Grace Before Dinner -- Appropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only extreme ones I see here are the wacky anti-religionists. We are very liberal Episcopalians. We don't as a rule say grace before dinner. When its our turn to host a larger gathering, my midwestern Methodist friends are likely to initiate a quick grace before dinner is served. No one thinks anything of it because we're "family" and that's what that branch of the "family" does. Everyone bows their heads and says Amen. I've been in other gatherings with people from other religions and when a similar situation arises, I bow my head and say Amen. Never occurs to me to feel offended, oppressed, or anything else.

The poor FIL was under the impression he was having dinner with his family. He didn't try to proselytize anyone or call anyone out for being a heathen or infidel.

I'm generally liberal, but right now I tend to agree with the complaint that liberals can be the most intolerant of all if you don't agree with their particular way of doing things.

Agree wholeheartedly. It was a family dinner, not a proffessional luncheon.

Don't believe? Just take the words of thanks and channel them to the hosts for preparing and sharing. Easy.

I also agree that there is one or two very intollerant, anti religion posters who are posting repeatedly, who are not the OP.

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I'd be annoyed and offended.

As a guest, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. (I'm Jewish and used to going along with and respecting others' traditions, especially in their homes.)

[Anonymous]

Is it so hard for people to believe that they don't want a bible thumpers at the table?

[Anonymous]

I would have just along with it. It's customary for the oldest male to assume the "pater familias" role and say a few words of thanks before a meal. If you find that strange, well, you will have a hard row to hoe b/c you are really swimming upsteam against a lot of tradition. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only extreme ones I see here are the wacky anti-religionists. We are very liberal Episcopalians. We don't as a rule say grace before dinner. When its our turn to host a larger gathering, my midwestern Methodist friends are likely to initiate a quick grace before dinner is served. No one thinks anything of it because we're "family" and that's what that branch of the "family" does. Everyone bows their heads and says Amen. I've been in other gatherings with people from other religions and when a similar situation arises, I bow my head and say Amen. Never occurs to me to feel offended, oppressed, or anything else.

The poor FIL was under the impression he was having dinner with his family. He didn't try to proselytize anyone or call anyone out for being a heathen or infidel.

I'm generally liberal, but right now I tend to agree with the complaint that liberals can be the most intolerant of all if you don't agree with their particular way of doing things.

Sorry, nothing to do with liberal or conservative. Only common human decency. You don't go into someone else's house and hijack a dinner (with non-family) without asking unless you're trying to prove a point. FIL clearly was trying to win a battle in the "War on Christmas". Again, if this weren't FIL, but a step-sister who had converted to Islam, and she unilaterally decided to make everyone hold hands and engage in an Islamic prayer for the holiday season, the resident Christians here would be falling over themselves to condemn this breach of protocol and self-indulgent behavior. Of course, since it's their team at bat here, it's the most natural and proper thing imaginable. Again, "assumed privilege"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have just along with it. It's customary for the oldest male to assume the "pater familias" role and say a few words of thanks before a meal. If you find that strange, well, you will have a hard row to hoe b/c you are really swimming upsteam against a lot of tradition. Good luck.

It's also customary for women to stay home and care for children. However, the fact that I'm posting from work tells you that someone had to say, someone swam upstream against that tradition at somepoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have just along with it. It's customary for the oldest male to assume the "pater familias" role and say a few words of thanks before a meal. If you find that strange, well, you will have a hard row to hoe b/c you are really swimming upsteam against a lot of tradition. Good luck.

It's also customary for women to stay home and care for children. However, the fact that I'm posting from work tells you that someone had to say, someone swam upstream against that tradition at somepoint.

Not same thing. I am at work too. I guess you just gotta pick your battles. This one doesn't seem worth picking to me personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only extreme ones I see here are the wacky anti-religionists. We are very liberal Episcopalians. We don't as a rule say grace before dinner. When its our turn to host a larger gathering, my midwestern Methodist friends are likely to initiate a quick grace before dinner is served. No one thinks anything of it because we're "family" and that's what that branch of the "family" does. Everyone bows their heads and says Amen. I've been in other gatherings with people from other religions and when a similar situation arises, I bow my head and say Amen. Never occurs to me to feel offended, oppressed, or anything else.

The poor FIL was under the impression he was having dinner with his family. He didn't try to proselytize anyone or call anyone out for being a heathen or infidel.

I'm generally liberal, but right now I tend to agree with the complaint that liberals can be the most intolerant of all if you don't agree with their particular way of doing things.

Sorry, nothing to do with liberal or conservative. Only common human decency. You don't go into someone else's house and hijack a dinner (with non-family) without asking unless you're trying to prove a point. FIL clearly was trying to win a battle in the "War on Christmas". Again, if this weren't FIL, but a step-sister who had converted to Islam, and she unilaterally decided to make everyone hold hands and engage in an Islamic prayer for the holiday season, the resident Christians here would be falling over themselves to condemn this breach of protocol and self-indulgent behavior. Of course, since it's their team at bat here, it's the most natural and proper thing imaginable. Again, "assumed privilege"...

I wouldn't. I think people of faith all have things in common. I would welcome a blessing said in Islamic tradition, then a blessin said in Jewish tradition, then a blessing said in Catholic tradition, etc. I think it would be nice to honor all of the traditions b/c, as I said, they really do have a lot in common. I bet there is nothign offensive in any "Thanks for this good meal and all the blessings" in any faith tradition. I think it would be interesting to honor all and any faiths present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have just along with it. It's customary for the oldest male to assume the "pater familias" role and say a few words of thanks before a meal. If you find that strange, well, you will have a hard row to hoe b/c you are really swimming upsteam against a lot of tradition. Good luck.

It's also customary for women to stay home and care for children. However, the fact that I'm posting from work tells you that someone had to say, someone swam upstream against that tradition at somepoint.

Bingo! That's the "assumed privilege" part of it. Of course it's perfectly natural for the eldest Christian white male to compel everyone to hold hands and say grace to the Christian deity. Just as it would have been utterly unnatural for a woman, Jew, or Wiccan to have done so.

Same shit with "white privilege", "male privilege", etc... Stop swimming upstream against tradition and get me a beer, woman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have just along with it. It's customary for the oldest male to assume the "pater familias" role and say a few words of thanks before a meal. If you find that strange, well, you will have a hard row to hoe b/c you are really swimming upsteam against a lot of tradition. Good luck.

It's also customary for women to stay home and care for children. However, the fact that I'm posting from work tells you that someone had to say, someone swam upstream against that tradition at somepoint.

Not same thing. I am at work too. I guess you just gotta pick your battles. This one doesn't seem worth picking to me personally.

LOL, no nothing ever is the same thing, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only extreme ones I see here are the wacky anti-religionists. We are very liberal Episcopalians. We don't as a rule say grace before dinner. When its our turn to host a larger gathering, my midwestern Methodist friends are likely to initiate a quick grace before dinner is served. No one thinks anything of it because we're "family" and that's what that branch of the "family" does. Everyone bows their heads and says Amen. I've been in other gatherings with people from other religions and when a similar situation arises, I bow my head and say Amen. Never occurs to me to feel offended, oppressed, or anything else.

The poor FIL was under the impression he was having dinner with his family. He didn't try to proselytize anyone or call anyone out for being a heathen or infidel.

I'm generally liberal, but right now I tend to agree with the complaint that liberals can be the most intolerant of all if you don't agree with their particular way of doing things.

Sorry, nothing to do with liberal or conservative. Only common human decency. You don't go into someone else's house and hijack a dinner (with non-family) without asking unless you're trying to prove a point. FIL clearly was trying to win a battle in the "War on Christmas". Again, if this weren't FIL, but a step-sister who had converted to Islam, and she unilaterally decided to make everyone hold hands and engage in an Islamic prayer for the holiday season, the resident Christians here would be falling over themselves to condemn this breach of protocol and self-indulgent behavior. Of course, since it's their team at bat here, it's the most natural and proper thing imaginable. Again, "assumed privilege"...

I wouldn't. I think people of faith all have things in common. I would welcome a blessing said in Islamic tradition, then a blessin said in Jewish tradition, then a blessing said in Catholic tradition, etc. I think it would be nice to honor all of the traditions b/c, as I said, they really do have a lot in common. I bet there is nothign offensive in any "Thanks for this good meal and all the blessings" in any faith tradition. I think it would be interesting to honor all and any faiths present.

While it's nice that you hold those views, it's absurd that you seem to imply that's a majority position. To say your position is an outlier among modern Christians is an understatement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only extreme ones I see here are the wacky anti-religionists. We are very liberal Episcopalians. We don't as a rule say grace before dinner. When its our turn to host a larger gathering, my midwestern Methodist friends are likely to initiate a quick grace before dinner is served. No one thinks anything of it because we're "family" and that's what that branch of the "family" does. Everyone bows their heads and says Amen. I've been in other gatherings with people from other religions and when a similar situation arises, I bow my head and say Amen. Never occurs to me to feel offended, oppressed, or anything else.

The poor FIL was under the impression he was having dinner with his family. He didn't try to proselytize anyone or call anyone out for being a heathen or infidel.

I'm generally liberal, but right now I tend to agree with the complaint that liberals can be the most intolerant of all if you don't agree with their particular way of doing things.

Sorry, nothing to do with liberal or conservative. Only common human decency. You don't go into someone else's house and hijack a dinner (with non-family) without asking unless you're trying to prove a point. FIL clearly was trying to win a battle in the "War on Christmas". Again, if this weren't FIL, but a step-sister who had converted to Islam, and she unilaterally decided to make everyone hold hands and engage in an Islamic prayer for the holiday season, the resident Christians here would be falling over themselves to condemn this breach of protocol and self-indulgent behavior. Of course, since it's their team at bat here, it's the most natural and proper thing imaginable. Again, "assumed privilege"...

I wouldn't. I think people of faith all have things in common. I would welcome a blessing said in Islamic tradition, then a blessin said in Jewish tradition, then a blessing said in Catholic tradition, etc. I think it would be nice to honor all of the traditions b/c, as I said, they really do have a lot in common. I bet there is nothign offensive in any "Thanks for this good meal and all the blessings" in any faith tradition. I think it would be interesting to honor all and any faiths present.

While it's nice that you hold those views, it's absurd that you seem to imply that's a majority position. To say your position is an outlier among modern Christians is an understatement.

I agree that there is a subset of "Christians" who are close-minded and not very informed or educated about different faiths. I do not care for this attitude msyelf and do not conside it very Christian.

[Anonymous]

He's part of your family, and he wanted to say grace. It barely impacts you at all--you just have to sit there for a minute and ignore whatever he said. If he was asking you to lead the prayer, or something, I'd be more opposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's part of your family, and he wanted to say grace. It barely impacts you at all--you just have to sit there for a minute and ignore whatever he said.If he was asking you to lead the prayer, or something, I'd be more opposed.

Jesus, try to follow along. That's exactly what OP says happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's part of your family, and he wanted to say grace. It barely impacts you at all--you just have to sit there for a minute and ignore whatever he said.If he was asking you to lead the prayer, or something, I'd be more opposed.

Jesus, try to follow along. That's exactly what OP says happened.

Please try not to take the Lord's name in vain.