What is your sleepover policy for your children?

Anonymous
My husband and I spoke about this when I was pregnant with my first. We thought 12 was a good sleepover age, mature and strong enough to speak up in case something was off. My oldest son is only 8 and suddenly we have received 3 sleepover invitations. We know the parents socially (team parents, classmates), they seem like solid families. We have dropped off our son at their homes and their children have come to our home many times for play dates (2-4 hours). But sleepovers never. Do you think 12 is too high an age? My parents were very strict and didn't let me sleepover until I was a freshman in high school and they knew my friend's parents for years. My husbands's parents were more lenient, but I keep thinking about my 5 and 3 year old little girls. If we let their brother sleep over at 8, they'll want to do the same at that age. Sigh.
Anonymous
Not sure what you are saying? You are concerned about your young daughters, but not your son? FYI, Boys can be molested just as much as girls.
Anonymous
8 is definitely old enough. I would think first sleepovers happen between 5-7 years old.

And yes, whatever limit you impose on your son should be the same for daughters. Trust your daughters and talk about stranger danger.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:8 is definitely old enough. I would think first sleepovers happen between 5-7 years old.

And yes, whatever limit you impose on your son should be the same for daughters. Trust your daughters and talk about stranger danger.


Just be sure that you emphasize that the danger is almost never a "stranger." It is a parent, a relative, a cousin, a teacher, a coach, camp counselor - the abuser is almost always someone whom the child knows and is supposed to trust.
Anonymous
My son started sleepovers with his friend from preschool at age 5. He has been going to sleepaway camp since he was 8. Waiting until age 12 seems overly cautious.
Anonymous
We allow sleepovers with kids whose families we know well, or sometimes for birthday parties if we know at least 1 or 2 of DC's close friends will be there. I only have boys, but I don't see how the policy would be any different in my house if we had girls.
Anonymous
We have let our daughter do two sleepovers at age 7 with two different friends from school who were hosting winter birthday parties at a hotel with an indoor pool. The adults were all women, moms and aunts. My 6 year old could probably do a sleepover at her best friend's house, but she hasn't wanted to yet. Her best friend tried it and couldn't sleep, she missed her mommy too much so the Dad came and picked her up. I would be mostly worried about unknown male adults or older kids who might be sharing the house. It would really depend on the family.
Anonymous
Kids are 5 & 4. Our policy is anyone who will take them away for a night without charging us!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My son started sleepovers with his friend from preschool at age 5. He has been going to sleepaway camp since he was 8. Waiting until age 12 seems overly cautious.


A 5 year old doing sleepovers? Can't even imagine this, but my kids aren't used to be left with random adults.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Not sure what you are saying? You are concerned about your young daughters, but not your son? FYI, Boys can be molested just as much as girls.


+1
Anonymous
I was allowed to go on sleepovers when I was 6. It's the same for our kids. Premise is that we know the family well enough to have enough trust to say yes but so far no issues.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Not sure what you are saying? You are concerned about your young daughters, but not your son? FYI, Boys can be molested just as much as girls.


More so, in fact.
Anonymous
No sleepovers for my DS or my DD for as long as possible. I suspect I'll have to cave at 13.

We have had invitations since they were 4 and 5 - always from only children.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son started sleepovers with his friend from preschool at age 5. He has been going to sleepaway camp since he was 8. Waiting until age 12 seems overly cautious.


A 5 year old doing sleepovers? Can't even imagine this, but my kids aren't used to be left with random adults.


My kids aren't used to being left with random adults either. They are however ok with spending the night with close family members and friends.
Anonymous
Life is what's happening while you're busy making other plans.
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