Complicated holidays at the in laws'

[Anonymous]

Op, I get what you're saying. Kind of in the same boat here, but with just one dd. it's hard to be a good guest, a parent, wrap gifts, shop for gifts, help clean and cook and do all of this without the comforts of home with ten other people in the house. I too am hoping it gets better.

[Anonymous]

The way you're explaining it does sound pretty petty, so I understand why you're getting flamed, but I also see what you're trying to say. A vacation with kids is not a vacation. The grandparents are parenting you by being gracious hosts. And they are grandparenting your kids by enjoying them. The SIL is playing aunt and doesn't have to parent.

Last night at dinner everyone was enjoying themselves at at our little end of the table it was "tushy down" "use your fork" "don't touch mommy's wine" etc etc etc. We did not fully enjoy the wonderful dinner. But that's how it is going to go for a few years. Once in a while someone will say "let me hold the baby so you can eat" but thats the exception not the rule.

You can absolutely ask for help so you can shower/run/pee, but you're the parents. Yes, sometimes that sucks. But your parents have already been through it and your sister has not chosen that life yet.

I 100% understand your frustration, but this is how life is at this stage. Remember too that all the people posting on Facebook about kids and Christmas magic also are enjoying little snippets here and there but are mostly managing the crazy and directing traffic and not peeing in peace either.

[Anonymous]

Op you are in the very hard phase of toddlerhood. Going home early might be the best. Most people forget this phase of life. It's like child birth. Thankfully forgotten. So no they probably won't beach help. Sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws, especially my MIL, are awesome. They go out of their way to make our lives easier in general - we're in FL for a week and they've given up their bedroom for us because it has more floor space for the pack n play, made early dinner reservations to accommodate our (very young and very rambunctious) boys, etc.

The issue is that they just aren't really helping with the kids. SIL and her husband (recently married, no kids) are on vacation here too, which I totally get. That said, I'd love to just have half an hour to go for a walk with DH, get a run in, etc. but while they ACCOMMODATE the boys (3 and 1) wonderfully - bought diapers and milk ahead of time, etc - it just seems like they're all going about their regular holiday while DH and I struggle to maintain control of non-sleeping, out of sorts little ones. There's been more than one time where both kids are fussing/running different directions/etc and MIL is, for example, doing dishes 3 feet away and BIL is on his phone - I'd just love for one of them to offer a hand!



This morning, SIL wasn't feeling well so MIL was basically begging her to go lie down; meanwhile DH and I haven't slept more than a few hours since we've been here and I'd love for MIL or SIL to just say "hey, let me take Billy for 20 minutes so you can shower." I do recognize that our children are our responsibility but it doesn't really make much sense for us to come when it is such a struggle for me and DH to maintain sanity. I love this family and they do a lot for us, but I just need a second to breathe! Any thoughts?

Hire a sitter. Be a problem solver and not a whiner.

[Anonymous]

Did the rest of the house sleep? I'm assuming your children were up crying since you only got a couple hours sleep.
Do you know if it disturbed anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, OP, you are really asking for a lot. They have already gone out if their way for you and it's not enough , to paraphase.
They are trying to host 6 people in their home , with all the food , dishes , towels, cleaning , organizing that involves and you are over there stomping you feet about how they aren't doing more .
Please stop

Seriously. They aren't your babysitters. Bring a nanny or quit whining.

[Anonymous]

OP- I don't get it. Granted, you have two and not one, but I just left from several days with family (all five of my dad's siblings, grandmother, stepmom, brother and sister) and never just assumed they would help out with the baby. If I needed help - was going to the bathroom or to do a chore - I would ask if someone could hold her. People were happy to oblige (she's adorable!) but I would never be frustrated that nobody offered to help. What's wrong with asking?

[Anonymous]

Wow! You bring three kids into someone's home, which is a huge disruption in case you didn't realize that, and expect them to babysit your kids. You had the three kids, Ms. Entitled. I liken this to my situation. I'm a grandma to six. When they visit, I buy groceries, organize transportation, set rooms up as best as possible (don't give up my room) and pay for a few family activities. Oh, and I pay for their flights. They take care of their children or pay for sitters, buy extras like souvenirs and make the evening meals.

[Anonymous]

Op,
I completely sympathize. Your post is bringing back memories of being desperate to get my kids and myself some sleep. A lot of people forget how desperate parents with young children can become when sleep deprived. All of us handle sleep deprivation differently. I understand your frustration. I refused to travel very far until my dc were older. Try asking your ils to give you a half hour of freedom.

Also I don't understand the pp who was chastising you for your run. Do what you need to do to keep your sanity. The trip to your ils does not mean you shouldn't take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

More kids than you can manage is never a good idea...

[Anonymous]

Seriously, why cant your husband watch a 3 and 1 yr old, while you run errands or whatever time you need for yourself. You sound like a pampered princess