Complicated holidays at the in laws'

[Anonymous]

OP has a 1 and 3 yr old. This stage only lasts for a little while so you and DH need to suck it up.

- signed poster who is spending the holidays with 12 kids in the house. But they are all in elementary school and above and all manage to entertain each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get what you're saying. It could be a situation where "the village" helps out a bit with the actual childcare, so that you and your husband aren't totally frazzled. But you're not lucky that way and all you can do is hang in there. One day your kids will be older and it will be MUCH easier. And one day your BIL and SIL may have kids, and then they'll have s turn while you either relax or help: your choice!

+1!

[Anonymous]

Geez, OP has every right! Can't believe all the negativity. OP, just ask them to help you. I bet they would love to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I don't understand the vitriol on this thread."

You didn't see the entitlement and stupidity in OP's post?

No, she does not sound entitled, she sounds tired. You, on the other hand, sound bitter and miserable.

+1. I hated visiting my in-laws for holidays when my kids were younger. My in-laws are perfectly nice, but they never offered to help, and my SAH spouse viewed it as an opportunity to get a break from the kids and visit old neighbors and friends while I looked after the kids. I'd want the kids to be on their best behavior, but they'd get bored and act up far more than usual because their routines had been upset. It's gotten better as the kids got older, but usually I just prefer for my spouse to make a side trip home to visit her parents during the holidays. I take time off from work and the kids and I usually have a blast at home. If the in-laws really want to see their grandkids, they are welcome to come visit us.

[Anonymous]

Still don't get how two adults can't handle their two kids...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I don't understand the vitriol on this thread."

You didn't see the entitlement and stupidity in OP's post?

No, I see someone who is struggling and a bunch of posters who are enjoying being unkind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still don't get how two adults can't handle their two kids...

This. I hear parents who are overwhelmed by their own children all the time. What??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I don't understand the vitriol on this thread."

You didn't see the entitlement and stupidity in OP's post?

No, I see someone who is struggling and a bunch of posters who are enjoying being unkind.

She's struggling but expecting her hosts to make it all better in unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

Traveling with kids that age is a nightmare. Their sleep routines are completely messed up, you are all shoved in a room together and everyone is miserable. I am completely sympathetic to the OP. Traveling to grandparents or anywhere else is so not like being at home. Thankfully my kids are now 5 and 8 and traveling is fun again. My recommendation is not to travel until the kids are a bit older; it's not worth it!

[Anonymous]

Most of you (not Op) are insane and clearly eager for a scapegoat (now Op). Op, if you are still reading, ignore the haters. I understand completely what you are saying, and I have never walked in even close to your shoes because my parents and inlaws never accomodate us in any way nor do they offer help - but I can still see your point, and I can see your appreciation for your inlaws. My advice is that you just have to trudge through this time in life (with the help of a lot of coffee) and this, too, shall pass - before you know it your kids will be older and travelling with them will be easier. For now, from time to time I suggest you do overtly ask for someone to watch the kids while you shower or take a run or whatever, and they may surprise you by being happy to help when asked. Also, keep in mind your IL's side of the situation - they may be exhausted hosting you all for the week and not have much else to "give," and also they may be really happy to see their son not just their grandkids and want to spend time with you all (not just watching the grandkids so you and dh can catch a movie). GL.

[Anonymous]

There are two of you there to take care of the kids. Why would it occur to anyone that you need ANOTHER adult to take complete control of the kids to give one or the other of you a break?

[Anonymous]

Another one on team OP. Kids that age are nuts when you travel, plus you don't have their stuff to entertain them. I would skip the trip next year, and invite people to come to you. Much better.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, the general writing style of all the nasty PPs makes me wonder if they wandered in from Babycenter.

OP, it is not unreasonable to hope grandparents would give you a hand with the kids. Both sets of ours do and it's awesome! Makes us look forward to visits.

[Anonymous]

My goodness, OP.
My parents and ILs are both like this, very accommodating and generous. It had never occurred to me that they were at fault for not begging to watch my children!!!

[Anonymous]

Wow, you people are crazy and ott dramatic. OP is not entitled, acting like a princess, etc. I have a huge family and when we're together, we all help out with each others kids', grandparents included. Of course the inlaws are being super generous with accommodating OP but if she asks them to help out with a kid here and there, in no way does that make her entitled, smh.