Tatoos on Camp Counselor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take some time to chat up this counselor and get to know her a little bit. I would be wary, too, but I associate tatoos with people in my past I don't want to deal with. Lazy people, people who spend way too much money on stuff I see no value in, people who have their priorities in the wrong place. She probably isn't that kind of person, which is why I'd take some time to talk to her. DH always says to give people room to surprise you.

"People who spend way too much money on stuff I see no value in" - for me, that's all you ladies with expensive highlights, designer purses and luxury cars.

[Anonymous]

OP - Do you mind sharing the name of the summer camp?? We have adopted a child out of foster care too, and we would LOVE to know of a supportive place for the summer.

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry some people are being hard on you. I think you asked an honest, non-judgmental question and people are getting defensive.

PPs have to admit that those who have tattoos on hands, necks, etc. are purposefully pulling themselves out of mainstream society (fine) and limiting their job prospects (not fine unless you're already independently wealthy). I understand not wanting your child to think it's "cool" to have a tattoo like that because it WILL limit them in life. I have faced this in my generally liberal workplace. I've also seen young people with tattoos that are spelled wrong or otherwise idiotic and I have absolutely judged them. There's no denying that they want people to view them differently, and that's okay as long as they know they will be limited in life.

Maybe what you need to do is have a frank conversation with your son about tattoos (it worked for me that my mom said she wouldn't pay for my college education if I got one). You could also approach the counselor and just let them know that you have this agreement with your son and so if he asks the counselor about tattoos that he should be advised to not get one until he's 30. By then, the allure will have faded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take some time to chat up this counselor and get to know her a little bit. I would be wary, too, but I associate tatoos with people in my past I don't want to deal with. Lazy people, people who spend way too much money on stuff I see no value in, people who have their priorities in the wrong place. She probably isn't that kind of person, which is why I'd take some time to talk to her. DH always says to give people room to surprise you.

"People who spend way too much money on stuff I see no value in" - for me, that's all you ladies with expensive highlights, designer purses and luxury cars.

I am the PP, and I also see no value in highlights, designer purses, and luxury cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

OK, so no judgment from you for your 18 year old daughter if she comes home covered in tattoos? More importantly, no judgment for yourself as a parent if that's what happens when she turns 18? C'mon now. You've definitely messed up somewhere along the line if that happens. This is not exactly what kids headed off to Middlebury in the fall do the summer after high school graduation. I agree that OP should be kind to the camp counselor and give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's all agree that this is not a choice we want being made by our own children as a way of understanding where OP is coming from.

Sure - why do you think these two things are incompatible?

Just pointing out that most PPs are acting like tattoos are totally normal, mainstream style choices like haircuts and pants vs. skirts. In fact, most people do not feel this way. Isn't that why people get tattoos in the first place?--to buck the system a bit? If they were just like any other style decision, I think they would lose their appeal to those who get them. So, they do indicate something more--usually something is going on with someone who needs attention that badly, and OP is wondering exactly what that factor is and if its ok in the childcare setting. It may be that this counselor is great at his job, but it is not bizarre for OP to wonder if there might be something going on there. I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt probably, but also I personally would feel like I really whiffed on motherhood if my children got tattoos all over themselves.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the big deal is.

What's important is if he's a good camp counselor/role model and if he's someone your son will benefit from being around. Tattoos do not determine that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

OK, so no judgment from you for your 18 year old daughter if she comes home covered in tattoos? More importantly, no judgment for yourself as a parent if that's what happens when she turns 18? C'mon now. You've definitely messed up somewhere along the line if that happens. This is not exactly what kids headed off to Middlebury in the fall do the summer after high school graduation. I agree that OP should be kind to the camp counselor and give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's all agree that this is not a choice we want being made by our own children as a way of understanding where OP is coming from.

Sure - why do you think these two things are incompatible?

Just pointing out that most PPs are acting like tattoos are totally normal, mainstream style choices like haircuts and pants vs. skirts. In fact, most people do not feel this way. [/b]Isn't that why people get tattoos in the first place?--to buck the system a bit?[b] If they were just like any other style decision, I think they would lose their appeal to those who get them. So, they do indicate something more--usually something is going on with someone who needs attention that badly, and OP is wondering exactly what that factor is and if its ok in the childcare setting. It may be that this counselor is great at his job, but it is not bizarre for OP to wonder if there might be something going on there. I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt probably, but also I personally would feel like I really whiffed on motherhood if my children got tattoos all over themselves.

I don't think so. I think it's much more personal, and that they don't feel constrained by popular opinion.

[Anonymous]

I would deal with it. But if my child mentioned it I would point out that it's important to realize that people can and do make snap judgements based on things like tattoos and if he wants to do that to himself in the future he should be aware that he is leaving himself open to those kind of judgments.

Whether judging is good or bad is irrelevant because in human nature it happens. If I'm given the choice of an inked up salesperson or one that projects a more professional appearance, I'm going for Door #2 simply because subliminally they are sending a message. #1 may lose out simply based on image. Then again, someone else may go for that look. Whatever. People make choices, people live with the consequences of them good or bad.

[Anonymous]

I did not have a "conservative" upbringing but I still judge people with lots of tattoos. To me it says that at some point they rejected the mainstream, and that their life goals were not very high. It's like you know you are going to end up working in food service or a bike shop or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a "conservative" upbringing but I still judge people with lots of tattoos. To me it says that at some point they rejected the mainstream, and that their life goals were not very high. It's like you know you are going to end up working in food service or a bike shop or something.

I reject this supposed mainstream perspective. Feeling pretty good about it too. And My Goals Are Way Up There, Man. And I bear no marks on my person either.

Tattoos are not statements of rejecting the mainstream. They are expressions of individuality limited only by the imagination and budget of the skin, and the skill of the artist they hire.

Just because you of the non conservative upbringing don't get it does not mean that there is not something to get. And I suspect that your judgement is a protective shield against the notion that maybe these people are really just as human and fallible as yourself, AND, horror of horrors, vice versa.

Judgement of people with differences is largely fear based.

I do not judge OP for asking the question. She knew it was not a slam dunk, so she asked. And, largely, DCUM responded correctly, and bless you all for it. I am so relieved to hear all of you who chimed in on the "deal with it" side.

The world today is marred by many things, and among them is the inability of humans to understand where differences could be celebrated instead of feared and reviled.

[Anonymous]

^ sorry, PP. In this society, neck, face, and hand tattoos are absolutely a rejection of mainstream society. That's ok, but that's what it is.

[Anonymous]

I really hate tattoos, however, I do think you are making too much out of this....

[Anonymous]

As long as its not gang affiliated I wouldn't worry