How would you react to this kid's birthday party invitation?

[Anonymous]

DC is turning 8 this year. We're planning a large party with about 30 friends, and their parents and siblings will also be invited. We (DC included) want to have a no gifts party and instead ask people to bring canned or non-perishable foods to take to our local food bank. Would you like this idea?

[Anonymous]

Fine with me, it's her party.

[Anonymous]

GREAT! A kid who realizes that others need food and he/she doesn't really need another game/toy.

[Anonymous]

We hosted a housewarming like this and got tons of food to donate. We also know a child who asked for donations for animal shelter. It was lovely and my DS enjoyed getting a bunch of toys and supplies for dogs that we brought. Good learning experience as well.

[Anonymous]

We did similar -- one year DD asked for items to donate to a shelter, and another year she asked for books and toys to donate to a child center in a poor area. It worked well in both cases, and she felt great about her decision in both cases.

[Anonymous]

I would love it- I'm sure you'll get some snark - just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a very nice and generous idea. I do have a question about this though - I've seen a lot of these parties (no gift children's bday parties) on this board. Is this a new thing in the DC area? Is this the norm? When I was a kid we all brought gifts to each other's parties. Is it considered selfish or something nowadays to have a birthday party with gifts for kids? I promise this is an innocent inquiry. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

PP -- was it the norm to have 30 kids at the party, when you were growing up?

When I was a kid, we invited maybe 8 kids. 8 presents is a reasonable amount of presents for a kid to get I think (and each child just brought ONE present... not two or three as often happens now.)

When you invite the whole class or grade level of a school the presents can get seriously out of hand.

[Anonymous]

My children have been invited to several similar parties. I don't think it will be a new idea to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is turning 8 this year. We're planning a large party with about 30 friends, and their parents and siblings will also be invited. We (DC included) want to have a no gifts party and instead ask people to bring canned or non-perishable foods to take to our local food bank. Would you like this idea?

Little girl i know (she is 8 now too) always solicits funds for some cause (Save the Tigers or something) for her birthday in lieu of gifts. Mom puts out a shoebox and invites checks written out *to the organization*

It's cool and different.

[Anonymous]

We've been to a few of these and I like the idea - a lot! I agree with a PP that when you invite a lot of kids to the party, the presents get really out of hand. I'm also fine with no goody bags!

[Anonymous]

You received an invite. Go, or don't go. Your choice. But whichever you choose, be gracious and not a gossip.

We have a party every year centered around my daughter and the families she knows. We get maybe eighty people with neighbors, kids, and adults. Everyone loves it. (or maybe some don't, but they don't come)

[Anonymous]

I would never, EVER say anything to the child / to my child / to an adult in the drop-off line, but ...

I would be irritated. I would bring a can of soup and play along, but this trend bothers me.

I'm tired of being hit up for Steve's favorite cause, and starting at age 8 doesn't make it more palatable. Coworkers asking for $ so they can Walk for Fingernail Cancer. Wedding couples asking me to buy part of a milk cow for a family in Mozambique. ALL of my friends' 25 year old kids hitting me up for $$ for the non-profits they started in order to look good so they can get admitted to a top-5 MBA program. Mustaches for Kids.

Enough. With the ersatz creative ways to ask me for cash and cash equivalents.

If Anabel's mom thinks Anabel has too much stuff, then 1. she should stop buying Anabel so much stuff herself the other 363 days a year. 2. She should say "your presence is the only gift requested" on the kids invite.

Done, boom. Anabel's mom, stop using me as a pawn in your quest to demonstrate selflessness to Anabel.

[Anonymous]

And, a better "lesson" for Anabel would be to make Anabel sell 85% of her toys and books at a consignment event and send that cash to charity. THAT is a lesson that will stick much longer than having Anabel ask me to pick up extra soup at Giant using my income to do so.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great, and that pp is very cynical. You would otherwise spend a greater amount of $ on a gift, no? (Greater then the cost of a can or two of soup.) So it's not quite the same as being hit up at the office to sponsor somebody's walkathon or somesuch.
Anyway, my DD asked for donations to a charity instead of gifts at her last party. Several parents expressed how much they liked the idea, and two out of the 12 kids chose to give a traditional gift instead. No biggie. You can always give whatever gift you wish.