Financial Value of SAHM Services

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a partnership where both partners bring diverse skills to the marriage. No apples to apples comparison.

In the end, the goal is to raise a healthy and happy family. How you achieve it depends on a lot of factors. Every family and situation is unique.

There are no guarantees of success either. Some women are SAHMs and have all the power in the relationship. Some women are high earning WOHMs and have no power. Some kids are on the path to self-destruction even though have SAHM moms, and then there are the high achievers who have working moms.

Husbands who cheat on attractive wives, husbands who are loyal to unattractive wives. No one has been able to find the right panacea for all the negativity. Nor we have found what really works and can be replicated without fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.

Luckily, I can be a wife and mother AND have paid employment too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, having just been divorced -- I can at least tell you how the court values your SAHM services economically: $0.00!! Married 22 years and worked for many before becoming SAHM. Even though I stayed home to raise the family and made many sacrifices to put DH's job first, I get no credit for that. Alimony is not the norm anymore as long as you are considered capable of working. So despite having made six figures before I quit working and only being able to get a job making $40K now because my skills are no longer relevant, I get nothing.

I was never a proponent of pre-nups before, but I will make sure that my daughters have some sort of pre-nup or post-nup if they ever decide to be SAHMs. I don't regret staying home -- it was wonderful for me and for my kids. However, if I had it to do over, I would continue working at least part-time to maintain my skills and contacts.

Your daughters don't need prenups, they need to keep working!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

why would you assume the working parent did nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a certain age, the value is more in the quality of life versus monetary.

Finally
I also don't understand this thread to compare SAHM vs Working mom economical value.Usually women who love their job don't leave it ,and most of SAHM are happy they can afford to stay home.In my case I am.I didn't love my job,I was so stressed all the time,became neurotic .I have a wonderful DH who offered me to SATH and do things I love( I opened small business which don't bring much $$$,but it's something I really enjoy and who knows where it's gonna go).
You cannot measure everything with $$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.

My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.

My value is being able to demonstrate what true love and devotion is

And the only way you could do that was to SAH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left my profession as a geriatrician more than a decade ago to support a household in which my significant other/spouse had a career which demanded many hours, travel, and eventually moves.

Shortly after I left my full-time practice, my SO received a job offer within the company, but in Europe. My spouse hesitated because - though they wanted to pursue the opportunity and the promotion - she or he worried about uprooting the children, finding new schools, selling our house, coordinating the move. I said "don't worry, take the job", and took that on myself.

We have since lived in Europe, Asia, San Francisco, and now New York, and each time my significant other has moved on to bigger and better jobs, and is now a well compensated, very Sr. Person in his or her field. The children, my spouse, and I have lived a life full of adjustments and the rewards of different experiences. And I have been there to help every step of the way.

Every time a friend asks my SO, "how did you know which moves to make?", my spouse offers this, "I didn't know which moves would help my career, or even how they would pan out, but I always knew that I had a supportive partner and family willing to make that move, and take that chance and adventure with me."

In the end, I do not think that you can place a value on the contributions to our family.

I'm not willing to give up my professional identity to further my spouse's career. The fact that you were benefits him/her but not necessarily the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.

Poor Mother Teresa. Who knew her calling was so low.

Bad example. She was an odious and horrible individual.

Compared to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

I would subtract value if the father did nothing kid related. I would put that in the extremely sad and pathetic category.

Of course most fathers do kid related things. That's called being a good father. However, if dad has a work trip, business dinner, happy hour event, etc. there is no hectic rearranging of work schedules or worrying about being fired for taking too many snow or sick days bc of kids.

I would say you're overblowing the hassle of juggling work schedules. DH and I have both worked full time as parents for 15 years. It's very rare that we're both busy, and never equally busy. We're white collar, so there's no issue of being fired for taking too many days off for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a certain age, the value is more in the quality of life versus monetary.

Finally
I also don't understand this thread to compare SAHM vs Working mom economical value.Usually women who love their job don't leave it ,and most of SAHM are happy they can afford to stay home.In my case I am.I didn't love my job,I was so stressed all the time,became neurotic .I have a wonderful DH who offered me to SATH and do things I love( I opened small business which don't bring much $$$,but it's something I really enjoy and who knows where it's gonna go).
You cannot measure everything with $$$.

Easy for you to say - all the stress you got rid of when you dumped your job is now on your H!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

I would subtract value if the father did nothing kid related. I would put that in the extremely sad and pathetic category.

Of course most fathers do kid related things. That's called being a good father. However, if dad has a work trip, business dinner, happy hour event, etc. there is no hectic rearranging of work schedules or worrying about being fired for taking too many snow or sick days bc of kids.

I would say you're overblowing the hassle of juggling work schedules. DH and I have both worked full time as parents for 15 years. It's very rare that we're both busy, and never equally busy. We're white collar, so there's no issue of being fired for taking too many days off for whatever reason.

Well you are maybe lucky?My DH works 7-9 most days,travels at least 1 week out the month and answer his phone even at thanksgiving dinner.I was out of town with kids and we had yo hire dog sitter for that time because he has no time even for our doggie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a certain age, the value is more in the quality of life versus monetary.

Finally
I also don't understand this thread to compare SAHM vs Working mom economical value.Usually women who love their job don't leave it ,and most of SAHM are happy they can afford to stay home.In my case I am.I didn't love my job,I was so stressed all the time,became neurotic .I have a wonderful DH who offered me to SATH and do things I love( I opened small business which don't bring much $$$,but it's something I really enjoy and who knows where it's gonna go).
You cannot measure everything with $$$.

Easy for you to say - all the stress you got rid of when you dumped your job is now on your H!!!

You are funny.No it's not like this in my case.DH loves his job and he is much happier to see me happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

I would subtract value if the father did nothing kid related. I would put that in the extremely sad and pathetic category.

Of course most fathers do kid related things. That's called being a good father. However, if dad has a work trip, business dinner, happy hour event, etc. there is no hectic rearranging of work schedules or worrying about being fired for taking too many snow or sick days bc of kids.

I would say you're overblowing the hassle of juggling work schedules. DH and I have both worked full time as parents for 15 years. It's very rare that we're both busy, and never equally busy. We're white collar, so there's no issue of being fired for taking too many days off for whatever reason.

Well you are maybe lucky?My DH works 7-9 most days,travels at least 1 week out the month and answer his phone even at thanksgiving dinner.I was out of town with kids and we had yo hire dog sitter for that time because he has no time even for our doggie.

I am astonished that anyone thinks its better to raise kids in a family where one parent stays home and one parent is basically absent, compared to a family where both parents work a reasonable schedule and both share in parenting. I can't imagine bringing up kids in an environment where one of the two people who is supposed to care about them the most consistently prioritizes work over them. To me, you've made some pretty horrible life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.

Luckily, I can be a wife and mother AND have paid employment too.

More power to you. When I quit my job, there were many women at my office who said that they would do it too, if their pay was not required. Anytime you choose to do what you do then you are lucky. Not everyone can have everything. It is true that WOHM have a source of income that they earn, it is also true that SAHMs get to spend more time with their kids. Both are true and both are not comparable.

I only wish for all women that when they do what they do (SAHM or WOHM) it is because they have really made the choice for their own happiness and not because they had no option.

To be able to SAHM, for those women, who want to spend time with their kids, and they are financially secure - it is a great thing.
To be able WOHM , for those women, who love their job and have the support system in place for their home and kids - it is a great thing too.

To not be financially secure - whether WOHM or SAHM - and not have support systems in place - they are bad in any situation.

[Anonymous]

People - do what works for you and your family and stop judging everyone else!