No, I dont want to date women in their 40's

[Anonymous]

what shitty attitude do I have towards women?

I love women, love to spend time with them and really enjoy the entire process.

Just because I am aware of dynamics in the sexual marketplace doesn't mean I am shitty to people.

[Anonymous]

OP, didn't they tell you in elementary school that you should use a capital letter after a period?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what shitty attitude do I have towards women?

I love women, love to spend time with them and really enjoy the entire process.

Just because I am aware of dynamics in the sexual marketplace doesn't mean I am shitty to people.

NP

You have a pretty mercenary, one dimensional view of women. Ie "When they are young, they want cock. When they are older, they want money." That over simplifies the equation, and it's degrading for both men and women.

You view dating as a marketplace activity. As someone who married a guy who is 3 years older than I am and who was a broke-ass student when I did it, all I can say is "gross."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what shitty attitude do I have towards women?

I love women, love to spend time with them and really enjoy the entire process.

Just because I am aware of dynamics in the sexual marketplace doesn't mean I am shitty to people.

NP

You have a pretty mercenary, one dimensional view of women. Ie "When they are young, they want cock. When they are older, they want money." That over simplifies the equation, and it's degrading for both men and women.

You view dating as a marketplace activity. As someone who married a guy who is 3 years older than I am and who was a broke-ass student when I did it, all I can say is "gross."

+1 You view both men and women as commodities to be bought and sold, not as human beings.

[Anonymous]

I dont know what NP means

Let me phrase it differently.

girl in 20's = I'm looking to have fun, have some new experiences, see the world and get to know myself before I settle down. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role.

woman in 30's = time to settle down, ready for something steady and serious and maybe kids. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role.

does that make more sense?

i'm actually not trying to be incendiary or troll, i will admit however that i did simplify it too much cover all nuances before.

I think what i've written above is not necessarily all that crazy or even hard for anyone to admit that there is truth to it

[Anonymous]

"girl in 20's = I'm looking to have fun, have some new experiences, see the world and get to know myself before I settle down. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role."

Yep. That "type" of man that 20-something women are looking to fill that role? Other 20-something men. (Or early 30's at the oldest).

Usually "fun" and "40+" don't go together in the minds of most 20-somethings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1 You view both men and women as commodities to be bought and sold, not as human beings.

um, hardly.

people enter into an exchange when they have a relationship. an exchange of time, energy, care, concern, affection, whatever.

most people also seek to make that exchange with someone that they deem as worthy of themselves. i.e. "their type"

it usually all works subconsciously and even when you admit it out loud it comes out differently.

have you ever heard a woman describe a new guy she just met by stating his occupation, educational pedigree and background?

well, there you go, its a natural thing we all do.

have you ever seen a couple and thought, what in the world is she doing with that guy? she could do so much better!

exactly.

its not wrong of me to be aware of it, it is just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:@16:48

spending time with a person isnt a binary decision between getting married and "just someone to sleep with"

there are other options in case you forgot.

ideal for me? a woman 24 years old who is looking for a something semi serious but not yet ready for marriage.

if she were my daughter i'd never advocate she do that, but these are grown ups making their own decisions.

kids don't have be nasty baggage, its funny you put it that way. with shared custody, time over laps can be minimal and geeze, maybe the kids are lovely and she enjoys spending time with them?

serious question for you: what year was it when you got married in your 20's? part of my thesis has an assumption that their is trend in place that is increasing the age gaps which seem acceptable to people currently.

this is for a lot of reasons but the two main ones are the feminization of men and the poor economy which has had a serious negative impact on the ability of young males to evolve into men.

its a push and a pull. guys in their 20's arent nearly as attractive to women in their 20's and men in their late 30's and early 40's are increasingly focused on staying fit, healthy, energetic, etc.

which ones - like "waste your best years in a relationship that is not going anywhere"?

i find it funny that you are basically admitting that women you are looking for are not the type that you would like your daughter to be like. so you understand that those women are not doing well for themselves by being with men like you (and i agree!). and that is, btw, because those women are at best second-tier women.

your reasons for why you will remain attractive to youg women for many years are frankly, delusional. they sound very much like feminist BS about looks not being important, having babies in mid forties etc, etc. at the end of the day, there exists biological reality which, though not identical, is as relevant for men as it is for women. you can stay fit and wear nice suits all you want (just like women in their forites are often fit and beautiful and all that) and yet your mere age is going to severely constrict your options. it looks like you personally have experienced increased desirability in your thirties and are extrapolating that trend (or at least believe the level will be maintained) into your forties and fifties... but it doesn't work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont know what NP means

Let me phrase it differently.

girl in 20's = I'm looking to have fun, have some new experiences, see the world and get to know myself before I settle down. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role.

woman in 30's = time to settle down, ready for something steady and serious and maybe kids. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role.

does that make more sense?

i'm actually not trying to be incendiary or troll, i will admit however that i did simplify it too much cover all nuances before.

I think what i've written above is not necessarily all that crazy or even hard for anyone to admit that there is truth to it

NP means new poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"girl in 20's = I'm looking to have fun, have some new experiences, see the world and get to know myself before I settle down. this attracts a certain male type and they seek a certain male type to fill the role."

Yep. That "type" of man that 20-something women are looking to fill that role? Other 20-something men. (Or early 30's at the oldest).

Usually "fun" and "40+" don't go together in the minds of most 20-somethings.

you're right. thats because most 40 year old men are lame.

believe me, it takes a very proactive mindset to stay attractive to women in their 20's.

gym, clothes, fun events and activities, places to go, access to interesting events and social circles - it all takes work to build an exciting life.

i think you're likely considering the lame-o 40 somethings you know and thinking, that chubby guy who is out of shape has no fashion sense and watches 3 hours of a tv a night could never get with a 25 year old girl

and you know what?

you're right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what shitty attitude do I have towards women?

I love women, love to spend time with them and really enjoy the entire process.

Just because I am aware of dynamics in the sexual marketplace doesn't mean I am shitty to people.

NP

You have a pretty mercenary, one dimensional view of women. Ie "When they are young, they want cock. When they are older, they want money." That over simplifies the equation, and it's degrading for both men and women.

You view dating as a marketplace activity. As someone who married a guy who is 3 years older than I am and who was a broke-ass student when I did it, all I can say is "gross."

+1 You view both men and women as commodities to be bought and sold, not as human beings.

i am the female PP who engaged in market-place like analysis of dating with the 37 old male PP. to my defense, i am a research psychologist and i find this paradigm to be quite useful.

i will also observe that, from my personal experience, man's desirability is negatively correlated with his purported insight into the dynamics of a relationship marketplace. real men really don't think that hard .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@16:48

spending time with a person isnt a binary decision between getting married and "just someone to sleep with"

there are other options in case you forgot.

ideal for me? a woman 24 years old who is looking for a something semi serious but not yet ready for marriage.

if she were my daughter i'd never advocate she do that, but these are grown ups making their own decisions.

kids don't have be nasty baggage, its funny you put it that way. with shared custody, time over laps can be minimal and geeze, maybe the kids are lovely and she enjoys spending time with them?

serious question for you: what year was it when you got married in your 20's? part of my thesis has an assumption that their is trend in place that is increasing the age gaps which seem acceptable to people currently.

this is for a lot of reasons but the two main ones are the feminization of men and the poor economy which has had a serious negative impact on the ability of young males to evolve into men.

its a push and a pull. guys in their 20's arent nearly as attractive to women in their 20's and men in their late 30's and early 40's are increasingly focused on staying fit, healthy, energetic, etc.

which ones - like "waste your best years in a relationship that is not going anywhere"?

i find it funny that you are basically admitting that women you are looking for are not the type that you would like your daughter to be like. so you understand that those women are not doing well for themselves by being with men like you (and i agree!). and that is, btw, because those women are at best second-tier women.

your reasons for why you will remain attractive to youg women for many years are frankly, delusional. they sound very much like feminist BS about looks not being important, having babies in mid forties etc, etc. at the end of the day, there exists biological reality which, though not identical, is as relevant for men as it is for women. you can stay fit and wear nice suits all you want (just like women in their forites are often fit and beautiful and all that) and yet your mere age is going to severely constrict your options. it looks like you personally have experienced increased desirability in your thirties and are extrapolating that trend (or at least believe the level will be maintained) into your forties and fifties... but it doesn't work that way.

you're making an assumption - that the first tier women are looking for a husband at 25. many many of them aren't and its not because they didn't have a father tell them that should be. its because their sisters and mothers and friends and feminist leaders tell them that 35 is the new 25 and one should get out there and experience the world.

a woman who is 24, two years after college and in position where she may be contemplating graduate school - may very well not be looking for a husband at that point - but could very well be first tier.

just because they aren't husband shopping at 24 doesn't make them second tier by definition.

i'm sure many of the women on here would argue the same thing.

and finally, no i dont think by any stretch of the imagination that at 50 i'll be able to attract the same caliber (ie young and first tier) of woman as i do now. not unless i suddenly got famous (which really is the only thing keeping me from doing so, all the rest is in place). but i'll definitely have a nice selection of 35 year old woman to chose from, and according to this forum - thats just a few years removed from a woman's peak! haha.

i suspect in reality, my peak will be in about 4-5 years. and even then 24 will be too young realistically. 28 not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what shitty attitude do I have towards women?

I love women, love to spend time with them and really enjoy the entire process.

Just because I am aware of dynamics in the sexual marketplace doesn't mean I am shitty to people.

NP

You have a pretty mercenary, one dimensional view of women. Ie "When they are young, they want cock. When they are older, they want money." That over simplifies the equation, and it's degrading for both men and women.

You view dating as a marketplace activity. As someone who married a guy who is 3 years older than I am and who was a broke-ass student when I did it, all I can say is "gross."

+1 You view both men and women as commodities to be bought and sold, not as human beings.

i am the female PP who engaged in market-place like analysis of dating with the 37 old male PP. to my defense, i am a research psychologist and i find this paradigm to be quite useful.

i will also observe that, from my personal experience, man's desirability is negatively correlated with his purported insight into the dynamics of a relationship marketplace. real men really don't think that hard .

ha!

i do have an unusual interest in the study of relationship dynamics and the sexual marketplace. thats largely because at my divorce (around 32) i had to learn everything i had never even noticed in my 20's. the world had changed mightily from the time i got locked up with ex at 24 to when i was free at 32.

i spent a lot of time reading and learning and understanding what was going on, and have found it to be particularly interesting, especially in practical application.

when combined with my natural attributes, it has really made for phenomenal results.

[Anonymous]

Women in their 40s are very sensitive about their appearance. If you make them feel - really make them feel - like they are as hot as they were in their 20s, you will get in their pants, guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@16:48

spending time with a person isnt a binary decision between getting married and "just someone to sleep with"

there are other options in case you forgot.

ideal for me? a woman 24 years old who is looking for a something semi serious but not yet ready for marriage.

if she were my daughter i'd never advocate she do that, but these are grown ups making their own decisions.

kids don't have be nasty baggage, its funny you put it that way. with shared custody, time over laps can be minimal and geeze, maybe the kids are lovely and she enjoys spending time with them?

serious question for you: what year was it when you got married in your 20's? part of my thesis has an assumption that their is trend in place that is increasing the age gaps which seem acceptable to people currently.

this is for a lot of reasons but the two main ones are the feminization of men and the poor economy which has had a serious negative impact on the ability of young males to evolve into men.

its a push and a pull. guys in their 20's arent nearly as attractive to women in their 20's and men in their late 30's and early 40's are increasingly focused on staying fit, healthy, energetic, etc.

which ones - like "waste your best years in a relationship that is not going anywhere"?

i find it funny that you are basically admitting that women you are looking for are not the type that you would like your daughter to be like. so you understand that those women are not doing well for themselves by being with men like you (and i agree!). and that is, btw, because those women are at best second-tier women.

your reasons for why you will remain attractive to youg women for many years are frankly, delusional. they sound very much like feminist BS about looks not being important, having babies in mid forties etc, etc. at the end of the day, there exists biological reality which, though not identical, is as relevant for men as it is for women. you can stay fit and wear nice suits all you want (just like women in their forites are often fit and beautiful and all that) and yet your mere age is going to severely constrict your options. it looks like you personally have experienced increased desirability in your thirties and are extrapolating that trend (or at least believe the level will be maintained) into your forties and fifties... but it doesn't work that way.

you're making an assumption - that the first tier women are looking for a husband at 25. many many of them aren't and its not because they didn't have a father tell them that should be. its because their sisters and mothers and friends and feminist leaders tell them that 35 is the new 25 and one should get out there and experience the world.

a woman who is 24, two years after college and in position where she may be contemplating graduate school - may very well not be looking for a husband at that point - but could very well be first tier.

just because they aren't husband shopping at 24 doesn't make them second tier by definition.

i'm sure many of the women on here would argue the same thing.

and finally, no i dont think by any stretch of the imagination that at 50 i'll be able to attract the same caliber (ie young and first tier) of woman as i do now. not unless i suddenly got famous (which really is the only thing keeping me from doing so, all the rest is in place). but i'll definitely have a nice selection of 35 year old woman to chose from, and according to this forum - thats just a few years removed from a woman's peak! haha.

i suspect in reality, my peak will be in about 4-5 years. and even then 24 will be too young realistically. 28 not so much.

a woman does not need to husband shop in order to get married. the most desirable women attract most desirable men and, since both sides make very few compromises, they fall in love most easily, leading to marriage. thus, the most desirable women and men are snatched first. it's only when a person needs to make compromises that the calculating mindset ('husband shopping') emerges. look at the women models and hollywood stars - most of them had their (first) marriages in their twenties. check it out and you will be surprised how common it still is.