Do private school families start their kids a year later?

[Anonymous]

This bugs me to death. My DD is one of the youngest in her private school. She has a late July birthday and they have an August cut off. Kids in her class are up to 2 years younger. In the younger grades she had to work harder than everyone else but now that she is older she has caught up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This bugs me to death. My DD is one of the youngest in her private school. She has a late July birthday and they have an August cut off. Kids in her class are up to 2 years younger. In the younger grades she had to work harder than everyone else but now that she is older she has caught up.

Two years older, you mean? If I read you right, that means a full 11 months older than the August cut off. And you reference multiple kids at or beyond 11 months older than cut off. If so, that's significant. Please tell us all what school that is! Help us be informed shoppers! TIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite a few children at our NWDC public school have to re-do 4th grade when they start at STA and NCS (maybe at other schools too). Seems very odd but it also suggests that it is school-driven rather than (entirely) parent-driven.

Also, to the extent that some redshirting is intended to give kids an advantage in sports, it seems that the sports teams/clubs could eliminate this issue by forming teams based on birthdate rather than by school year. Even schools teams could do this - for ex., must have a birthdate within such and such to qualify for varsity, jv, etc. There are always solutions. Again, it sounds like the schools might be driving this re: sports b/c the solution would be so easy.

Sorry but they shouldn't be accepted into the school. If they arent fit for the grade they are entering, they need to let the children in that are ready. My guess is that it is the legacy kids and money is at play, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I went to Potomac (and am now a 40 year old man). I transferred into Potomac from a McLean elementary school, and a requirement for me gaining acceptance was to repeat the 3rd grade at Potomac. I did. And it was a blessing. I went from being one of the 'dummies' to being on par with the class. I went to a great college and am a physician (who obviously doesn't have any patients this afternoon--hence wasting time on DCUM) with a great practice. My daughter is supposed to start at a public KG this year, but we are sending her to a private school, and , are going to keep her back a year as well. I think that the kids are more mature and better to handle school if they are a little older.

This is why schools need to have a cut of on age starting. It isn't fair to hold your kid back for an edge, no matter what it is. Height, maturity, sports, etc... It is given your child a better advantage over everyone else. I am not talking about a just turning 5yr old boy in Aug who still can't sit still in a circle. I am talking about parents that just decide to do it for ANY advantage.

I know MCPS have ages with sports but it still gives a child a whole year advantage if they wish. But yes there should be a minimum/maximum window for every year and only if you have to repeat a grade due to grades can it be broken.

[Anonymous]

My son is at a private school, April birthday, went on time, and is one of the youngest boys in the entire grade of about 60 students. There are two or three younger than him. It's crazy.

Lesson learned - if you want the kids to be the correct age, do not go to a school with a "junior kindergarten." Having JK as an option just encourages this practice, and the school has an incentive to fill the JK for revenue purposes, so they suggest it to parents who are otherwise expecting to go to K.

It creates a weird situation for sports too - the rec leagues are by age, not grade, so the kids he plays rec sports with are in the grade behind him. His friends and classmates played travel soccer the year before him, etc.
it sucks. I wish I could do it over and pick a new school and ask this question during admissions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I went to Potomac (and am now a 40 year old man). I transferred into Potomac from a McLean elementary school, and a requirement for me gaining acceptance was to repeat the 3rd grade at Potomac. I did. And it was a blessing. I went from being one of the 'dummies' to being on par with the class. I went to a great college and am a physician (who obviously doesn't have any patients this afternoon--hence wasting time on DCUM) with a great practice. My daughter is supposed to start at a public KG this year, but we are sending her to a private school, and , are going to keep her back a year as well. I think that the kids are more mature and better to handle school if they are a little older.

This is why schools need to have a cut of on age starting. It isn't fair to hold your kid back for an edge, no matter what it is. Height, maturity, sports, etc... It is given your child a better advantage over everyone else. I am not talking about a just turning 5yr old boy in Aug who still can't sit still in a circle. I am talking about parents that just decide to do it for ANY advantage.

I know MCPS have ages with sports but it still gives a child a whole year advantage if they wish. But yes there should be a minimum/maximum window for every year and only if you have to repeat a grade due to grades can it be broken.

Who told you that life was going to be fair? If they have a hard and fast cut off date, there are still going to be kids that are almost 12 months older than others. In the book Outliers, Gladwell says 40% of professional hockey players are born in the early months of the year (Jan. through March, I think). Why? Canadian hockey leagues base their teams on a child's age as of Jan. 1. The kids that are born in the early months of the year start out with an advantage that holds for the rest of their careers. It's not "fair," but what are you going to do about it?

By the way, my dc has an early fall birthday, so she would benefit from a "hard and fast" cut off date. I just think it's silly to expect children to all develop at the same rate and to try to force kids into a mold, whether they fit into it or not.

[Anonymous]

DCPS, at least in our little neck of the NWDC woods, so strongly encourages on time attendance that 30% of the classes in our comparable year have July through October birthdays. Yes, October is included there as they take a few kids who are after the deadline but demonstrate they can do what's needed. Point being, redshirting is predominately an independent school dynamic 'round here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This bugs me to death. My DD is one of the youngest in her private school. She has a late July birthday and they have an August cut off. Kids in her class are up to 2 years younger. In the younger grades she had to work harder than everyone else but now that she is older she has caught up.

Two years older, you mean? If I read you right, that means a full 11 months older than the August cut off. And you reference multiple kids at or beyond 11 months older than cut off. If so, that's significant. Please tell us all what school that is! Help us be informed shoppers! TIA.

I meant my DD is up to 2 years younger. A kid in my DS kindergarten is repeating for "maturity" only. I think in that case the parents can't stand their snowflake not being number 1 in the class. I had to deal with my DD having a "reading" problem at the beginning of first grade because while she was barely 6 there were almost 8 year olds in the class...such BS. My kids go to a parochial school in Maryland. A few friends hinted that I should red shirt my DD to give her the advantage but I didn't and didn't realize how extensive it was until we got into the school.

For the poster who mentioned DCPS, they encourage kids to start early/ on time because kids so many kids in poverty lose focus early.

For the PP who mentioned Gladwell's book, Gladwell also said that while being the oldest is an advantage holding your kid back has long term negative consequences. I am seeing this one of the kids that is 14 months older than my DD got put in the low math group this year. Now that DD is older and has had to learn to work harder to keep up she is starting to shine and is one of the top students but definitely was low average in K and 1st.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I went to Potomac (and am now a 40 year old man). I transferred into Potomac from a McLean elementary school, and a requirement for me gaining acceptance was to repeat the 3rd grade at Potomac. I did. And it was a blessing. I went from being one of the 'dummies' to being on par with the class. I went to a great college and am a physician (who obviously doesn't have any patients this afternoon--hence wasting time on DCUM) with a great practice. My daughter is supposed to start at a public KG this year, but we are sending her to a private school, and , are going to keep her back a year as well. I think that the kids are more mature and better to handle school if they are a little older.

This is why schools need to have a cut of on age starting. It isn't fair to hold your kid back for an edge, no matter what it is. Height, maturity, sports, etc... It is given your child a better advantage over everyone else. I am not talking about a just turning 5yr old boy in Aug who still can't sit still in a circle. I am talking about parents that just decide to do it for ANY advantage.

I know MCPS have ages with sports but it still gives a child a whole year advantage if they wish. But yes there should be a minimum/maximum window for every year and only if you have to repeat a grade due to grades can it be broken.

Who told you that life was going to be fair? If they have a hard and fast cut off date, there are still going to be kids that are almost 12 months older than others. In the book Outliers, Gladwell says 40% of professional hockey players are born in the early months of the year (Jan. through March, I think). Why? Canadian hockey leagues base their teams on a child's age as of Jan. 1. The kids that are born in the early months of the year start out with an advantage that holds for the rest of their careers. It's not "fair," but what are you going to do about it?

By the way, my dc has an early fall birthday, so she would benefit from a "hard and fast" cut off date. I just think it's silly to expect children to all develop at the same rate and to try to force kids into a mold, whether they fit into it or not.

I definitely agree. I know I am in the minority on this but I don't see this as "an edge" as a PP puts it over other kids. This is not a competition. This is a life. You do what's best for your kid and that's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This bugs me to death. My DD is one of the youngest in her private school. She has a late July birthday and they have an August cut off. Kids in her class are up to 2 years younger. In the younger grades she had to work harder than everyone else but now that she is older she has caught up.

Two years older, you mean? If I read you right, that means a full 11 months older than the August cut off. And you reference multiple kids at or beyond 11 months older than cut off. If so, that's significant. Please tell us all what school that is! Help us be informed shoppers! TIA.

I meant my DD is up to 2 years younger. A kid in my DS kindergarten is repeating for "maturity" only. I think in that case the parents can't stand their snowflake not being number 1 in the class. I had to deal with my DD having a "reading" problem at the beginning of first grade because while she was barely 6 there were almost 8 year olds in the class...such BS. My kids go to a parochial school in Maryland. A few friends hinted that I should red shirt my DD to give her the advantage but I didn't and didn't realize how extensive it was until we got into the school.

For the poster who mentioned DCPS, they encourage kids to start early/ on time because kids so many kids in poverty lose focus early.

For the PP who mentioned Gladwell's book, Gladwell also said that while being the oldest is an advantage holding your kid back has long term negative consequences. I am seeing this one of the kids that is 14 months older than my DD got put in the low math group this year. Now that DD is older and has had to learn to work harder to keep up she is starting to shine and is one of the top students but definitely was low average in K and 1st.

I doubt your DD's teacher based your child's reading "problem" on how she was reading relative to an 8 year old. My DS's birthday is late May and he has kids almost two years older than him in his class and he does well. You act as if the teacher teaches your DD materials a year ahead because there are older kids in the class and then marks your DD down for not being able to handle it. The teachers teach on grade level and if your child can't keep up, it has nothing to do with the age of the other kids. I think each child is different. Unless schools start doing classes based on birth month, there will always be kids who have a year advantage just because of the cut off.

[Anonymous]

^ exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This bugs me to death. My DD is one of the youngest in her private school. She has a late July birthday and they have an August cut off. Kids in her class are up to 2 years younger. In the younger grades she had to work harder than everyone else but now that she is older she has caught up.

Two years older, you mean? If I read you right, that means a full 11 months older than the August cut off. And you reference multiple kids at or beyond 11 months older than cut off. If so, that's significant. Please tell us all what school that is! Help us be informed shoppers! TIA.

I meant my DD is up to 2 years younger. A kid in my DS kindergarten is repeating for "maturity" only. I think in that case the parents can't stand their snowflake not being number 1 in the class. I had to deal with my DD having a "reading" problem at the beginning of first grade because while she was barely 6 there were almost 8 year olds in the class...such BS ....

Thanks for responding. I'm still trying to understand though how severe this red shirting is. What are the birth months of the 3-5 oldest kids in the class? All August of the year before the formal cutoff? Two in August, and three in July?

Also, what school is this? Sounds like a real problem. Are you planning to leave it?

[Anonymous]

For some reason, this topic riles DCUMers up. After reading a number of these threads (because I am holding my son back, a decision I reached after much reflection and conversations with educators and older mothers), I have decided that this is one of those topics on which DCUM simply does not represent the mainstream. In the real world, I simply do not see parents openly taking offense at the timing of education of someone else's children. Mixed-age classrooms used to be the norm and are viewed by many educators as a good thing. Look at a Montessori or Waldorf classroom. The "how dare they!!" DCUM response simply has no basis in child development research or logic. The crux of the argument seems to be that "my child should not have to consort with a child more than 12 months my child's senior", a simply ridiculous proposition. Are you going to shelter your child from school activities that involve more than one grade? What will your freshman bubble child do when she sees a senior in the hallways? If your child can't deal with human contact that is not exactly the same age as your child, how on earth will your child deal with other types of diversity and cultural differences?

The fact is, the language center of a typical boy's brain at 5 looks like the language center of a typical girl's brain at 3 but they are both expected to sit quietly and learn to read at age 5 on the normal public school track. Our system tries to teach very different pupils in exactly the same way. If I decide that my child is not ready for that at age 5, why on earth does that matter to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The fact is, the language center of a typical boy's brain at 5 looks like the language center of a typical girl's brain at 3

Citation please.

[Anonymous]

PP with the quesion of how extensive this is.... Most of the time the parents are really quiet about age when their kids are held back a year so I can't tell you the exact number. I would say it is very common for summer birthdays and even somewhat common for spring birthdays.

I knew three parents with younger siblings the same age as my DS. One had a spring birthday, another a summer birthday and another a fall birthday. Only the fall birthday started on time. The school isn't big so ancedotally that is a big number.

To the PP who says they teach to the standards of the grade not the standards of the students that are in that grade sorry that is not true at my school and I doubt that is true at most schools.

I'm sure there are kids who need to stay behind but based on the kids/ parents I know who are doing it are doing it to give their kids a perceived edge.IE Kids who can read fluently but need another year to mature.