Do private school families start their kids a year later?

[Anonymous]

My DD is in a private school this year and so far she has been invited to 7 birthday parties and 4 of them were for a year older than what the normal grade should be. 2 of those are summer birthday (but not near Aug) but the other 2 were in the middle of the year. Her birthday is in Aug and these kids are turning 2 years older than her mid year. It is crazy

Do people do this on purpose to get in a school, for athletics, or do privates offer repeat grades more?

[Anonymous]

Ask the moms while you're at the parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in a private school this year and so far she has been invited to 7 birthday parties and 4 of them were for a year older than what the normal grade should be. 2 of those are summer birthday (but not near Aug) but the other 2 were in the middle of the year. Her birthday is in Aug and these kids are turning 2 years older than her mid year. It is crazy

Do people do this on purpose to get in a school, for athletics, or do privates offer repeat grades more?

It's done more with boys than with girls. Were any of these boy birthdays? The independent school parent body (a) has read research that boys take longer to develop; and (b) has the money to pay for childcare/another year of pre-school.

[Anonymous]

Here we go again . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in a private school this year and so far she has been invited to 7 birthday parties and 4 of them were for a year older than what the normal grade should be. 2 of those are summer birthday (but not near Aug) but the other 2 were in the middle of the year. Her birthday is in Aug and these kids are turning 2 years older than her mid year. It is crazy

Do people do this on purpose to get in a school, for athletics, or do privates offer repeat grades more?

Very common in both public and private schools. In our 1st grade (now going into 2nd) we have a boy born in April 2005 and a boy born in Aug 2006. The difference between them is HUGE.

[Anonymous]

It's ridiculous that people do this but they do. Parents think it will give their kid an advantage and in this area that is what a lot of people are all about. I think its mostly about athletics, you know the parents who see lacrosse as their kid's ticket to the Ivy League before the kid is even born? If you don't know them yet you will living here!

[Anonymous]

At or private school, boys had to be 5 by August; whereas, girls who turned 5 at the end of September were accepted into the kindergarten class. As a result, many parents with kids turning 5 in June and July also held their kids another year, because they didn't want their kids being the youngest.

[Anonymous]

this. to people who think that privates will let you skip K. Most wont.

[Anonymous]

Here we go...

Yes. Some people do this. Yes. Most people on DCUM think it is horrible. Yes. It will continue.

[Anonymous]

I wish people could hear themselves, and look back years later and reflect. No one asks at your job interview how old you were when you started K, were potty trained, said your first word, learned to read. It all works out in the end. The next time you see your doctor or lawyer ask if he was redshirted. That should make for interesting conversation.

[Anonymous]

Some private schools require it, at least for boys, so don't always blame the parents,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here we go...

Yes. Some people do this. Yes. Most people on DCUM think it is horrible. Yes. It will continue.

Why? A lot of my problems in school stemmed from my not reading on the expected schedule. Everyone worried. A few years later, I was reading the classics. Got a Ph.D. in a subject in the humanities.

A year or two delay would have made everyone happier. If there were an organized program of not starting kids on day long academics until 6 or 7 or even 8, I'd take it!

[Anonymous]

This debate often crops up and goes round and round. the DCUMers mostly think parents are trying to game the system and are highly judgmental of those who choose this route. Generally, they have very young children and have no perspective on how it truly isn't a big deal as kids get older.

Others of us understand that a child who isn't ready to be there is more of a problem for other kids than a child who is a bit older. And we are mature enough not to judge other parents for their personal choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here we go...

Yes. Some people do this. Yes. Most people on DCUM think it is horrible. Yes. It will continue.

Why? A lot of my problems in school stemmed from my not reading on the expected schedule. Everyone worried. A few years later, I was reading the classics. Got a Ph.D. in a subject in the humanities.

A year or two delay would have made everyone happier. If there were an organized program of not starting kids on day long academics until 6 or 7 or even 8, I'd take it!

I'm with you, 8:23. Don't most European nations (but not the British) start first grade at age seven, for good reason (not financially motivated)?

[Anonymous]

Whatever the pros and cons, it sure seems more common in private. Our son just finished freshman year at a private after switching from public, and while there were quite a few 'summer redshirts' among his public school friends, it's much more noticeable to us how many boys were way older -- freshman boys turning 16 mid year, not just spring/summer. Now that we're immersed in HS sports that angle is much clearer to us. (Probably naively thought it wouldn't make that big of a difference/would even out or was just for social/academic developmental reasons during grade school . . . now we can see it can make a huge difference for sports & it seems obvious that was the long term strategy with many of these families -- whether it's effective, fair, or not -- I am on the fence.)