How would you react to this kid's birthday party invitation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on with the "it's not polite to assume you're getting gifts" and therefore don't tell people to bring a can of soup to your party. It's an 8 year old's birthday party for crying out loud! Of course gifts are involved! Who goes to a child's birthday party and doesn't bring a gift? It's not like the invitation says "sweaters from The Gap only". She's asking for food donations in lieu of a gift. If you find that soooo beyond the realm of proper etiquette bring a board game. Everyone needs to lighten up.

I totally agree! Also, if you don't want to donate to the charity, then don't. All you "impolite to assume there will be gifts people" should take some of your own advice. The party girl would NEVER assume a gift will be given so if you don't want to bring something to donate, you will not be disappointing her in the least.

[Anonymous]

Those of you who are against the presumption that there will be gifts, are you OK with kids immediately taking all the gifts to a charity? If you kid is invited over to the birthday child's house, notices her present isn't anywhere to be seen, and is told "We gave all the presents to charity. We never intended to keep any of them," will that be OK with you?

[Anonymous]

What an amazing idea! Love it! Go for it.

[Anonymous]

You want crass? We got an invitation from a family that expects us to bring a gift AND a food donation. Both! Then they sent out an e-mail REMINDING everyone that just in case they didn't see it on the original invitation, they should bring food cans to the party. Last time we went to this kid's party, I brought cans and a very cheap gift, thinking the girl was being so generous I should at least get her a little something. But then I realized, they expected a gift, too. The dad said, "This way, she learns that when she gets something, she also gives something."

Ahem. Pardon me, dad, but that is not HER giving something. This is asking the guests to give her something AND demanding that the guests also give her something additional that she can donate. HER giving something would be her getting gifts like every other kid, going through them and then choosing one or two to give to the children's hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's too much like just asking for cash. "No gifts" is fine, as is returning, giving away, or selling anything I have given.

I'd rather choose my own charities, thanks.

79 cents for a can of beans? Myou are a control freak.

[Anonymous]

PP, you missed the point.

[Anonymous]

You want crass? We got an invitation from a family that expects us to bring a gift AND a food donation. Both! Then they sent out an e-mail REMINDING everyone that just in case they didn't see it on the original invitation, they should bring food cans to the party. Last time we went to this kid's party, I brought cans and a very cheap gift, thinking the girl was being so generous I should at least get her a little something. But then I realized, they expected a gift, too. The dad said, "This way, she learns that when she gets something, she also gives something."

Ahem. Pardon me, dad, but that is not HER giving something. This is asking the guests to give her something AND demanding that the guests also give her something additional that she can donate. HER giving something would be her getting gifts like every other kid, going through them and then choosing one or two to give to the children's hospital.

Big deal. If this is your definition of crass, you don't get out much.

Please don't attend the party.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I cannot believe that posters don't like this type of gifting idea. Then don't participate. It's not like you have to show your receipt, proof of donating, at the door.

What about: No Gifts, Please. If You Are So Inclined, NAME OF PLACE is One of DC's Favorite Causes/Charities.

[Anonymous]

Okay a gift and a donation, that is insanity.

[Anonymous]

Some people really have to look hard to find something to complain about in life. How horrible that you were asked to bring a can of food for a charity.... the INHUMANITY of it! How dare they claim this are the bday child's idea!!!

Get over your rich righteous selves and help your community (or stay home).

[Anonymous]

The thing is that it's not the kid's idea. It's the parents' idea.

[Anonymous]

Who cares whose idea it was?

It's a great idea!

[Anonymous]

I'm not crazy about the idea. We have almost one birthday party per weekend between our two kids (neighborhood friends, preschool friends, and new class friends). Frankly, it's enough effort to figure out the logistics (locations, car pools, even sometimes costumes). I really don't want to have something else to remember. My guess is that a quarter of the guests won't recall whatever the request regarding gifts is, and they or their kids will feel guilty or left out. I'm looking forward to the days when our kids have much smaller parties (probably next year for daughter when she's in first grade), but until then I'd make things as easy as possible for the parents. Personally, I'd encourage smaller parties at an earlier age. That would seem to take a bit of the edge off of some of the over-the-top-yet-pretty-impersonal parties.

[Anonymous]

How wrong you are! The charity idea to give to the Humane Society was her idea. She said she did not want all that "stuff" to clutter her room and, she said the animals could use things a lot more than she can, she is 8 and has a charitable heart. I do not understand the animosity towards this type of party, she wants to socialize not receive gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How wrong you are! The charity idea to give to the Humane Society was her idea. She said she did not want all that "stuff" to clutter her room and, she said the animals could use things a lot more than she can, she is 8 and has a charitable heart. I do not understand the animosity towards this type of party, she wants to socialize not receive gifts.

Not buying it!