What is your sleepover policy for your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 8 is too young. I don't know what age it will be, but it will only be with families that we know well. We go to camp with our scouting troop and sleepovers as well 2 or 3 times a year, so I don't think I am depriving my dd's of the experience. And sleepaway camp - never except of course scouting because I can't afford it.

The xpereince is totally different when the parent is there. I am not saying you shoudl do something you are not comfortable with but taking your kid on a camping trip is totally different than a sleepover with a friend.

[Anonymous]

This happened at a slumber party for 10 year olds-
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/22-years-for-michael-gardner-in-sexual-battery-case/2012/09/07/a9162c9e-f911-11e1-8398-0327ab83ab91_story.html

Its certainly enough to give me pause about my kids going to slumber parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you wouldn't want to help your kids grow into capable independent adults. Sleepovers are great way to start. Let it be with a family that you know, or have friends in common and that your kid is comfortable with and let go!

Because they could be molested... that is the concern.

They could be molested, or just exposed to situations that you do not want them exposed to at a young age. There is a big difference between age 5 and age 10 for sleepovers. A 5 year old is not going to know how to navigate a problem. A 10 + year old will be better suited to manage a problem. Some people don't want to acknowledge that for some reason???

But when your kid is 12 and has no experience making decisions and other kids are getting into trouble, your 12 year old won't have a clue what to do, whereas my child will have experience dealing with problems which have been kept on a small scale because they have spent time with trusted friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. Everyone is waiting to molest your child. EVERYONE.

Keep your head in the sand. That protects your child

Friend, I understand that this is your mission. I'm guessing you have gone through something terrible and I am truly sorry about that. But there is a big difference between making life decisions based on reasonable precautions, and "keeping your head in the sand."

But I know you don't care what I think because only your worldview is correct. You prove that by posting incessantly anytime this topic comes up. You are right and the rest of us are idiots who don't care about our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 8 is too young. I don't know what age it will be, but it will only be with families that we know well. We go to camp with our scouting troop and sleepovers as well 2 or 3 times a year, so I don't think I am depriving my dd's of the experience. And sleepaway camp - never except of course scouting because I can't afford it.

The xpereince is totally different when the parent is there. I am not saying you shoudl do something you are not comfortable with but taking your kid on a camping trip is totally different than a sleepover with a friend.

Well my kids have not been invited to a sleepover yet anyway. I never went on sleepovers. Maybe I just don't get it because of that. We are not just going camping, we are with a group of scouts, and for the most part, I am not leading my dd's. As leaders, we have other moms interact with our dd's so that it isn't a family camping trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened at a slumber party for 10 year olds-
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/22-years-for-michael-gardner-in-sexual-battery-case/2012/09/07/a9162c9e-f911-11e1-8398-0327ab83ab91_story.html

Its certainly enough to give me pause about my kids going to slumber parties.

That would certainly give me pause, but so does the thought of someone shooting up my kids' schools. Yet, I don't stop them from going to school, or riding their bikes around the neighborhood by themselves. I refuse to live in fear.

[Anonymous]

This is a personal story, but it has shaped my parenting choices. I went to a small Catholic School in NoVA. Once classroom per grade, all the kids and parents knew each other. I was invited to a sleepover at my friend's home. He mom was the PTA something or other and both my parents knew them well enough. At my friend's house we were rarely supervised, my friend was allowed to lock her bedroom door. She also knew where her father kept his porn stash, and that is how I learned about the birds and the bees. And it wasn't light stuff, it was violent S&M stuff (magazines). I was so embarrassed I never told my mom and I know my other friend never told her mom either. Just because you think everything went fine and dandy, doesn't mean your kids told you everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a personal story, but it has shaped my parenting choices. I went to a small Catholic School in NoVA. Once classroom per grade, all the kids and parents knew each other. I was invited to a sleepover at my friend's home. He mom was the PTA something or other and both my parents knew them well enough. At my friend's house we were rarely supervised, my friend was allowed to lock her bedroom door. She also knew where her father kept his porn stash, and that is how I learned about the birds and the bees. And it wasn't light stuff, it was violent S&M stuff (magazines). I was so embarrassed I never told my mom and I know my other friend never told her mom either. Just because you think everything went fine and dandy, doesn't mean your kids told you everything.

I'm this PP, I was in 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

Do those who oppose sleep overs also oppose drop off play dates? Can't horrible things also happen if your child is dropped off at a friends house for a couple hours or for dinner? Where is one supposed to draw the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. Everyone is waiting to molest your child. EVERYONE.

Keep your head in the sand. That protects your child

Friend, I understand that this is your mission. I'm guessing you have gone through something terrible and I am truly sorry about that. But there is a big difference between making life decisions based on reasonable precautions, and "keeping your head in the sand."

But I know you don't care what I think because only your worldview is correct. You prove that by posting incessantly anytime this topic comes up. You are right and the rest of us are idiots who don't care about our kids.

What is wrong with you? It is more than one person posting say this- not just whoever you are responding to. It is not just ONE crazy person posting each time this topic comes up saying it is a concern. Perhaps, you want to believe that because it makes your position seem more reasonable (??).

[Anonymous]

This is not something you plan out far ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you wouldn't want to help your kids grow into capable independent adults. Sleepovers are great way to start. Let it be with a family that you know, or have friends in common and that your kid is comfortable with and let go!

Because they could be molested... that is the concern.

They could be molested, or just exposed to situations that you do not want them exposed to at a young age. There is a big difference between age 5 and age 10 for sleepovers. A 5 year old is not going to know how to navigate a problem. A 10 + year old will be better suited to manage a problem. Some people don't want to acknowledge that for some reason???

But when your kid is 12 and has no experience making decisions and other kids are getting into trouble, your 12 year old won't have a clue what to do, whereas my child will have experience dealing with problems which have been kept on a small scale because they have spent time with trusted friends.

I never was allowed to do sleepovers and as a 12 year old was allowed to take the NYC subway alone to school. The not doing sleepovers did not hinder my ability to think or defend myself or make me less able to deal with trouble. Also, it is inconsistent to say that NOTHING will happen to your kid at a sleepover AND say that sending them to sleepovers will teach them how to fend for themselves when they get into trouble. I thought sleepovers were totally safe? What trouble would they be learning to avoid? Also a 5 year is not as able to protect themselves as a 10 year old.

[Anonymous]

Only had one for daughter and my DH and both sons stayed in a hotel for night because we did not want even a hint of impropriety. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Both DDs were allowed sleepovers w cousins and a very close (my best friend growing up is the mom) family friend with daughters their ages from 6-10 years old. At 10 years old we've allowed sleep overs with friends from school whose families know fairly well. Thats it. We've declined several invites from families we only know in passing.

Both DDs have girlfriends whose parents dont allow sleepovers at all at any age. They are allowed over but picked up by about 11pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. Everyone is waiting to molest your child. EVERYONE.

Keep your head in the sand. That protects your child

Friend, I understand that this is your mission. I'm guessing you have gone through something terrible and I am truly sorry about that. But there is a big difference between making life decisions based on reasonable precautions, and "keeping your head in the sand."

But I know you don't care what I think because only your worldview is correct. You prove that by posting incessantly anytime this topic comes up. You are right and the rest of us are idiots who don't care about our kids.

What is wrong with you? It is more than one person posting say this- not just whoever you are responding to. It is not just ONE crazy person posting each time this topic comes up saying it is a concern. Perhaps, you want to believe that because it makes your position seem more reasonable (??).

Thank you for posting this.

PP for your information, nothing happened to me. But a sister was molested at age 3 by a trusted neighbor's husband, and to several other people. In addition a trusted friend was busted and went to jail for possession of child p*rn. Never in a million years would you have suspected. It happens more often than you think.