party schedule, getting together after big schools events, etc. I'm all for sleepovers, but will not let them drive our weekend schedule, nor let them get in the way of things that we do on a regular basis. Would you also tell your child that s/he didn't have to do homework this weekend, for example, because of the "staying up late and sleeping in?"

If you were my parent, I'd be wishing for a little more parental guidance in my life.

[Anonymous]

My son is 5 (almost 6) and we have talked extensively about inappropriate touching and what to do if an adult tries. I wouldn't worry about molestation at a sleepover. If a friend's parent was out to molest him, they could do it just as easily at a daytime play date. I would still not allow him to go on a sleepover yet, because he is too immature and would get overexcited and be a giant pain in the neck for the parents. We'll see how he matures and reevaluate as he does.

[Anonymous]

Provided I know the parents, you can go to a Saturday night sleepover, but I will pick you up no later than 8:30 a.m. and you will go to church with us!

You absolutely have the right to impose whatever rules you want for your own kid, but it just would not work out for our family to host a child that would need to be up and out by 8:30, given the time that kids tend to go to sleep at sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No sleepovers for my DS or my DD for as long as possible. I suspect I'll have to cave at 13.

We have had invitations since they were 4 and 5 - always from only children.

What a weird post.

[Anonymous]

I think any major rule you made while pregnant (and not yet a parent) should be reconsidered as time goes on.

You know your child best, can he handle it at 8 years old?

My first sleep over was in kindergarten, so I think I was about 6. I had a hard time when I was that young, but then my mom would just come get me. By 7 or 8, I was totally fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are my best memories growing up. You all are crazy for not letting your kid have them.

Mine too. I hosted my first in 1st grade I still remember it ! I probably went to or hosted at least 1 sleepover per month from 1st- 10th grade. So much fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only had one for daughter and my DH and both sons stayed in a hotel for night because we did not want even a hint of impropriety. Never again.

If a parent told me "We'd love for Larla to sleep over. To avoid even a hint of impropriety, DH and my sons will sleep at a hotel during the sleepover." then that alone would be so weird that I would not allow the sleepover. That's just so freaking weird. PP, stay strong and don't get sucked into the paranoia. What do you think it taught your sons to be thought of as potential rapists rather than be thought of as responsible boys who a girl can turn to if she's ever in trouble. I encourage my daughters to make friends with nice boys, specifically so they'll have male allies in their group of friends.

Seriously. That is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard. I would definitely not socialize with a family who feels the need to go to such extremes.

+1 This is just bizarre.

I only did a couple sleepovers my whole childhood, not because my parents had a problem with it but because I was extremely shy and had few friends. DD (10) and DS (11) both have a couple very close friends and we know their parents well. Probably 2x a month one of them has a sleepover, either at our house or a friends. We've had all the talks about good/bad touch and I have to trust that my instincts about their friends' parents are correct. The alternative is to live in fear and for them to miss out on a joyful part of American childhood.

I think we first had requests fro sleepovers around age 6 but the kids really weren't ready for it then. DD had a "half-sleepover" for her 6th birthday -- a couple friends came over and stayed up really late but then went home for bed. They both were really comfortable staying over at about 9 yrs. DS still doesn't like large sleepover parties because it's too noisy and he can't get to sleep so for those, he'll generally have me pick him up very late.