Tatoos on Camp Counselor

[Anonymous]

I truly don't want to discriminate, which is why I want your opinion. My son, age 8 (recently adopted from foster care) attending a special therapeutic camp that will address social issues and behavior problems has a counselor who has tattoos all over. Down the arms, hands and up the neck, not possible for clothing especially in the summer to cover everything. My DH are I in agreement that we don't like this for us but we of course wouldn't deny someone else their own option to have it, but I have a problem with my son having this particular person in a mentor role for him. I am not perfect so don't flame me that I am saying my way is correct. Should I request a new counselor or just deal with it?

[Anonymous]

Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

deal with it. What's next, asking for a counsellor of a different race? or who weighs less? The counsellor's appearance has nothing to do with how they will do their job.

[Anonymous]

oh gosh. Tatoos are the devil's art. Demand new counselor now

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe you are even asking this.

[Anonymous]

deal with it. your son is going to meet all sorts of people in his life. don't judge a book by its cover, and all that jazz.

[Anonymous]

The tatoos really say nothing about the counselor's character. Truly. And what you what for your son is a caring, fun, gentle counselor. Talk to the counselor first, and if you have a reason to be concerned with him AS A PERSON, then ask for a change. But not based on tatoos. You may deny your son the counselor he really needs this summer if you do.

Signed,
A tatood 40 year old suburban mom

[Anonymous]

what is the problem?

do you have associations with tattos and other behavior, like drugs or something?

b/c i can't quite figure out what is so "bad" about tattoos on a camp counselor.

would you feel the same if he were gay or of a different race than you? are you over-all prejudiced or do tattoos hit your buttons in some special way?

i don't have any tattoos, but have noticed that many of my summer interns have them - we require shirts and ties, but there is one young man and i can the tattoos on his arms through his white shirts. he is so sweet- such a responsible, kid kid- i can't imagine judging him on the tattos.

[Anonymous]

Is he an otherwise good counselor? What if you requested a new counselor and the new one was awful, but you were stuck with him?

[Anonymous]

Yikes, my son would think anyone with lots of tattoos was cool and be more likely to listen to what they say about more important things. What do you think about the counselor's personality, skills, ability to support your son? That's what matters.

[Anonymous]

I would be more concerned with a therapist or mentor's reputation as a therapist or mentor and less concerned with his personal style.

Consider that many times, counselors who work with at risk children were at risk children themselves. I was an at risk child and later worked as a mentor for at risk kids. Sometimes it's helpful in that relationship to have personal experience with where the child is coming from.

One way or another, likely your son needs a lack of judgmental attitude from his new parents, so I would suggest that you and your husband evaluate the people working with your son based on their professional credentials and the quality of their relationship with your son, rather than their personal appearance.

[Anonymous]

People come in all different shapes and sizes, colors, religions, and incomes. What MATTERS is what's on the inside. Character.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it. The appearance is not relevant. Ask for a change of counselor only if his personality/actions don't work for your kid.

Also, if your kid starts to talk about getting tattoos (which seems a little unlikely to me at age 8, but you never know) see if the counselor would have a frank conversation with your kid about tattooing. Likely the counselor can educate your son on how much the tattoos hurt, how expensive they were, all the reasons to think long and hard before getting a tattoo. The counselor may also have tattoos he regrets and talking to your son about that would also be educational.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it. You and your child both have to learn that people are different and not to judge a book by its cover.

[Anonymous]

Some of the greatest people I know have multiple tattoos. (I have one, but it's in a more private spot because I'm in a conservative industry.) Please do not judge people for this.

The exception would be if they had racist or skinhead tattoos - that says more about the person than the fact that they like to decorate their body with art.