Do private school families start their kids a year later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're treating school as a competition against the other children in the class, you and your child will have a long and frustrating experience.

Comparison is not the same as competition, and there is absolutely comparison. If half to 3/4 of a K class are still working on reading fluently, not being able to read fluently is not seen as troubling. If 1/4 to half of a first grade class is still working on reading fluently, it as well is not seen as a red flag. But if you shift those because the school's expectations are out-of-line with brain development (and parents reinforce this by holding back children who don't meet the "standard"), a child _who is developing perfectly normally_ will look behind, in comparison to the other children who are _also_ developing normally but have been retained a year.

A child's first few years of school often set the tone for the rest of their scholastic career. A child who views himself as "slow" or "behind" and a school that reinforces that belief may never achieve to the levels he could have. That self-perception is, in part, developed through comparison.

While fortunately these age related differences even out over time, they tend to even out in mid-later elementary after a child (and his school) has already decided what sort of student he is. If red shirting were rare, this would be less of an issue. I believe it can also mask actual delays that can signal a learning disability which is especially unfortunate because it can delay getting children help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're treating school as a competition against the other children in the class, you and your child will have a long and frustrating experience.

Comparison is not the same as competition, and there is absolutely comparison. If half to 3/4 of a K class are still working on reading fluently, not being able to read fluently is not seen as troubling. If 1/4 to half of a first grade class is still working on reading fluently, it as well is not seen as a red flag. But if you shift those because the school's expectations are out-of-line with brain development (and parents reinforce this by holding back children who don't meet the "standard"), a child _who is developing perfectly normally_ will look behind, in comparison to the other children who are _also_ developing normally but have been retained a year.

A child's first few years of school often set the tone for the rest of their scholastic career. A child who views himself as "slow" or "behind" and a school that reinforces that belief may never achieve to the levels he could have. That self-perception is, in part, developed through comparison.

While fortunately these age related differences even out over time, they tend to even out in mid-later elementary after a child (and his school) has already decided what sort of student he is. If red shirting were rare, this would be less of an issue. I believe it can also mask actual delays that can signal a learning disability which is especially unfortunate because it can delay getting children help.

Thank you. Agree 100 percent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People - and schools - do it on purpose. Children test better when they're older, they find it easier to handle the excessive workload, and they're likely to be more capable athletically.

I find this statement to be very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But according to you, she's only doing well because of her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People - and schools - do it on purpose. Children test better when they're older, they find it easier to handle the excessive workload, and they're likely to be more capable athletically.

I find this statement to be very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But according to you, she's only doing well because of her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.

Where is that redshirting? She went on time, didn't she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People - and schools - do it on purpose. Children test better when they're older, they find it easier to handle the excessive workload, and they're likely to be more capable athletically.

I find this statement to be very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But according to you, she's only doing well because of her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.

Where is that redshirting? She went on time, didn't she.

Yeah, but she's still old for her grade. The statement that PP just made implies that DD is only doing well because she's old, not because she's smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People - and schools - do it on purpose. Children test better when they're older, they find it easier to handle the excessive workload, and they're likely to be more capable athletically.

I find this statement to be very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But according to you, she's only doing well because of her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.

Where is that redshirting? She went on time, didn't she.

Yeah, but she's still old for her grade. The statement that PP just made implies that DD is only doing well because she's old, not because she's smart.

Got it. I have a smart September child myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ridiculous that people do this but they do. Parents think it will give their kid an advantage and in this area that is what a lot of people are all about. I think its mostly about athletics, you know the parents who see lacrosse as their kid's ticket to the Ivy League before the kid is even born? If you don't know them yet you will living here!

Disagree. No dog in this fight. Know many parents of summer days who waited to start k, nothing to do with athletics or trying to get a leg up. Reason is schools, teachers expect things that are developmentally not appropriate. If schools don't match the curriculum to their students' developmental stage, some parents do it themselves. You may not like it for your kid who is a sprig bday and now one of the youngest.....do you find the curriculum the right fit? If so, great! Their are abstract concepts required for early reading and writing and math stages that if your brain isn't ready for, you struggle. Kids emotional health impacts their learning, if they are asked to do things their brains don't get yet, bc it can't, they feel awful and can easily be turned off to learning. Not a battle parents want to start in early elementary grades. But don't judge others that they had a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People - and schools - do it on purpose. Children test better when they're older, they find it easier to handle the excessive workload, and they're likely to be more capable athletically.

I find this statement to be very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But according to you, she's only doing well because of her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.

Where is that redshirting? She went on time, didn't she.

Yeah, but she's still old for her grade. The statement that PP just made implies that DD is only doing well because she's old, not because she's smart.

Nowhere does PP's statement imply that an older child does well ONLY because s/he is older.

[Anonymous]

You folks know that you're getting up in arms about something written 3 years ago right?

This is a zombie thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You folks know that you're getting up in arms about something written 3 years ago right?

This is a zombie thread.

But not a zombie topic by a long shot.