Children's books that drive you crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of more "bad message" books, we have one of those Golden books about Tootle the train. The moral of the story is that you have to stay on the track "no matter what." One day, Tootle finds a meadow filled with flowers and butterflies. She-- *gasp*-- goes off the track to frolic. Big mistake. Next time, when she tries to go back to the meadow, the other trains and train company are waiting in the meadow to catch her. Tootle is embarrassed, and now understands that she must stay on the track "no matter what."

What kind of message is that?

heh, I remember reading this as an assignment in a course called Histories of American Childhood in college. And yes, the "message" was what we discussed, as it relates to the era in which it was written (1940s).

[Anonymous]

For us Cars and Trucks and Things that go is not a bed time book. It doesn't go in the bedroom or we would be there all night.

I currently hate The Little Blue Truck in the City. The first one, where he pushes the Dump out of the mud with the animals is good. But the second one where he goes to the city and encounters all the rude cars and buses is really rude. I don't want my DS learning to say "Shove on Shorty" which is what the bus says to the truck. I'm getting good at making up stuff when we read this book.

And while I do love Goodnight Gorilla - I feel really bad for Mrs. Zookeeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand "Guess how much I love you". The main characters are Big Nutbrown Hare and Little Nutbrown Hare, and when Little Nutbrown tells his dad how much he loves him, Big Nutbrown just one-ups him the whole book. I find it very annoying.
I actually like all the Sandra Boynton books.

I just can't say "Nutbrown Hare" that may times with a straight face. But that may just be me.

hahaha I am the PP you quoted, I feel the exact same! Immature maybe, but really? Big Nutbrown?

Next time you read it, think "Little Brown Nut Hair" and "Big Brown Nut Hair". Makes it a little funnier.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand The Very Hungry Caterpillar! Also the spinoffs of When you Give a Mouse a Cookie. I always enjoyed the original, but talk about beating a dead horse. The Froggy books are such a burden to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Richard Scarry -- the "Cars, Trucks, and Things That Go" book is I swear like 70 pages long. I think DS deliberately chooses it for bedtime because it takes forever to read it. And you have to find this super teeny tiny bug "Goldbug" on nearly every page. It drives me insane. But...DS loves the book and the pictures are cute and interesting, so what's a mom gonna do, right?!

Love this thread. Yes, Cars and Trucks can be long but I've found that DS knows where goldbug is now, and the book moves fairly quicly because all he wants to do is locate Goldbug and turn the page.

Yeah, but doesn't he want to look at each and every vehicle? DS finds goldbug too, but then he wants to talk about the pickle truck! The cheese car! The witch on a broom! Takes forevahhhhh I feel my life draining away, please please DS just pick a book that doesn't take 25 min to read and one with an actually interesting plotline... .

What I do with this book is read like every 3-4 pages. My kid is almost 4 and has not noticed yet! The trick is to keep your finger in the spot for the last page you read, because he is always asking to go back to previous page to revisit something, and otherwise you will be caught.

Agreed - with Richard Scarry you have to try to do portion control, but I guess not every kid will let you get away with that... I love his books b/c my 3yo can look through them forever independently and he just talks about what he sees. His "Best Storybook Ever" has been a lifesaver on rainy days, long car rides, doctor office waits...

Re Curious George, definitely nonPC, but I find that more funny than anything else - I laughed out loud the first time I read the first story to DS1 and George was smoking a pipe! And the author has no qualms about calling people 'fat.' It's sort of priceless.

[Anonymous]

Guess How Much I Love You is my very least favorite book. Way to make a kid feel like crap and lie nothing he does is good enough.

I'm not a big fan of Curious George, but can excuse it as a product of its time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever picked up a book that you remember reading a kid, started to read it to your kid and realized "holy sh*t this is racist and terrible! How did anyone ever read this to me?" That's what happened when my mom brought over my Uncle Remus book.

Yes! My parents brought me a book from Williamsburg when I was a child called "Pocahantas, the little Indian Girl of Jamestown". Horrifying to read as an adult.

[Anonymous]

I love this thread! My DH absolutely loaths the froggy books.

The giving tree reminds me of the addicts I know and their parents. I've only read it to my kids a couple of times.

[Anonymous]

Scarry books are long but I read a few pages, like a chapter. I loathe the I Spy books because while there's no reading, those are hard! Also, it gets DS' mind wound up at bedtime which means he lays in bed talking to himself about the hidden pictures for a good hour. I utterly can't stand Fox in Socks. My tongue gets twisted every single time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand "Guess how much I love you". The main characters are Big Nutbrown Hare and Little Nutbrown Hare, and when Little Nutbrown tells his dad how much he loves him, Big Nutbrown just one-ups him the whole book. I find it very annoying.
I actually like all the Sandra Boynton books.

We're kindred spirits! I hate that book for the same reason. I also don't like the giving tree. The boy just takes and takes. Gone Girl makes it a verb "she giving treed me until I was nothing " or something close. Really resonated with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepiest books: I Love You Forever and Elf on the Shelf. Awful. I think the Giving Tree just isn't a children's book. It is incredibly sad and poignant about the role of the parent and the happy/blind selfishness of the child. To the person who asked about the "moral"... I think the message is that in the nature of this relationship the child never really appreciates the parents' sacrifice. I think it is a good book--just depressing and not for children!

Absolutely, thank you for putting this so well. The Giving Tree is an incredible book that's not really meant for children. I don't think of it as depressing, just a reflection on the nature of the parent/child relationship, like you said. I read this book just after giving birth, and as I sat there in terrible pain, and I felt crushed and broken physically, this book had an incredible resonance for me. Of course my body healed, but emotionally, parents give and give and give, out of true love, and kids give back in their own ways, but it is just different. I get the sense that people who take offense to this book are reading it in some sort of feminist way, or politically correct way (what an outrage that you give yourself completely to your child!), instead of as a simple yet deep take on what it means to sacrifice as a parent, and to love doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anything pink and from Scholastic!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever picked up a book that you remember reading a kid, started to read it to your kid and realized "holy sh*t this is racist and terrible! How did anyone ever read this to me?" That's what happened when my mom brought over my Uncle Remus book.

Yes! My parents brought me a book from Williamsburg when I was a child called "Pocahantas, the little Indian Girl of Jamestown". Horrifying to read as an adult.

Dr Seuss's If I Ran the Zoo is uncomfortable in spots. I just skip those parts or change the words.

[Anonymous]

Winnie the Pooh.

I can't wrap my mind around reading it aloud with a straight face. My son has already asked me why someone would write a story about a bear named after poop. Good question, kid.

I don't even know half the story...I have seen enough collectible figurines of him with his Hunny jar in my lifetime to know it's not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Winnie the Pooh.

I can't wrap my mind around reading it aloud with a straight face. My son has already asked me why someone would write a story about a bear named after poop. Good question, kid.

I don't even know half the story...I have seen enough collectible figurines of him with his Hunny jar in my lifetime to know it's not for me.

I think Disney kind of ruined that book. While not in my top ten, the original stories are nice. The fact that there was a book written called "The Tao of Pooh" is because there's more going on there.
But I should shut up and stick to ranting about books I hate! This is such a cathartic thread!