Tatoos on Camp Counselor

[Anonymous]

I think someone who appears bad ass while being a really nice, respectable person makes a great role model for a kid.

[Anonymous]

In my experience people with extensive tattoing (that shows on the neckk, face, hands, etc) who have tattoed a great percentage of their bodies have often been part of drug and/or crime and/or rebellious cultures and/or mental health issues or other subcultures at some point in their life.

It is often those earlier experiences however that make people great counselors. They can understand the kid who is acting out and who is struggling to connect. They get the difficulties with emotional regulation, the poor impulse control and the poor decision making. People who have come out the other side and have learned how to deal with this in healthy ways can be fantastic mentors and rally able ot relate to kids. Kids may also trust them more and learn more from them as they see the mentor as someone who 'gets it'.

So I disagree with others that say that full body tattoing is a common, mainstream thing that has no meaning other than body art but also disagree with you that this has any negative impact on the counselor's ability to meet your son's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would bother me a little, too. People with that many visible tattooes are in the "nothing to lose" camp. Not in a position to work most places, have an axe to grind, etc. I'm not talking about your dolphin ankle tattoo from college, moms. I'm referring to the types of tattooes OP asked about.

This statement would have rung true a few decades ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience people with extensive tattoing (that shows on the neckk, face, hands, etc) who have tattoed a great percentage of their bodies have often been part of drug and/or crime and/or rebellious cultures and/or mental health issues or other subcultures at some point in their life.

It is often those earlier experiences however that make people great counselors. They can understand the kid who is acting out and who is struggling to connect. They get the difficulties with emotional regulation, the poor impulse control and the poor decision making. People who have come out the other side and have learned how to deal with this in healthy ways can be fantastic mentors and rally able ot relate to kids. Kids may also trust them more and learn more from them as they see the mentor as someone who 'gets it'.

So I disagree with others that say that full body tattoing is a common, mainstream thing that has no meaning other than body art but also disagree with you that this has any negative impact on the counselor's ability to meet your son's needs.

+1. My sister is heavily tattooed, some gang tattoos. She is in her forties now. She has not lived that lifestyle for a LONG time. She is a teacher and a wonderful role model: she had it tougher, perhaps, than many of the kids she mentors, and she made bad choices. But none so bad that she didn't emerge as a thoughtful, smart, inspiring human being. Also, coming from her, "You may regret getting tattoos" means a lot more than from DH or me.

Look at the person's attitude, not outside...I have seen camp counselors who look prim and sweet who are absolute loudmouth a-holes I wouldn't want around my kids.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it unless there's something offense in the tattoo such as a confederate flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for reminding me that I need to file a complaint against sales clerk at an auto parts store who helped me yesterday. Although he went out of his way to help me and was extremely nice, I should still complain because he was overweight and also tatooed on arms and neck. You are a jerk, OP. Take your kid out of this camp and give the entire staff at this camp a break. You make assholes look good.

I think you should give OP a break. OP sounds like a person raised in a pretty conservative religion, who is adopting a foster child with severe behavioral issues at the age of 8, and who is consequently having her eyes opened about being accepting and non-judgmental of things maybe she never had to experience before.

[Anonymous]

12:30, if she is this shelteted then she should never have adopted with his problems.

[Anonymous]

If the counselor had a tattoo of a swastika or something then sure, ask for a new counselor. But what this fully-sleeved counselor may really drive home for your son is that people are different in all different ways and can be content and at peace with themselves regardless of where they started, what others say about them, etc.

[Anonymous]

I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here - Thank you 12:30 - I don't feed the trolls. I asked for opinions because I don't know and not sure what track to be on.

Yes, conservative upbringing but obviously I am open to understand a different opinion and really shouldn't be attacked (as people don't want me to judge) because of it.

Those who attack didn't read the whole post and that shows their ignorance. I am not trying to discriminate based on the tattoo but where they are placed and for his position as an example they are problem for my family.

As AA these tat's will cause this young man problems and that is not for me to tell him but for my son I have to let him know this would be a problem.

I appreciate those who gave the expression on how this could show DS how this person may have chosen this but still maintains a controlled and positive social behavior, and this is the part I will concentrate on now and not remove him.

I do understand that it will also be on us as parents to teach him our values and views on this as he grows into making this decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a perfect opportunity for you to have the "you can't judge a book but its cover" talk, OP. And perhaps it's time for a refresher yourself.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it. Not only is it not relevant, but tattoos like that tend to be off-putting to employers, so he's more likely to be better than average to have landed this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

OK, so no judgment from you for your 18 year old daughter if she comes home covered in tattoos? More importantly, no judgment for yourself as a parent if that's what happens when she turns 18? C'mon now. You've definitely messed up somewhere along the line if that happens. This is not exactly what kids headed off to Middlebury in the fall do the summer after high school graduation. I agree that OP should be kind to the camp counselor and give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's all agree that this is not a choice we want being made by our own children as a way of understanding where OP is coming from.

[Anonymous]

If you had a gut reaction that he was the wrong choice in counselor, I would go with that and ask for someone else.

You know your child's background and if the counselor caused you to pause and wonder how it is going to effect your child, then go with that feeling.

I appreciate what all the PP's who weighed in are saying. And if your son was a biological child who had grown up in your family all along, I would be in their camp. But that's not your child or your child's situation.