Adoption costs?

[Anonymous]

We adopted internationally through Dillon International. Our tiny baby is now an amazing teenager. Best thing we ever did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Is there anything that keeps the birthmother from changing her mind? Is it possible one could end up paying all these expenses you guys are talking about and end up with nothing? Not trying to discourage anyone, just curious.

Yep. We had a failed adoption where the birthmother changed her mind, and were in the hole for thousands. It's not uncommon. But we kept at it, and had success the next time.

Wow...so you're just out all those costs? I mean, I guess there's not really anyone that could pay you back particularly if the birth mother doesn't have any means and you can't just go in and steal the baby from the mother, but still, that really blows. That's scary, you really are at the mercy of the whim of the birth mother.

We signed up with an agency and facilitator. Both just took our money and we were out at least $20,000 with them both. Neither ever helped us with a child. Lots more money to attorney's who just gave us bad advice. A expectant parent can make a plan for adoption, have 6-8 months of living expenses paid, not place and its basically too bad for the family. Then you have to start over, and that does not include more agency/attorney fees.

You cannot count on the credit. They change it every few years. Now they have made it harder to get as so many took advantage of it. It has to get renewed every year or every few years. Almost at every renewal there is huge fear of it being taken away.

6-8 months?
That must be an urban myth
Generally adoption plans are only made in the last trimester. You paid money to agency and facilitator. Women do not find out they are 1 month pregnant and then live off prospective adoptive parents for 8 months

This is no urban myth - I've just gone through two failed adoptions with a close relative. Both times living expenses were paid for *months* to the birthmom - thousands of dollars in living expenses and more to the agencies involved - both times the bm decided to keep the baby. I'm convinced the first was an outright scam - not even sure she was pregnant or was pregnant when the adoption was matched. It happens and it's terrible.

[Anonymous]

I see I am late to this posting but here are my thoughts and experience. Adoption is very expensive at least 40000. It can take years and I have a friend that adopted from CC and I took them 5 years, so not quick at all. While we are not adopting thru CC we have been waiting 2 years with a budget of 40k. We too did years and years of IVF Donor and we had one stillborn baby and many M/C with no insurance coverage and 60000 later no baby. And as for the GC, my friend is doing that right now at a tune of 100000. So however you have a baby it will be a small fortune unless you give birth yourself. I only wish fertile people "got it"... Most are clueless!!

Those are my thoughts...OP....you must of had fertility coverage for first child or did you have him without IVF? Also if you don't live in the DC area why are you on this board? Prayers to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adopting from foster care?

No. It's important to know yourself, and it's not right for me. I admire people who can do that. I'm not that person.

Or maybe it's not quite what you think? You *do* have some control at every point in the process, including the decisions about which children you allow into your home, and which children you allow to remain in your home.

Also want to encourage you to re-explore international. Maintaining the link to the birth culture can be done in a very low-key way. Also, not all children have a deep desire to be connected to birth culture. This is something that can happen more organically as the child gets older -- it doesn't have to be an intense, expensive, energy-draining process right out of the gate. Most kids just assimilate as Americans.

We began our international adoption journey through this organization:
www.newhorizonsforchildren.org

Foster parent here. OP, do NOT listen to this person. If you don't think foster care is for you, then it isn't. While it's technically true that you can choose not to allow a child to remain in your home, that should be an ABSOLUTE last resort. Kids in foster care have already experienced loss, grief, and attachment disruptions by being pulled from their families of origin - getting tossed from a foster family is another loss that just chips away at their little souls. It's heartbreaking. And while you can choose which children to allow into your home theoretically, the agency may not know everything about the kid, or, worse yet, sometimes they mislead you in order to get you to take a kid. And then see above, re: disruptions. It's hard on kids.

Don't be a foster parent unless you're ready to really take it on.

OP here and I agree with you PP which is why it's a non-option. Those kids deserve better than that and I have serious doubts about my ability to really live up to what they need. Glad there are people lime you out there who are up to tue task. You're a better person than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see I am late to this posting but here are my thoughts and experience. Adoption is very expensive at least 40000. It can take years and I have a friend that adopted from CC and I took them 5 years, so not quick at all. While we are not adopting thru CC we have been waiting 2 years with a budget of 40k. We too did years and years of IVF Donor and we had one stillborn baby and many M/C with no insurance coverage and 60000 later no baby. And as for the GC, my friend is doing that right now at a tune of 100000. So however you have a baby it will be a small fortune unless you give birth yourself. I only wish fertile people "got it"... Most are clueless!!

Those are my thoughts...OP....you must of had fertility coverage for first child or did you have him without IVF? Also if you don't live in the DC area why are you on this board? Prayers to you.

No, I have secondary infertility. Got pregnant with DC naturally on the first try. Sorry you've been through such an ordeal.

[Anonymous]

I still don't get why it's so expensive. I mean, sure the courts need to be involved and some level of diligence needs to be done on the adopting parent (presumably the social worker does this) so I don't think you can avoid that expense. What else are you paying the agency to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why it's so expensive. I mean, sure the courts need to be involved and some level of diligence needs to be done on the adopting parent (presumably the social worker does this) so I don't think you can avoid that expense. What else are you paying the agency to do?

Not sure if you're talking about domestic or international adoption, but I can answer from our particular international adoption journey from Korea:

Fingerprints, both through the local police and through CIS.
US govt applications to have the govt approve you to adopt, to classify the child as an orphan eligible for adoption, and one other thing, if I recall correctly
Homestudy that included 3 visits with a social worker, plus the time for the social worker to submit his/her reports
Medical exams, though a minor cost
Application fees to the adoption agency, although again, in the scheme of things, a minor cost
Fee when referral was received, which went to the Korean adoption agency- this was the most expensive part for us- at the time about $10k, IIRC. Our child was not a newborn and had been in the agency's care for many months. She received medical exams monthly and her foster parents received a stipend. The fees also went towards the Korean agency's other social welfare programs, like a maternity home for expectant mothers, care for those with intellectual disabilities, care for the elderly, and a home where parents had abandoned their children but had not relinquished their rights, leaving those children in limbo, unable to be adopted but not reunited with their parents.
Post-placement visits- again, 3 visits with the social worker and her and her agency's time to write up and review the reports
ICPC fee, which is something domestic adoption often deals with- b/c our agency isn't in the DC area and they had legal custody of our child, we had to petition to be allowed to transport her across state lines
Lawyer's fees- to finalize the adoption in Fairfax County court, b/c at the time, Korean adoptions were finalized in the US, not in Korea
Certificate of Citizenship, b/c the federal govt doesn't reccognize the local adpotion decree as proof of citizenship, so we had to pay mto get a piece of paper proving she was a citizen, even though the finalization automatically made her a citizen

All worth it!

[Anonymous]

Am rather late chiming in and OP you may have already found this resource but Adoptive Families Circle website has some helpful information on costs and processes, as well as various groups related to specific adoption issues and stages of the process from considering adoption to agencies etc., http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/. There are also some forums such as Babycenter which have helpful groups with folks with experience of moving from infertility to thinking through adoption.

We finalized a domestic infant adoption in 2013. We live in DC and adopted from a state in the south. I did lots of research on agencies, facilitators and referral services and spoke to many. In the end our adoption cost a tad under $30k all up (including our homestudy, placement, post-placement visits and legal costs for finalization). We were fortunate to be chosen for a baby born situation and the birthmother did not ask for birthmother expenses. Also the agency did not require any money until placement. Agencies such as this which take the risk of birthmother changing her mind all too rare in the adoption world.

I think it is possible to do an adoption under $30k in some states, but difficult. Some agencies will let you set your own budget and you could find one of these, set a budget and wait. You need to prepared to stick to the budget and accept that an adoption might not happen or may take a long time. The facts of the adoption industry are confronting and it took me some time to get my head around it and decide we could accept the process - be kind to yourself and give yourself time. Seek out helpful and informed communities online and don't rush yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see I am late to this posting but here are my thoughts and experience. Adoption is very expensive at least 40000. It can take years and I have a friend that adopted from CC and I took them 5 years, so not quick at all. While we are not adopting thru CC we have been waiting 2 years with a budget of 40k. We too did years and years of IVF Donor and we had one stillborn baby and many M/C with no insurance coverage and 60000 later no baby. And as for the GC, my friend is doing that right now at a tune of 100000. So however you have a baby it will be a small fortune unless you give birth you

rself. I only wish fertile people "got it"... Most are clueless!!

Those are my thoughts...OP....you must of had fertility coverage for first child or did you have him without IVF? Also if you don't live in the DC area why are you on this board? Prayers to you.

What if I told you the internet was everywhere? Did I just blow your mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why it's so expensive. I mean, sure the courts need to be involved and some level of diligence needs to be done on the adopting parent (presumably the social worker does this) so I don't think you can avoid that expense. What else are you paying the agency to do?

Not sure if you're talking about domestic or international adoption, but I can answer from our particular international adoption journey from Korea:

Fingerprints, both through the local police and through CIS.
US govt applications to have the govt approve you to adopt, to classify the child as an orphan eligible for adoption, and one other thing, if I recall correctly
Homestudy that included 3 visits with a social worker, plus the time for the social worker to submit his/her reports
Medical exams, though a minor cost
Application fees to the adoption agency, although again, in the scheme of things, a minor cost
Fee when referral was received, which went to the Korean adoption agency- this was the most expensive part for us- at the time about $10k, IIRC. Our child was not a newborn and had been in the agency's care for many months. She received medical exams monthly and her foster parents received a stipend. The fees also went towards the Korean agency's other social welfare programs, like a maternity home for expectant mothers, care for those with intellectual disabilities, care for the elderly, and a home where parents had abandoned their children but had not relinquished their rights, leaving those children in limbo, unable to be adopted but not reunited with their parents.
Post-placement visits- again, 3 visits with the social worker and her and her agency's time to write up and review the reports
ICPC fee, which is something domestic adoption often deals with- b/c our agency isn't in the DC area and they had legal custody of our child, we had to petition to be allowed to transport her across state lines
Lawyer's fees- to finalize the adoption in Fairfax County court, b/c at the time, Korean adoptions were finalized in the US, not in Korea
Certificate of Citizenship, b/c the federal govt doesn't reccognize the local adpotion decree as proof of citizenship, so we had to pay mto get a piece of paper proving she was a citizen, even though the finalization automatically made her a citizen

All worth it!

I guess I was thinking of domestic adoption since with international adoptions I can see how various trips between the countries could end up costing a lot. In your case the agency fee doesn't seem so bad since it's going to what seems like a state run adoption agency[?] that helps offset other costs the state has. My completely unresearched impression from other posters is that these other agencies pocket a large portion of the fee while not really delivering a lot of value (I don't mean the child, I mean the actual work the agency is doing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not sure if you're talking about domestic or international adoption, but I can answer from our particular international adoption journey from Korea:

Fingerprints, both through the local police and through CIS.
US govt applications to have the govt approve you to adopt, to classify the child as an orphan eligible for adoption, and one other thing, if I recall correctly
Homestudy that included 3 visits with a social worker, plus the time for the social worker to submit his/her reports
Medical exams, though a minor cost
Application fees to the adoption agency, although again, in the scheme of things, a minor cost
Fee when referral was received, which went to the Korean adoption agency- this was the most expensive part for us- at the time about $10k, IIRC. Our child was not a newborn and had been in the agency's care for many months. She received medical exams monthly and her foster parents received a stipend. The fees also went towards the Korean agency's other social welfare programs, like a maternity home for expectant mothers, care for those with intellectual disabilities, care for the elderly, and a home where parents had abandoned their children but had not relinquished their rights, leaving those children in limbo, unable to be adopted but not reunited with their parents.
Post-placement visits- again, 3 visits with the social worker and her and her agency's time to write up and review the reports
ICPC fee, which is something domestic adoption often deals with- b/c our agency isn't in the DC area and they had legal custody of our child, we had to petition to be allowed to transport her across state lines
Lawyer's fees- to finalize the adoption in Fairfax County court, b/c at the time, Korean adoptions were finalized in the US, not in Korea
Certificate of Citizenship, b/c the federal govt doesn't reccognize the local adpotion decree as proof of citizenship, so we had to pay mto get a piece of paper proving she was a citizen, even though the finalization automatically made her a citizen

All worth it!

Are you dumb or do you really believe that your adoption is used to finance foster care, maternity homes, intellectual disabilities, nursing homes and so on?

Korea has a bad reputation for 'farming' babies for adoption. There is no need for the adoption industry keeps its social systems alive, they have taxes for that. It really sounds like you purchased your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not sure if you're talking about domestic or international adoption, but I can answer from our particular international adoption journey from Korea:

Fingerprints, both through the local police and through CIS.
US govt applications to have the govt approve you to adopt, to classify the child as an orphan eligible for adoption, and one other thing, if I recall correctly
Homestudy that included 3 visits with a social worker, plus the time for the social worker to submit his/her reports
Medical exams, though a minor cost
Application fees to the adoption agency, although again, in the scheme of things, a minor cost
Fee when referral was received, which went to the Korean adoption agency- this was the most expensive part for us- at the time about $10k, IIRC. Our child was not a newborn and had been in the agency's care for many months. She received medical exams monthly and her foster parents received a stipend. The fees also went towards the Korean agency's other social welfare programs, like a maternity home for expectant mothers, care for those with intellectual disabilities, care for the elderly, and a home where parents had abandoned their children but had not relinquished their rights, leaving those children in limbo, unable to be adopted but not reunited with their parents.
Post-placement visits- again, 3 visits with the social worker and her and her agency's time to write up and review the reports
ICPC fee, which is something domestic adoption often deals with- b/c our agency isn't in the DC area and they had legal custody of our child, we had to petition to be allowed to transport her across state lines
Lawyer's fees- to finalize the adoption in Fairfax County court, b/c at the time, Korean adoptions were finalized in the US, not in Korea
Certificate of Citizenship, b/c the federal govt doesn't reccognize the local adpotion decree as proof of citizenship, so we had to pay mto get a piece of paper proving she was a citizen, even though the finalization automatically made her a citizen

All worth it!

Are you dumb or do you really believe that your adoption is used to finance foster care, maternity homes, intellectual disabilities, nursing homes and so on?

Korea has a bad reputation for 'farming' babies for adoption. There is no need for the adoption industry keeps its social systems alive, they have taxes for that. It really sounds like you purchased your child

If you want to believe I purchased my child, that's your right. Considering I am Korean, born in Seoul and immigrated here, I am comfortable with my own research into Korean adoption.

Have a nice day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see I am late to this posting but here are my thoughts and experience. Adoption is very expensive at least 40000. It can take years and I have a friend that adopted from CC and I took them 5 years, so not quick at all. While we are not adopting thru CC we have been waiting 2 years with a budget of 40k. We too did years and years of IVF Donor and we had one stillborn baby and many M/C with no insurance coverage and 60000 later no baby. And as for the GC, my friend is doing that right now at a tune of 100000. So however you have a baby it will be a small fortune unless you give birth you

rself. I only wish fertile people "got it"... Most are clueless!!

Those are my thoughts...OP....you must of had fertility coverage for first child or did you have him without IVF? Also if you don't live in the DC area why are you on this board? Prayers to you.

What if I told you the internet was everywhere? Did I just blow your mind?

Really????? I didn't know that..Internet what is that? You smart a... You figure it out... I was asking because the OP question someone about adoption scams and that she does not live in the DC area, and where she lives that won't happen. She reference DC, so why take advice from us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See, this is what confuses me:

"2.The maximum amount of the credit is $12,650 that means you can reduce your 2012 tax bill by up to $12,650."

Does this mean that if we owe $0 in taxes (which we try very hard to do every year), that we'd get a refund of $12,650?

Maybe someone answered this. Your tax liability and what you "owe" at the end of the year are two separate things. Let's say your tax liablility is $15,000, but thru payment thru your jobs it was paid to the IRS for you and at the end of the year you may not owe anything. So you still had a tax liability for $15 K, you paid it during the year and then when you file your taxes and you get the adoption credit you get a refund of the money you overpaid.

[Anonymous]

As an aside, OP, have you read "The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption," by Barbara Bisantz Raymond? Harrowing book. It will explain why adoptions are so expensive in this country, as well as a lot of other negative aspects about the process. It continues in its broken state because we all want to be parents, often at any cost.

We adopted three newborns domestically, and the range of adoption expenses was (excluding airfare to the state, etc) was $30K to $40K.