Does it make sense for me to die so my family can live?

[Anonymous]

I hope you have learned something, and that you won't be in this situation again in 3-5 years, needing a parental bailout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope you have learned something, and that you won't be in this situation again in 3-5 years, needing a parental bailout.

You are a judgmental asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the comments but I understand how terrifying money woes can be. Have you considered getting a legal divorce but keeping your family intact as it is now? You can let your credit go down the tubes while your husband keeps his in good shape for the family. I think the creditors will not come after you forever and they couldn't get to anything owned by your husband. Might sound crazy but I'd consider it in your shoes.

I don't think your suggestion to file a divorce will solve her financial problem. It will add onto more emotional problem.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the entire post but life insurance policies will not pay out if you commit suicide. It's just not that easy.

[Anonymous]

It seems to be a bleeding heart theory that family is better off with you alive, I must say I share in your dilemma, with slightly different circumstances. I owe around $140k in student loans, and thanks to a now convicted accountant about $150k in back taxes. I have been married over 22 years and my kids are now 21 and 16, I have worked my whole life to try and provide for my family, but have hit a brick wall in dealing with the IRS, as of now they Levy my wages and take 80% of my income. In the past year we have since lost our home and my wife recently divorced me. I have no way to fix the problem, and filing BK does not get rid of my student loans or tax burden, I have a 250K life insurance policy that does pay with suicide after 2 years of holding the policy, which I have had for 7 years. The government won't allow me to earn enough to support my family or myself, so in the best interest of their future I have decided to spend the next few months providing my children and friends with some good memories, I am already 41 years old and have come to terms with the value of my life. My decision is not emotional, but logically honest. Every parent wants to give their children a chance in life, I have taught them for twenty years how to live in the world, now it is time to give them the ability to do the same. I am not crazy or suicidal, I am at peace with having made the decision, and will value the time I spend with them before moving on from this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to be a bleeding heart theory that family is better off with you alive, I must say I share in your dilemma, with slightly different circumstances. I owe around $140k in student loans, and thanks to a now convicted accountant about $150k in back taxes. I have been married over 22 years and my kids are now 21 and 16, I have worked my whole life to try and provide for my family, but have hit a brick wall in dealing with the IRS, as of now they Levy my wages and take 80% of my income. In the past year we have since lost our home and my wife recently divorced me. I have no way to fix the problem, and filing BK does not get rid of my student loans or tax burden, I have a 250K life insurance policy that does pay with suicide after 2 years of holding the policy, which I have had for 7 years. The government won't allow me to earn enough to support my family or myself, so in the best interest of their future I have decided to spend the next few months providing my children and friends with some good memories, I am already 41 years old and have come to terms with the value of my life. My decision is not emotional, but logically honest. Every parent wants to give their children a chance in life, I have taught them for twenty years how to live in the world, now it is time to give them the ability to do the same. I am not crazy or suicidal, I am at peace with having made the decision, and will value the time I spend with them before moving on from this world.

Your kids are going to be very angry with you. They won't agree that they are better off with you dead.

[Anonymous]

Please look into this. You may be a candidate for an offer in compromise.

http://www.irs.gov/uac/Taxpayer-Advocate-Service-6

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f656b.pdf

http://www.americanbar.org/content/dam/aba/publishing/newsquarterly/11sum_pro_bono_matters.authcheckdam.pdf

I have to run but I will try to find more links later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you have learned something, and that you won't be in this situation again in 3-5 years, needing a parental bailout.

You are a judgmental asshole.

So you want her coming back for support/bailouts again and again?

[Anonymous]

So you want her coming back for support/bailouts again and again?

The OP was contemplating suicide, and you want to shake your finger in her face and tell her you hoped "learned something." You have very little empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to be a bleeding heart theory that family is better off with you alive, I must say I share in your dilemma, with slightly different circumstances. I owe around $140k in student loans, and thanks to a now convicted accountant about $150k in back taxes. I have been married over 22 years and my kids are now 21 and 16, I have worked my whole life to try and provide for my family, but have hit a brick wall in dealing with the IRS, as of now they Levy my wages and take 80% of my income. In the past year we have since lost our home and my wife recently divorced me. I have no way to fix the problem, and filing BK does not get rid of my student loans or tax burden, I have a 250K life insurance policy that does pay with suicide after 2 years of holding the policy, which I have had for 7 years. The government won't allow me to earn enough to support my family or myself, so in the best interest of their future I have decided to spend the next few months providing my children and friends with some good memories, I am already 41 years old and have come to terms with the value of my life. My decision is not emotional, but logically honest. Every parent wants to give their children a chance in life, I have taught them for twenty years how to live in the world, now it is time to give them the ability to do the same. I am not crazy or suicidal, I am at peace with having made the decision, and will value the time I spend with them before moving on from this world.

Please talk to someone- a priest, a rabbi, a police officer, even your ex-wife, someone. There is help out there, your kids want you!

[Anonymous]

I am not crazy or suicidal, I am at peace with having made the decision, and will value the time I spend with them before moving on from this world.

I accept that you are at peace, but your children will not be. Maybe you can write them a long letter explaining your actions, but if they love you -- and it sounds like you have a loving relationship with them -- this will scar them forever. I'm not discounting the fact that you are in extremely dire straits now, and I don't think you're crazy. But as awful as the money situation is, this is something that is fixable. Your premature death is not something you will ever be able to "fix" in the hearts of your children.

[Anonymous]

No, please do not do such a painful thing to your family. A loved one is worth so much more than money.

[Anonymous]

You can negotiate the student loan debt with the government. I have a good friend who did this. He had over 100K in debt from undergrad and med school, and it was back when interest rates were 16% and higher, so the debt just kept accumulating until it was triple the original loan. He went to the government and managed to negotiate a settlement, for much, much less than what the loan balance was.

He basically told them that he was never going to be able to pay it off, and would just default on it if they didn't lower the amount. He managed to pay it off after that.

I think the IRS does this with back taxes as well - it's worth looking into.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

For the 41-year old father, the answer is to take under-the-table jobs which pay in cash and live off that. Even as supplemental income, as then the IRS won't know about it and can't touch it.

For the OP, start an in-home daycare. You're at home with yours kids anyway, so adding 2-3 more will be a big boost in income while not increasing your own childcare costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the 41-year old father, the answer is to take under-the-table jobs which pay in cash and live off that. Even as supplemental income, as then the IRS won't know about it and can't touch it.

For the OP, start an in-home daycare. You're at home with yours kids anyway, so adding 2-3 more will be a big boost in income while not increasing your own childcare costs.

The in home daycare idea is a good one. Also, if your field is in education or you're interested in it in any way, there is a great opportunity to work from home when the kids are in bed. Post an email address and I can tell you about it.

I'm glad you're back from the ledge. I hope for the best for you.