Party etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how are you so certain they are having this party - the one you're not invited to?

Yes, they are. Other friends are attending and assuming we will be there as they are asking us about it. We know pretty much everyone invited - all our kids are friends/friendly from when they attended school together.

How do they invite people? Maybe yours got lost in the mail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.

+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.

No, they are having the party and it is the usual party as per what others are saying.

Everyone assumes we are invited so they raise it in conversation. This party is often the first one of the summer.

Id probably get someone im friends with to nonchalantly ask the host if I was coming. That way you will know if an oversight or intentional. If intentional then I would not invite them to mine.

We have mulled that, but don't necessarily want to reveal that we were not invited if that is the intent. Folks assume we are invited or they would not be raising it with us - at least that's my guess.

You are EXHAUSTING. What are you saying when people are telling you about the party? This is some middle school BS you've got going on here. I wonder what your husband thinks about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t invite them, how are you going to answer the question of why they aren't invited next year to yours? Imagine the scenario where you were inadvertently left off of the email list.

“I’m so sorry - I must’ve mistyped your name when sending out the list.”

Sure, Jan.

You've never done that?

They have been invited before, they have the correct address in the address book. People aren't generally typing every address by hand every time. So, they have the address just didn't use it.

If I go to type in my friend Allison's email address I might end up typing in my cousin Allison's email address instead. People make mistakes. Unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how are you so certain they are having this party - the one you're not invited to?

+1

because everyone is talking about it with us - they are all attending and they assume we are as well.

check your spam? texts? make sure you are not invited

mention to a friend you never heard about it

if they purposely do not invite you then you should absolutely NOT invite them - Nope. It's not to be spiteful but if they are intentionally leaving you out then so be it but you are not friends if that is the case

we've done all of that - spam, texts, emails, etc. there is no contact. there's no way we can't claim we haven't heard about it as people are talking about it with us, assuming we are coming.

That you never heard of the invitation, dim wit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...any new perspectives here?

Are you OP? You got 5 pages of responses and you want more? Honestly, I can totally understand why they didn't invite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...any new perspectives here?

Are you OP? You got 5 pages of responses and you want more? Honestly, I can totally understand why they didn't invite you.

Update: We are invited. Typo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some crazy middle school tit for tat.

If you like them, invite them. If you don't like them, don't invite them.

This.

I invite people I want to spend time to my parties. I don't invite people I don't want to spend time with. It's not that complicated.

Agree. But what about when someone is invited for a while then not invited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.

+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.

No, they are having the party and it is the usual party as per what others are saying.

Everyone assumes we are invited so they raise it in conversation. This party is often the first one of the summer.

Id probably get someone im friends with to nonchalantly ask the host if I was coming. That way you will know if an oversight or intentional. If intentional then I would not invite them to mine.

We have mulled that, but don't necessarily want to reveal that we were not invited if that is the intent. Folks assume we are invited or they would not be raising it with us - at least that's my guess.

You are EXHAUSTING. What are you saying when people are telling you about the party? This is some middle school BS you've got going on here. I wonder what your husband thinks about this.

TBH, probably has been harder on him.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why this thread has been triggering to a few folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Generally like the DH. The DW can be a lot."

Sounds like you don't truly care for them and they may feel the same way. They come because you invite them and aren't that bad, but they could take or leave you.

+1. Also people think their personal opinions of others are private unless voiced but I can ALWAYS tell when someone doesn't really like me. Especially if they like my spouse more. Maybe not in a single interaction, but over the course of years of interacting with them? Yes.

She knows you don't really care for her, OP. And like you, probably just decided "why am I inviting this person who obviously doesn't like me very much into my home every year?" and just decided to stop. This is something people start to do in middle age. You get tired of putting on a good face with certain people and just let it go. You can do the same.