Teenager Smoking pot

[Anonymous]

16:24 and with more detail I take back my recommendation. This seems pretty serious to me, not a kid who is just out occasionally partying. You say "at least" every other day meaning at times its every day. Thats dependence. While studying? This is a child who can't control herself.

Since your DH isn't on board I think you need professional advice. Go talk to a therapist who works with kids with substance abuse issues and work out a plan. perhaps if you are seeing a professional about it your DH will listen. Either way, you do need professional advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:24 and with more detail I take back my recommendation. This seems pretty serious to me, not a kid who is just out occasionally partying. You say "at least" every other day meaning at times its every day. Thats dependence. While studying? This is a child who can't control herself.

Since your DH isn't on board I think you need professional advice. Go talk to a therapist who works with kids with substance abuse issues and work out a plan. perhaps if you are seeing a professional about it your DH will listen. Either way, you do need professional advice.

PP here. Yes she is not a partier, heavy socializer, doesn't drink, isn't out at weird hours of the night or anything like that. She has a close group of 3-4 friends that are all decent kids who are 'going places' and while they all use pot i don't think any of her friends use as heavily as she does.

DH and I have been pretty strict in general regarding upbringing and she's listened and continues to listen to us for the most part without an attitude, except for pot, which DH and I fought over her in 10th grade and first tried the grades thing and when that didn't work because there was no consequence, we felt utterly defeated this year.

Counseling for us on how we should handle it sounds like a good idea. I have actually looked to send her to one but I am apprehensive at this point because it's the summer before senior year and I don't want to push her or have something that completely disrupts her focus on colleges and future. Also we are worried if we forced her into counseling that it might backfire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:16:24 and with more detail I take back my recommendation. This seems pretty serious to me, not a kid who is just out occasionally partying. You say "at least" every other day meaning at times its every day. Thats dependence. While studying? This is a child who can't control herself.

Since your DH isn't on board I think you need professional advice. Go talk to a therapist who works with kids with substance abuse issues and work out a plan. perhaps if you are seeing a professional about it your DH will listen. Either way, you do need professional advice.

PP here. Yes she is not a partier, heavy socializer, doesn't drink, isn't out at weird hours of the night or anything like that. She has a close group of 3-4 friends that are all decent kids who are 'going places' and while they all use pot i don't think any of her friends use as heavily as she does.

DH and I have been pretty strict in general regarding upbringing and she's listened and continues to listen to us for the most part without an attitude, except for pot, which DH and I fought over her in 10th grade and first tried the grades thing and when that didn't work because there was no consequence, we felt utterly defeated this year.

Counseling for us on how we should handle it sounds like a good idea. I have actually looked to send her to one but I am apprehensive at this point because it's the summer before senior year and I don't want to push her or have something that completely disrupts her focus on colleges and future. Also we are worried if we forced her into counseling that it might backfire.

You can't force her into counseling, which is why I suggested it for yourself, but you should not be so invested in her college applications that you don't get her what she needs. She can get therapy and still apply to college. This idea that you have to let her do what she wants because she's applying to colleges does not serve her well at all. She will then go to college and will likely get into more serious issues if you don't deal with it while she's under your roof.

Frankly, it sounds like she's gotten the sense that she can do what she wants as long as she gets good grades and gets into a good college. This is not a healthy dynamic.