Keep the Poor Students in Poor Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That is true; I know some very bright kids who have upper middle class parents ( 800K and above income).

What part of the word "middle" is challenging for you?

There are more people over 85 in this country than there are people making over 400K. Are 95 year olds now middle aged?

Middle class, verging up upper middle class, mom with a household income right around 100K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do understand the resentment others feel because so many families, like you, think FA is a right. But, why stop at thinking your child deserves the same education that others receive? Why not go to a Mercedes dealer and ask for a discount because other DCs are “afforded” one. Why not go to a realtor and ask for a discount on a house because other DCs are “afforded” a large house? Good public education is a right. Private education is not a right. The reason why we are "afforded" the education is because we can afford it.

You clearly do not understand the history of America. People in American very rarely are able to move up the social structure - it is a myth. Why would you stand in the way of someone trying to better themselves. I hope we are not neighbors b/c I would never want to live near anyone as uneducated as you.

My dad has a 6th grade education. He is 91, black and born in a rural part of VA. He busted his ass to send me to college and now I am a lawyer. I don't have any generational wealth. I have enormous student loans. I've never had anything given to me and or any family to help me. Even if my dad could have gone to college, he would not have been able to go to any state universities. They didn't accept black people. Therefore, I would not have even had the advantage of getting into college based on my parents attending. That means that even though I have a college education, I certainly do not have the advantages that many people on this list serv have.

I doubt that you have the same story. You don't know what the story is for people who apply for financial aid. In addition, just be happy that you are not poor.

There is a warped sense of entitlement to this post. Your story, as admirable and as sad (wrt your father) as it is does not *entitle* you to financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do understand the resentment others feel because so many families, like you, think FA is a right. But, why stop at thinking your child deserves the same education that others receive? Why not go to a Mercedes dealer and ask for a discount because other DCs are “afforded” one. Why not go to a realtor and ask for a discount on a house because other DCs are “afforded” a large house? Good public education is a right. Private education is not a right. The reason why we are "afforded" the education is because we can afford it.

You clearly do not understand the history of America. People in American very rarely are able to move up the social structure - it is a myth. Why would you stand in the way of someone trying to better themselves. I hope we are not neighbors b/c I would never want to live near anyone as uneducated as you.

My dad has a 6th grade education. He is 91, black and born in a rural part of VA. He busted his ass to send me to college and now I am a lawyer. I don't have any generational wealth. I have enormous student loans. I've never had anything given to me and or any family to help me. Even if my dad could have gone to college, he would not have been able to go to any state universities. They didn't accept black people. Therefore, I would not have even had the advantage of getting into college based on my parents attending. That means that even though I have a college education, I certainly do not have the advantages that many people on this list serv have.

I doubt that you have the same story. You don't know what the story is for people who apply for financial aid. In addition, just be happy that you are not poor.

There is a warped sense of entitlement to this post. Your story, as admirable and as sad (wrt your father) as it is does not *entitle* you to financial aid.

Not PP but if the school offers her Financial Aid then Yees, she is entitled to it. Again, be upset at the schools.

[Anonymous]

If your dad is currently 91, and he was still working to "bust his ass" when you were going to college, just how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The anger that you often see on this board is that after paying $30,000 + for our own DCs to get an education we are then asked to pay more for your children.

No, you have it reversed. After funding the school for your child and mine, you then choose to spend another 30k+ for your kid.

That is, I assume you are talking about taxes for public schools. If you are talking about financial aid donations, you're just an ass.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes. I am paying 27,000 a year and that is what private school is supposed to be PRIVATE Public school is everywhere. If you cannot afford private, then go to public

Ha ha, that is funny. I bet you look at average SAT scores and college placement when choosing a school though. If your DC's teacher spent all her time on remedial reading you would NOT be happy, right. Who do you think keeps the academic bar high ? Smart kids are given an incentive to enroll in form of FA. Not all lower middle class kids are rocket scientists and not all rich kids are dumb, dull and dim witted, but what you DON"T have being admitted to a private school is a dumb AND poor kid, so don't worry : your largess is saved for the bright kids who are asked to tutor yours each day in class for free and the school is being "generous" to your kind as well by admitting them in the first place. Perhaps your child scored a 99.9% on the WISC and got none wrong on the ERB, but I doubt it. Unless that is true, your DC was "given" a spot as well.

While I find the use of the word "dumb" offensive - I do know that kids with average scores are admitted with FA.

[Anonymous]

No snark here, just genuinely trying to understand. For the PP who talked about keeping private schools "private" or anyone else who opposes FA in all forms, a couple of questions...

Presumably a school without FA would only have students in something like the top 5% of households in terms of SES. Is that the ideal for you and why?

Can you see any drawbacks to that scenario? If not, do you see your child having meaningful exposure to people in other SES brackets? If so, where? If not, do you see any problems with that?

(asking as a full freight parent who supports FA for a variety of reasons)

[Anonymous]

At one of our schools they offered a school sponsored summer trip. The school paid full fair for a mother, daughter, and the mother’s friend. It was supposed to be an optional school trip for the kids. The mother was very vocal about receiving the aid and thought it what she deserved because “she doesn’t make very much money”. A lot of the families wanted their kids to attend this trip, but they didn’t because they couldn’t afford it. Why did the school pay for these three people to go?
At one of our schools, a parent was complaining to me because FA was not extended to ski club. This woman was really angry because her child couldn’t ski for free. Ski club is an option (and anyone who has kids in ski club knows that it’s the clothes that cost the most given they rent skis). Was the school supposed to pay for the clothes too?
I give a lot to the annual fund, but I do understand the resentment that people have toward FA recipients because of the complaints and information that some of the FA families discuss. The families who decide not to go on the summer trip or enroll in the ski club because they can’t afford it are offended when the FA recipients complain and share.

[Anonymous]

PP- I can totally understand being annoyed with FA being misused in some way. Though I think that some of the optionals should be offered to FA recipients if they would be the only ones not able to attend or if the optional is associated with a school activity (orchestra, chorus, etc.) that the child has actively been participating in. (though I fail to see why mom's friend should ever be paid for, and mom only makes sense to me if parents had to go along for the child to be allowed to attend). But surely not all of the FA recipients at your school(s) act like this? Maybe I'm just oblivious, or maybe it's just a difference between schools, but I've never heard a FA recipient at DC's school bragging about being on FA or complaining about not getting extras with FA. Then again, I've also never met any of the FA recipients with million dollar houses driving brand new Jaguars that people mention on this board either. At any rate, you sound like you have legit complaints about how FA is disbursed in some cases.

I'm really curious to know the thoughts of the people who take a no FA ever stance on these boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP- I can totally understand being annoyed with FA being misused in some way. Though I think that some of the optionals should be offered to FA recipients if they would be the only ones not able to attend or if the optional is associated with a school activity (orchestra, chorus, etc.) that the child has actively been participating in. (though I fail to see why mom's friend should ever be paid for, and mom only makes sense to me if parents had to go along for the child to be allowed to attend). But surely not all of the FA recipients at your school(s) act like this? Maybe I'm just oblivious, or maybe it's just a difference between schools, but I've never heard a FA recipient at DC's school bragging about being on FA or complaining about not getting extras with FA. Then again, I've also never met any of the FA recipients with million dollar houses driving brand new Jaguars that people mention on this board either. At any rate, you sound like you have legit complaints about how FA is disbursed in some cases.

I'm really curious to know the thoughts of the people who take a no FA ever stance on these boards.

OP here, and this gets to the heart off my original question. What's the no FA stance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Unless your child scored none wrong on the ERB, pipe down. Your school is only giving FA to bright kids and is only doing it so that their test scores will make the rest of the school look good. No one is being "given" any thing. It is the brain power of these bright kids that earns your school its reputation, maintains its reputation and, later largely establishes the intellectual environment in which your child will be educated. My DC gets a lot of aid and spends most of his class time graciously helping his classmates who " don't understand".

Boy, I wish this were the case at my school. The family I know of has several bright and several not so bright children. One of which is a sheer terror and has punched children without any repurcussions. I think children like these probably will end up reinforcing the very stereotypes that they are trying to get rid of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Unless your child scored none wrong on the ERB, pipe down. Your school is only giving FA to bright kids and is only doing it so that their test scores will make the rest of the school look good. No one is being "given" any thing. It is the brain power of these bright kids that earns your school its reputation, maintains its reputation and, later largely establishes the intellectual environment in which your child will be educated. My DC gets a lot of aid and spends most of his class time graciously helping his classmates who " don't understand".

Boy, I wish this were the case at my school. The family I know of has several bright and several not so bright children. One of which is a sheer terror and has punched children without any repurcussions. I think children like these probably will end up reinforcing the very stereotypes that they are trying to get rid of.[/quote

And what exactly are those stereotypes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No snark here, just genuinely trying to understand. For the PP who talked about keeping private schools "private" or anyone else who opposes FA in all forms, a couple of questions...
Presumably a school without FA would only have students in something like the top 5% of households in terms of SES. Is that the ideal for you and why?
Can you see any drawbacks to that scenario? If not, do you see your child having meaningful exposure to people in other SES brackets? If so, where? If not, do you see any problems with that?
(asking as a full freight parent who supports FA for a variety of reasons)

I pay for private school because I want my child to be with children of like minded parents--emphasis on education, respect, good manners. Placing children of a different SES that do not behave nicely, have the same values can foster resentment in their non FA peers. And like Obama said about bussing kids around...at the end of the day they have to come back to their home and deal with the problems there.
If a school gives FA to children with like-minded families and that are ready for the academic rigor then I have no problem with itt. I only have a problem when they use these minorities as tokens...it's not good for them or for the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is true; I know some very bright kids who have upper middle class parents ( 800K and above income).

What part of the word "middle" is challenging for you?

There are more people over 85 in this country than there are people making over 400K. Are 95 year olds now middle aged?

Middle class, verging up upper middle class, mom with a household income right around 100K.

Above poster: Ho hum.... yes, WE all know that statistically middle class is defined as a single person with HHI opf 75 K or higher or family of four w/ HHI 120K or higher. I SAID : UPPER MIDDLE CLASS you are on a forum called DC Urban Moms. We are not " in the rest of the country". Upper middle class in this town is a lot more than 400k a year HHI. If you want to get picky: SES is determined by far more than HHI. It is also education, profession, etc.. Upper class on the other hand is determined by inherited multi-gernerational industrial tycoon kind of wealth,( the Gates children,the Pews, the Fords, royalty, etc...) A law firm partner who grew up poor and whose parents were farmers, may make 2 million a year, but he will never be "upper class". He will always be Upper Middle class. There are A LOT of them in this town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No snark here, just genuinely trying to understand. For the PP who talked about keeping private schools "private" or anyone else who opposes FA in all forms, a couple of questions...
Presumably a school without FA would only have students in something like the top 5% of households in terms of SES. Is that the ideal for you and why?
Can you see any drawbacks to that scenario? If not, do you see your child having meaningful exposure to people in other SES brackets? If so, where? If not, do you see any problems with that?
(asking as a full freight parent who supports FA for a variety of reasons)

I pay for private school because I want my child to be with children of like minded parents--emphasis on education, respect, good manners. Placing children of a different SES that do not behave nicely, have the same values can foster resentment in their non FA peers. And like Obama said about bussing kids around...at the end of the day they have to come back to their home and deal with the problems there.
If a school gives FA to children with like-minded families and that are ready for the academic rigor then I have no problem with itt. I only have a problem when they use these minorities as tokens...it's not good for them or for the school.

Excuse me, are you a lurker from Peoria or something? I have to ask because I have lived in Washington for 20 years and have NEVER heard anyone in this town spew such nonsense as your above post. Are you just being a troll? What is your tactic : post the most grievous thing you can to instigate a response and "up the hits" to the site?

Line by line refute: " Placing children who do not behave nicely may foster resentment in their non FA receiving peers."
1) not all kids from upper middle class homes (those paying full tuition) are polite. Some yell at their Nanny as if she were dirt. Some bully others. Some stick out their tongue at the teacher when her back is turned. Some use the N word. Some say, "why is Jenny so poor?" Meanwhile Jenny's parents are both doctors , attendings at an inner city hospital and paying off combined 600k in student loans.

2) far from being tokens, the "minorities" uh um... at my DC's school have Masters degrees from Cambridge and serve in the President's cabinet, are executives at the World Bank, and in some cases royalty. They also give ten of thousands a year to the FA fund. Many are also alumnae of Big 3 schools themselves. In some cases they are third generation Washington elite.