Complicated holidays at the in laws'

[Anonymous]

My in laws, especially my MIL, are awesome. They go out of their way to make our lives easier in general - we're in FL for a week and they've given up their bedroom for us because it has more floor space for the pack n play, made early dinner reservations to accommodate our (very young and very rambunctious) boys, etc.

The issue is that they just aren't really helping with the kids. SIL and her husband (recently married, no kids) are on vacation here too, which I totally get. That said, I'd love to just have half an hour to go for a walk with DH, get a run in, etc. but while they ACCOMMODATE the boys (3 and 1) wonderfully - bought diapers and milk ahead of time, etc - it just seems like they're all going about their regular holiday while DH and I struggle to maintain control of non-sleeping, out of sorts little ones. There's been more than one time where both kids are fussing/running different directions/etc and MIL is, for example, doing dishes 3 feet away and BIL is on his phone - I'd just love for one of them to offer a hand!

This morning, SIL wasn't feeling well so MIL was basically begging her to go lie down; meanwhile DH and I haven't slept more than a few hours since we've been here and I'd love for MIL or SIL to just say "hey, let me take Billy for 20 minutes so you can shower." I do recognize that our children are our responsibility but it doesn't really make much sense for us to come when it is such a struggle for me and DH to maintain sanity. I love this family and they do a lot for us, but I just need a second to breathe! Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Have you actually asked for some help? Some people really need some specific requests. To mom in law:" Can you keep an eye on little Joey for 15 minutes while I shower and dry my hair"?

[Anonymous]

How is this different from your home? No guess you're thinking it should be a vacation?

Have you tried saying, "MIL, can you take billy for a minute?" Start small with "while I shower" and build up to going for a run or movie with DH. Some people aren't good about volunteering to help. You just need to learn to ask and direct. If they say no, well, that's a whole different story. But you should start by asking

[Anonymous]

Geez, OP, you are really asking for a lot. They have already gone out if their way for you and it's not enough , to paraphase.
They are trying to host 6 people in their home , with all the food , dishes , towels, cleaning , organizing that involves and you are over there stomping you feet about how they aren't doing more .
Please stop

[Anonymous]

FFS OP they have been running around per your own account for weeks and given up their room? Hosting 6 extra people in their home ?
And you have the gall to complain?

[Anonymous]

OP here - I more than appreciate all they have done. Seriously. I don't begrudge anything at all they've done - it's just that we desperately need some help with the little ones who are so out of their element. It's bad enough that DH wants to leave early - again, not because they haven't been great, but almost because they don't realize that it's taking all we have to just keep the kids and ourselves sane. Sorry if this is garbled !!

[Anonymous]

Some people have a LOT of nerve.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight: You come into their house, and they're gracious hosts. But you expect them to take over your kids so you get a break?

WTF?

[Anonymous]

Go home and next holiday host over at your house. If you want a babysitter, hire one.

[Anonymous]

Op your posts aren't farbled at all. You're just wrong and failing to listen to all of us here. They're already helping you. Go hire a babysitter. There are tons of Jewish ppl in florida and I'm sure some teen would be thrilled to earn some money to watch your kids for a couple of hours.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm wondering if they are overwhelmed and even annoyed at the chaos you have brought , to be blunt
It sounds like a horrible scene for to possibly elderly /older folks who have bent over backwards to accommodate you and you can't control your little ones
I know it's harsh but reading between the lines it sounds miserable and not at all fun for anyone else

[Anonymous]

To-two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, OP, you are really asking for a lot. They have already gone out if their way for you and it's not enough , to paraphase.
They are trying to host 6 people in their home , with all the food , dishes , towels, cleaning , organizing that involves and you are over there stomping you feet about how they aren't doing more .
Please stop

+1

[Anonymous]

OP - Your relatives aren't mind readers and they aren't your babysitters.

You seem very immature.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, very hard to explain. Understand your points! - OP