Do you think I was insulting and disrespectful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homeschooling takes less time because the work gets done much faster when there are fewer students.

Please realize a HUGE amount of logistics time is embedded in regular classroom hours to shepherd the students to open their books, prepare their pencil/paper, gather all the work, line up, share resources, move into groups, waiting for whispers to die down etc... and that's not even counting time lost if there are real behavior issues (which there will be during a normal classroom year).

This!
And I do not homeschool, but do suffer under the illusion that there are 6 hours if straight up instruction in traditional school.

Yes, but I also don't suffer the illusion that homeschooling is better than traditional schooling. As a previous poster noted, half the people homeschooling these days are barely literate themselves. And homeschooling doesn't equate to the kind of education you get with a private tutor (a comparison I've heard before).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me start from the beginning; my friend called me about 2 weeks ago and asked me when I was going to be "child free" so we could go out to lunch and go shopping. I told her that the kids would be starting school this week and I would be kid free then. We decided to get together yesterday. I invited her over for coffee, brunch and then we were going to go to the mall afterward. She arrives at my house with her 3rd grade dd ( she homeschools). She explains to me that her dd didn't want to stay home with her dad so she had to bring her. I told her "no problem." While we were chatting and having coffee her dd asks if she can go play in my dd's room. I explain that she is free to play or watch TV in the playroom but my girls don't like anyone in their room unless they are there. I also explained that the only thing in their room is their bed and their clothes so it was "boring" anyway. The girl copped an attitude the rest of the time. When we were ready to leave to go shopping she starts saying " if you are going to the mall I don't want to stay long." I tell my friend that maybe we should reschedule shopping for another day.I wake up to an email from my friend telling me that she and her dd were very hurt after leaving my house. They both were made to feel unwanted and disrespected ( she talked about how I wouldn't even let her dd play in either of my dd's rooms and how she was disappointed that I didn't trust her child....WTF, really!!)
Does anyone feel like I was rude or disrespectful? Before anyone asks, NO there was no more to the story. I told her dd she could play in the playroom but my kids room was off limits and I only said let's reschedule shopping for another day because her dd made it clear she was not interested in shopping at the mall. Beside, my friend is the one that requested a kid free get together. Thoughts?

The story - as you tell it - suggests that your friend is being oversensitive. However the part in bold suggets to me that there is more to the story. Between the time the little girl "copped an attitude" and you suggested the rescheduling, I wonder how truly welcoming you were to the little girl, and to what extent you let your irritation show. Is it possible that you were less than a gracious host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My reply to her email:

"I'm sorry you feel that way Suzy. Janie was welcome to play in our playroom. My girls value their privacy, therefore, we don't allow other people in their rooms without their permission. When we were leaving for the mall your daughter expressed disappointment in going, so I thought it was best that we reschedule for a day when we can both be child free. I had a great day with you and look forward to going out with you again."

Tis is perfect, OP. I would use it verbatim.

[Anonymous]

Come on, people! The OP is not to blame in this, regardless of whether she was "gracious" enough to her friend's petulant child. I have an 8 year old who often gets bored when I drag him everywhere with me. I don't expect my friends to entertain him and I DO expect my child to be respectful to others. The girl's mother should have realized this was a bad idea and accepted the raincheck graciously, instead of blaming OP.