Financial Value of SAHM Services

[Anonymous]

PP here to answer your question about what I plan to do.

My children are spread out over nine years. I have another nine years before the youngest one leaves home for college, so I have a lot of time to plan.

I currently work on a volunteer basis for an organization that provides school supplies, clothes, shoes, books, toys, and toiletries to impoverished school children from new-immigrant families. I love that job, and would like to continue to increase my workload with that particular organization as each of the children leave the house.

I also have Board experience on behalf of organizations devoted to the needs of children in the arts and education. Again, this is a commitment I am looking to increase in the coming years.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP so you do work already, just not for pay. Thanks for volunteering your time and effort.

[Anonymous]

I have a question for the self-righteous SAHMs who claim there is no higher calling, all women should SAH no matter what, make comments about women "missing out" in their kids' childhoods, etc.

(Note that I realize most SAHMs are NOT like this at all, but there are a few posters on here who sound like they are from a different era with all their comments about how a woman with kids should never work). So this question is solely for those women who feel it is somehow a moral failing for mothers to work:

Do you have daughters? If so, are you encouraging them to go to college? If they have career ambitions will you support these or will you be teaching your daughters that no matter what, they should not work once they have kids? Do you think cooking, cleaning, and being a mom should be their only aspirations in life even if they have an interest in medicine, science, law, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the self-righteous SAHMs who claim there is no higher calling, all women should SAH no matter what, make comments about women "missing out" in their kids' childhoods, etc.

(Note that I realize most SAHMs are NOT like this at all, but there are a few posters on here who sound like they are from a different era with all their comments about how a woman with kids should never work). So this question is solely for those women who feel it is somehow a moral failing for mothers to work:

Do you have daughters? If so, are you encouraging them to go to college? If they have career ambitions will you support these or will you be teaching your daughters that no matter what, they should not work once they have kids? Do you think cooking, cleaning, and being a mom should be their only aspirations in life even if they have an interest in medicine, science, law, etc?

I am not one of the type of SAHM you mention above, but as a stay-at-home parent this is a question I consider and grapple with - particularly with my child which is the same sex as me (the other sex has the working parent as an example).

My partner and I stress the importance of education, hard work, and ambition with all of our children. And we emphasize, "though both of us [your parents] value my contribution to the family in staying home for you; we expect you to focus on your education above all, and pursue a career." I tell my the child of my sex, in particular, that though I love and value my work at home, I would prefer that they pursue a career, because they are so very intelligent and capable, and it will ultimately give them more financial independence, sense of accomplishment (let's face it, most of society looks down on the SAHP), adult friends, and life options. I truly mean that, but I am still happy with my personal life choice.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for that answer 16:42. I'm the poster who asked that question and I can tell you that although I was raised by a SAHM, I am now a 30 y/o female attorney married to a successful consultant with our first on the way. I still look up to my mom as a role model even though she did not have a career outside the home. I very much value and respect her opinions, and often talk to her about my career goals.

That being said, it irks me to no end when I read things on here from self righteous SAHPs who act as if any woman with a career and family is neglecting her children. I have respect for parents who SAH (whether by choice or otherwise) and expect the same respect in return for my decison. I'm glad to hear that a SAHP is able to value their ability to SAH while also understanding the value that your children of either gender may contribute to the working world.