What's so bad about living in sin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not 'bad' to 'live in sin', but clearly marriage has its benefits or you would not have all the fuss about marriage equality/gay marriage.

I have seen many friends poo poo marriage and just live with BF/GF until they found what they thought was 'the one', left GF/BF and then they were all too ready to tie the knot.
Just make sure the motives are clear for both of you.

Thank God they figured out they weren't right for each other before marrying.
Plenty of couples don't live together, get married and are miserable 3 years later because they found out that their spouse is addicted to porn and refuses to lift a finger in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My longterm relationship is just as committed, fulfilling and important as any marriage.

I'm sure it is emotionally, socially, etc. but you are not gaining the financial and legal benefits you get with marriage. That's why gays have fought to get the right to marry.

And for some those benefits are not worth it to them.

Except for gay people, who have been fighting for these rights for years. Would it matter to you if you were unable to visit your long-term partner in the hospital because you are not legal next of kin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My longterm relationship is just as committed, fulfilling and important as any marriage.

I'm sure it is emotionally, socially, etc. but you are not gaining the financial and legal benefits you get with marriage. That's why gays have fought to get the right to marry.

And for some those benefits are not worth it to them.

Except for gay people, who have been fighting for these rights for years. Would it matter to you if you were unable to visit your long-term partner in the hospital because you are not legal next of kin?

No, because I'm not gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My longterm relationship is just as committed, fulfilling and important as any marriage.

I'm sure it is emotionally, socially, etc. but you are not gaining the financial and legal benefits you get with marriage. That's why gays have fought to get the right to marry.

And for some those benefits are not worth it to them.

Except for gay people, who have been fighting for these rights for years. Would it matter to you if you were unable to visit your long-term partner in the hospital because you are not legal next of kin?

No, because I'm not gay.

WTF? Gay or not, if your partner is hospitalized unconscious and cannot give consent for you to visit, you would not be allowed to see that person until a legal next of kin (parent or sibling) gave consent. You would not be allowed to make any legal or medical decisions for your partner. This doesn't matter to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time and time again, I see such strong reactions on DCUM to people who say they live with a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't plan to marry.
If they are ok with it, why do people have such a problem with it?
Why isn't it ok to live your life with someone without marriage?

Because it is a symptom of a bigger problem: The inability to grow up, make a decision and be accountable for one's life.

Why do you get to decide that only marriage will lead to people growing up, making decisions and being accountable for their lives?
This is the most ridiculous statement EVER!!
You cannot tell me that the twits who get married after a few months or a year of dating (happens all the time!) are more responible or grown up than a couple who has been in a loving, monogomous relationship for 10 years.

It's not marriage that leads people to growing up. To make a marriage work, they have to be grown ups, make a decision to be in a committed (legal) relationship and take accountability for making that decision work. That is the point: the growing up comes first, the "twits" that you are referring to notwithstanding. But yes, there is something amiss about a couple who has been in a loving, monogomous relationship for 10 years, if they cannot pull the trigger on making it permanent. One person ALWAYS has at least a foot out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time and time again, I see such strong reactions on DCUM to people who say they live with a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't plan to marry.
If they are ok with it, why do people have such a problem with it?
Why isn't it ok to live your life with someone without marriage?

Because it is a symptom of a bigger problem: The inability to grow up, make a decision and be accountable for one's life.

Why do you get to decide that only marriage will lead to people growing up, making decisions and being accountable for their lives?
This is the most ridiculous statement EVER!!
You cannot tell me that the twits who get married after a few months or a year of dating (happens all the time!) are more responible or grown up than a couple who has been in a loving, monogomous relationship for 10 years.

It's not marriage that leads people to growing up. To make a marriage work, they have to be grown ups, make a decision to be in a committed (legal) relationship and take accountability for making that decision work. That is the point: the growing up comes first, the "twits" that you are referring to notwithstanding. But yes, there is something amiss about a couple who has been in a loving, monogomous relationship for 10 years, if they cannot pull the trigger on making it permanent. One person ALWAYS has at least a foot out the door.

This is your opinion. It is not representative of most monogomous "non-legal" relationships I've encountered, including my own.
You can be married with one foot out the door. If a person is going to be a terrible partner, they'll be a terrible partner in a marriage or in a LTR. Marriage will not change a person into a suitable marriage partner. I'd rather be unmarried dealing with a breakup than married and dealing with a divorce.
Any successful longterm relationship, married or not, must include two adults who are accountable for their own actions and serious about their partnership.
You don't get to make those rules.

[Anonymous]

I view people who live in sin as low class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I view people who live in sin as low class.

You've got that reversed. It says way more about you than it does them.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that there's anything wrong with it per se, but as a few posters have noted, it can create a lot of relationship inertia. Things can drag on a lot longer than they would have if the couple wasn't living together. I've seen people end up married because it was easier than splitting up because they lived together. Your lives end up enmeshed in all these little, practical, logistical ways that are hard to unwind even when the emotional core is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that there's anything wrong with it per se, but as a few posters have noted, it can create a lot of relationship inertia. Things can drag on a lot longer than they would have if the couple wasn't living together. I've seen people end up married because it was easier than splitting up because they lived together. Your lives end up enmeshed in all these little, practical, logistical ways that are hard to unwind even when the emotional core is gone.

This makes zero sense!! Bad marriages can drag on MUCH longer because it is so costly and painful to deal with a divorce.

[Anonymous]

I went through a divorce. We got married because, hey, we live together and might as well get all those "legal protections"!

Yea. Would've been much cheaper to break up without lawyers, agreements, courts and judges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My longterm relationship is just as committed, fulfilling and important as any marriage.

I'm sure it is emotionally, socially, etc. but you are not gaining the financial and legal benefits you get with marriage. That's why gays have fought to get the right to marry.

And for some those benefits are not worth it to them.

Except for gay people, who have been fighting for these rights for years. Would it matter to you if you were unable to visit your long-term partner in the hospital because you are not legal next of kin?

No, because I'm not gay.

WTF? Gay or not, if your partner is hospitalized unconscious and cannot give consent for you to visit, you would not be allowed to see that person until a legal next of kin (parent or sibling) gave consent. You would not be allowed to make any legal or medical decisions for your partner. This doesn't matter to you?

Of course not. I married my husband, and I'm his legal next of kin, so hypotheticals are irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I view people who live in sin as low class.

Pretty much. It's not even a statement about them, really, but higher classes have a higher rate of marriage. It stands to reason that people will see you as lower class for not marrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I view people who live in sin as low class.

Pretty much. It's not even a statement about them, really, but higher classes have a higher rate of marriage. It stands to reason that people will see you as lower class for not marrying.

The only people who rate your "class" based on your marital status are classless people. You can consider yourself high class based on your income...but that doesn't mean you have any class at all. And this is a perfect example

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I view people who live in sin as low class.

Pretty much. It's not even a statement about them, really, but higher classes have a higher rate of marriage. It stands to reason that people will see you as lower class for not marrying.

The only people who rate your "class" based on your marital status are classless people. You can consider yourself high class based on your income...but that doesn't mean you have any class at all. And this is a perfect example

What are you talking about? Numerous studies have shown the that more wealthy and educated you are, the more likely you are to be married.