Children's books that drive you crazy

[Anonymous]

We are still mostly reading board books... translation: the weirdest "story lines" ever.
-Brown Bear, Brown Bear and Polar Bear, Polar Bear. Umm, can we have a storyline please? And I always read the zookeeper's line at the end with a really sarcastic, tired voice (in my head). I know I would be.
-We have a book called "Mouse on the Moon" wherein the climax of the story is discovering
THERE ARE MOON MICE AND LOTS OF CHEESE
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEESE TO EAT BEFORE YOU FLY BACK HOME?
I want to shoot myself as this is one of DD's current faves.

[Anonymous]

Bless all of you Giving Tree and I Love You Forever haters! It is so cathartic to admit to loathing these. I love shel silverstein's poems, but GT just sucks. And I Love You Forever is super duper creepy. Ew.

We're still in the phase where I pick the books, luckily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Richard Scarry -- the "Cars, Trucks, and Things That Go" book is I swear like 70 pages long. I think DS deliberately chooses it for bedtime because it takes forever to read it. And you have to find this super teeny tiny bug "Goldbug" on nearly every page. It drives me insane. But...DS loves the book and the pictures are cute and interesting, so what's a mom gonna do, right?!

Love this thread. Yes, Cars and Trucks can be long but I've found that DS knows where goldbug is now, and the book moves fairly quicly because all he wants to do is locate Goldbug and turn the page.

Yeah, but doesn't he want to look at each and every vehicle? DS finds goldbug too, but then he wants to talk about the pickle truck! The cheese car! The witch on a broom! Takes forevahhhhh I feel my life draining away, please please DS just pick a book that doesn't take 25 min to read and one with an actually interesting plotline... .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are still mostly reading board books... translation: the weirdest "story lines" ever.
-Brown Bear, Brown Bear and Polar Bear, Polar Bear. Umm, can we have a storyline please? And I always read the zookeeper's line at the end with a really sarcastic, tired voice (in my head). I know I would be.
-We have a book called "Mouse on the Moon" wherein the climax of the story is discovering
THERE ARE MOON MICE AND LOTS OF CHEESE
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEESE TO EAT BEFORE YOU FLY BACK HOME?
I want to shoot myself as this is one of DD's current faves.

LOL. I haven't heard of this Mouse book. I'm making a mental note to avoid it like heck in the library or bookshops. Or to give it to someone I don't particularly like at her baby shower.

[Anonymous]

The Story of Babar (where his mom gets killed on like the first two pages) and then he goes to the big city where he shacks up with a Rich Old Lady. SUPER WEIRD.

[Anonymous]

Curious George. In the first few pages the man in the yellow hat kidnaps George in a sack. Later in the book George spends some time in prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Story of Babar (where his mom gets killed on like the first two pages) and then he goes to the big city where he shacks up with a Rich Old Lady. SUPER WEIRD.

It is weird. And there are some homosexual characters in another Babar book, which is just odd.

Eloise. They are just long. I am not opposed to the concept, but like Eloise in Moscow is PAINFUL.

[Anonymous]

Hands down, Maisy takes a Bath. Its beyond creepy. Maisy runs a bath, gets a visit from Tallulah but tells her that its her bath time and she can't play right now. Maisy gets into the bath and the door rings again. She goes back down to answer the door, Tallulah pushes past her and goes upstairs. Tallulah takes off her clothes and gets into the bath with Maisy. So they can play together. I don't care about the could-be-contrived homosexuality in the book. Its that Tallulah is so pushy and who joins a friend in a bath??? Its just bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority, but I *hate* reading The Cat in the Hat. Monotonous, the Cat is annoying, and long.

I also think "I Love You Forever" is super creepy.

I agree. The mother in that book needs some serious therapy.

I hate The Giving Tree too. Its message: As a mother, your role is to give and give and give until you are depleted. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious George. In the first few pages the man in the yellow hat kidnaps George in a sack. Later in the book George spends some time in prison.

I love the non-politically correctness of the CG books.

And I love the Giving Tree. It's about unconditional love.

I don't care for SkippyJon Jones books. I know there are others that I don't like, but we rarely pull them off of the shelf, so the names escape me.

[Anonymous]

Brave Irene. Girl risks her life to deliver a dress to a duchess.

[Anonymous]

Not a fan of Goodnight Moon. The old lady whispering hush creeps me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Giving Tree.

I hate this friggin book. The tree is a total doormat. Really, it's happy in the end when it's just a stump?? Its sole purpose was to please the boy/man? Sure, it's noble and all to give and want nothing in return, but not when someone is destroying your very existence and calling. That's not love. I wish someone would rewrite it and create a more symbiotic relationship btwn the boy and tree. You know, boy grows into a man, makes $$ selling apples, expands his business by planting apple seeds and growing more seeds, selectively prunes branches to build a house, has a family and son plays in tree just like when he was a kid.. . Everybody is HAPPY! Yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Giving Tree.

I hate this friggin book. The tree is a total doormat. Really, it's happy in the end when it's just a stump?? Its sole purpose was to please the boy/man? Sure, it's noble and all to give and want nothing in return, but not when someone is destroying your very existence and calling. That's not love. I wish someone would rewrite it and create a more symbiotic relationship btwn the boy and tree. You know, boy grows into a man, makes $$ selling apples, expands his business by planting apple seeds and growing more seeds, selectively prunes branches to build a house, has a family and son plays in tree just like when he was a kid.. . Everybody is HAPPY! Yay!

Sorry, I went on a rant and forgot to mention what other books annoy me - pretty much all of Sandra Boynton's books.

[Anonymous]

My MIL gave us "I love you forever"--shocker.