I'm preparing to support my kids financially forever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:With the rise of AI, I'm realizing that I will need to support my kids financially forever. We are stopping at 2 kids. I'm a doctor and I think aspects of my job are safe but the competition to get into medicine and other AI saf(ish) jobs will be too much. I'm expecting to pay for downpayment, my grandkids, etc. Are you all planning accordingly?

Well, no shit. Since we are not going to live forever...maybe another 20 years (till 80) if we have a good running, we are not thinking forever. But, here is our plan.

- continue living a MC life even though we are UMC.
- pay fully for college (and college years), and make sure that they go to state flagship on merit scholarship. No use wasting money on expensive college when jobs are going to go away. Make them major in in-demand major. Encourage them to continue to get more education and skills to become more resilient.
- pay fully for their wedding.
- pay fully for setting up their first rented apartment when they get a job in another city - furniture, furnishing, gadgets and appliances, all digital devices, sports gear, exercise gear, luggage, first professional wardrobe. First 6 months of rent. New car. 20K seed money.
- let the kids stay free with us in our home for as long as they want. Including their spouse and kids. If they want to stay forever? Ok.
- provide childcare, pay for a nanny and cleaner if they are living away from us and have small kids.
- let them stay on our medical insurance until they are 25. Even if they are working.
- make them bank 2 years of their salary first, before they get married. encourage them to find the right partner and marry early. encourage them to date for marriage.
- be open to building an ADU in our backyard or extending our house.
- let our savings remain as is, live/save our fat pension, give them the non-taxable cash gift each year.

WTF am I reading? Are your kids incapable idiots?

Nope. Extremely capable kids.

Just giving them the economic leg-ups in their youth that we can afford to give. We are not wealthy, we are slightly UMC.

Oh - we will also buy personal robots powered by AI for them and us - 40K a pop - if it ever comes on the market. The subsequent savings and benefits will be enormous.

Paying for their house cleaner?? You sound insane. If my kid was incapable of supporting themselves I certainly wouldn’t be encouraging them to get married and procreate

Hmmm...I'd rather pay for a house cleaner than mani-pedis, hair color at hairdressers, pets, starbucks, booze/wine, flowers, designer anything or luxury car.

The best return for money in terms of happiness, reducing stress, a happy married life, and buying back time with your family - is a house cleaner.

My gift of choice for parents of young kids will always be - money for nanny/helper(even if a parent is SAH), landscaping company for mowing and a bi-weekly house cleaner. Because this is when they need help and this is when they are not making enough to spring for these services.

I am ok if your kids cannot afford to get married and procreate. Not my monkeys, not my circus. I will make sure that I support my kids to get over this hump. Sooner or later, they will build wealth as they spend more years earning and have leg ups.

And if there will be no jobs because of AI and societal collapse - well, the AC are coming back to our home to raise a family. Failure is not an option. We are fine if others follow the "swim or sink" philosophy for their own kids.

We will follow the model of families around the world and over the centuries. American dream and self-centeredness is not sustainable. Why follow that?

There will be plenty of jobs. You will turn your kids in lazy leeches and they will be depressed and unsatisfied with themselves. No self respecting adult wants mommy paying your their entire life and expenses

Now, now. This is just jealousy talking, and you know it. There are cultures where kids don't turn into lazy leeches. Go travel some.

Perhaps if you are taking living with parents as adults, but those adults also contribute to the household expenses and upkeep. You are talking about buying your kid (and their spouse) a house/paying their rent, and their nanny, and their housekeeper, and their grander- sorry, that is bananas and you have a screw loose if you think that is normal and necessary

Normal for us. Abnormal for you.

First of all, why would children live with parents as adults, if parents have not helped them and set them up for success? Yes, ACs in my culture also contribute to the household expenses and upkeep if they live with their parents, but only when they are financially firmly on their feet, with couple years of income already compounding interest in their retirement accounts. Otherwise, it is disgusting and exploitative of the parents. I am aghast when people make their own kids pay rent when they enter the job market and are staying with them.

Look around and see which adults in their early 30s - who are not trust fund babies, who come from a modest background, who have normal jobs & average income and who have modest savings - are buying the million dollar homes in the desirable neighborhoods? These are whose kids with parents with equally modest jobs and incomes had planned for the future and were able to bankroll and help their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With the rise of AI, I'm realizing that I will need to support my kids financially forever. We are stopping at 2 kids. I'm a doctor and I think aspects of my job are safe but the competition to get into medicine and other AI saf(ish) jobs will be too much. I'm expecting to pay for downpayment, my grandkids, etc. Are you all planning accordingly?

Well, no shit. Since we are not going to live forever...maybe another 20 years (till 80) if we have a good running, we are not thinking forever. But, here is our plan.

- continue living a MC life even though we are UMC.
- pay fully for college (and college years), and make sure that they go to state flagship on merit scholarship. No use wasting money on expensive college when jobs are going to go away. Make them major in in-demand major. Encourage them to continue to get more education and skills to become more resilient.
- pay fully for their wedding.
- pay fully for setting up their first rented apartment when they get a job in another city - furniture, furnishing, gadgets and appliances, all digital devices, sports gear, exercise gear, luggage, first professional wardrobe. First 6 months of rent. New car. 20K seed money.
- let the kids stay free with us in our home for as long as they want. Including their spouse and kids. If they want to stay forever? Ok.
- provide childcare, pay for a nanny and cleaner if they are living away from us and have small kids.
- let them stay on our medical insurance until they are 25. Even if they are working.
- make them bank 2 years of their salary first, before they get married. encourage them to find the right partner and marry early. encourage them to date for marriage.
- be open to building an ADU in our backyard or extending our house.
- let our savings remain as is, live/save our fat pension, give them the non-taxable cash gift each year.

WTF am I reading? Are your kids incapable idiots?

Nope. Extremely capable kids.

Just giving them the economic leg-ups in their youth that we can afford to give. We are not wealthy, we are slightly UMC.

Oh - we will also buy personal robots powered by AI for them and us - 40K a pop - if it ever comes on the market. The subsequent savings and benefits will be enormous.

Paying for their house cleaner?? You sound insane. If my kid was incapable of supporting themselves I certainly wouldn’t be encouraging them to get married and procreate

Hmmm...I'd rather pay for a house cleaner than mani-pedis, hair color at hairdressers, pets, starbucks, booze/wine, flowers, designer anything or luxury car.

The best return for money in terms of happiness, reducing stress, a happy married life, and buying back time with your family - is a house cleaner.

My gift of choice for parents of young kids will always be - money for nanny/helper(even if a parent is SAH), landscaping company for mowing and a bi-weekly house cleaner. Because this is when they need help and this is when they are not making enough to spring for these services.

I am ok if your kids cannot afford to get married and procreate. Not my monkeys, not my circus. I will make sure that I support my kids to get over this hump. Sooner or later, they will build wealth as they spend more years earning and have leg ups.

And if there will be no jobs because of AI and societal collapse - well, the AC are coming back to our home to raise a family. Failure is not an option. We are fine if others follow the "swim or sink" philosophy for their own kids.

We will follow the model of families around the world and over the centuries. American dream and self-centeredness is not sustainable. Why follow that?

If there are no jobs your unemployed kid will have plenty of time to clean their house and take care of their kids. Maybe you should just pay them to clean their own house. Now they are employed and have a clean house. Win win

You have a poverty mind-set, stuck on the first level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. There will always be some jobs and wages. Because they will always need consumers. Otherwise who is Amazon selling to?

And consumers who have the education, support, time, basics and resources - can have a better chance to thrive in the new world. So, no need for them to clean their own house, when they can outsource/automate the menial low value but essential jobs and buy back their time for more worthwhile stuff.

Like what? They aren’t working.

Hey, they will be the innovators, thinkers, policy makers, strategists, creators, engineers, doctors, researchers, scientists, teachers! People who are actually using their college education. The best brains will be able to use AI in revolutionary ways. And these people will need - family, support, education, continuity, hope, money - to thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With the rise of AI, I'm realizing that I will need to support my kids financially forever. We are stopping at 2 kids. I'm a doctor and I think aspects of my job are safe but the competition to get into medicine and other AI saf(ish) jobs will be too much. I'm expecting to pay for downpayment, my grandkids, etc. Are you all planning accordingly?

Well, no shit. Since we are not going to live forever...maybe another 20 years (till 80) if we have a good running, we are not thinking forever. But, here is our plan.

- continue living a MC life even though we are UMC.
- pay fully for college (and college years), and make sure that they go to state flagship on merit scholarship. No use wasting money on expensive college when jobs are going to go away. Make them major in in-demand major. Encourage them to continue to get more education and skills to become more resilient.
- pay fully for their wedding.
- pay fully for setting up their first rented apartment when they get a job in another city - furniture, furnishing, gadgets and appliances, all digital devices, sports gear, exercise gear, luggage, first professional wardrobe. First 6 months of rent. New car. 20K seed money.
- let the kids stay free with us in our home for as long as they want. Including their spouse and kids. If they want to stay forever? Ok.
- provide childcare, pay for a nanny and cleaner if they are living away from us and have small kids.
- let them stay on our medical insurance until they are 25. Even if they are working.
- make them bank 2 years of their salary first, before they get married. encourage them to find the right partner and marry early. encourage them to date for marriage.
- be open to building an ADU in our backyard or extending our house.
- let our savings remain as is, live/save our fat pension, give them the non-taxable cash gift each year.

WTF am I reading? Are your kids incapable idiots?

Nope. Extremely capable kids.

Just giving them the economic leg-ups in their youth that we can afford to give. We are not wealthy, we are slightly UMC.

Oh - we will also buy personal robots powered by AI for them and us - 40K a pop - if it ever comes on the market. The subsequent savings and benefits will be enormous.

Paying for their house cleaner?? You sound insane. If my kid was incapable of supporting themselves I certainly wouldn’t be encouraging them to get married and procreate

Hmmm...I'd rather pay for a house cleaner than mani-pedis, hair color at hairdressers, pets, starbucks, booze/wine, flowers, designer anything or luxury car.

The best return for money in terms of happiness, reducing stress, a happy married life, and buying back time with your family - is a house cleaner.

My gift of choice for parents of young kids will always be - money for nanny/helper(even if a parent is SAH), landscaping company for mowing and a bi-weekly house cleaner. Because this is when they need help and this is when they are not making enough to spring for these services.

I am ok if your kids cannot afford to get married and procreate. Not my monkeys, not my circus. I will make sure that I support my kids to get over this hump. Sooner or later, they will build wealth as they spend more years earning and have leg ups.

And if there will be no jobs because of AI and societal collapse - well, the AC are coming back to our home to raise a family. Failure is not an option. We are fine if others follow the "swim or sink" philosophy for their own kids.

We will follow the model of families around the world and over the centuries. American dream and self-centeredness is not sustainable. Why follow that?

If there are no jobs your unemployed kid will have plenty of time to clean their house and take care of their kids. Maybe you should just pay them to clean their own house. Now they are employed and have a clean house. Win win

You have a poverty mind-set, stuck on the first level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. There will always be some jobs and wages. Because they will always need consumers. Otherwise who is Amazon selling to?

And consumers who have the education, support, time, basics and resources - can have a better chance to thrive in the new world. So, no need for them to clean their own house, when they can outsource/automate the menial low value but essential jobs and buy back their time for more worthwhile stuff.

Like what? They aren’t working.

Hey, they will be the innovators, thinkers, policy makers, strategists, creators, engineers, doctors, researchers, scientists, teachers! People who are actually using their college education. The best brains will be able to use AI in revolutionary ways. And these people will need - family, support, education, continuity, hope, money - to thrive.

Great. So they will have a job and can support themselves

[Anonymous]

I believe there are alot of extremes in this thread but one thing I agree with some is that I'm VERY concerned for the job prospects of my two kids. One is a freshman in college and the other a junior in high school. I don't have the money like OP but I am trying to live as below my means as possible with the expectations that my kids will need a lot of help in the future. What that help will be, I don't know. But I feel like we will have to circle the wagons in a few years. I hope not. But I'm worried for the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start worrying when chatbots can help me

Yeah , you all need to relax. ai is so incompetent.

[Anonymous]

I do worry about my kids, but not so much that I'm willing to derail my retirement plans. I've planned and saved to pay for their education, including any professional school they need for their desired career. I'll also buy them an economy car when they turn 16-18 (not there yet, so don't know, but selfishly, I want them to drive themselves around as soon as possible). They have a enough money in a trust fund from grandparents to use for a house or a wedding, whichever they prefer. I see no reason to keep grinding to provide them with more. At some point, you have to let your kids sink or swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start worrying when chatbots can help me

Yeah , you all need to relax. ai is so incompetent.

For now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandkids. That’s hilarious. Gen Z is going to “Children of Men” the world because and just make the most of the crumbs they get as the oceans boil.

Well, Grandkids are not going to happen without help and support. That's for sure. We are not going to sit it out and die.

I come from the unbroken lineage of our first human ancestors. I am sure my ancestors saw the worst of worst and still lived. Some lived in the time of peace and prosperity, most in the times of war, disease, famine, rape, slavery and death. So throw in global warming, ecological and societal collapse, AI and whatever. No biggie. Some people and some lineage will survive. But if you don't reproduce then your gene will not survive.

Hey, even billionaires know this. They are using surrogates to create many offsprings now. Also Eugenics.

We will survive because we never had blindfolds on our eyes. The ones who lived off the labor of others and eating the milk and cream - now that group will be fuxed.

Billionaires and eugenics? What idiot thinks that’s a good idea. Elon Musk has some mental illness and he wants 50 kids. That’s not a man with all his facilities. Trump is a billionaire thanks to corruption, shakedowns and illegal dealings. His offspring already offer nothing to this world. Ivanka married into another corrupt family whose sole reason for living is to amass as much money as humanly possible. If that means they need to be slumlords and dealing with Middle Eastern thugs so be it.

Don’t romanticize billionaires. And eugenics? What is wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong with me. If I don't study the billionaires and get prepared, then I will be a sitting duck. Why is Bill Gates, Wall Street, Chinese millionaires, Saudi men, drug lords buying all American farmlands? What do they know that we don't?

Trump has been propped up as a puppet leader because all of the democratic institutions must be dismantled for billionaires to profit in the near future. Otherwise you think this sharting diaper wearing buffoon has the capacity to be a President?

So, with my limited financial capacity, I will do everything to ensure that my kids do ok in the future and my family does ok. Not trying to do something revolutionary. Just following the wisdom of people, civilizations, cultures outside of the majority American culture - and survive.

How is studying billionaires going to help you or me? The reason they are buying up American land is because they can and their greed takes priority over doing the right thing. Investors buy the land, become the landlords of the farmers and as owners of the farms they get the government subsidies.

Iran and Russia were able to buy some farmland too. Just a small amount but still, why are lawmakers giving away the Midwest?

Even worse are billionaires from the Middle East who buy land in poor African countries. Saudi Arabia has created a huge greenhouse in Ethiopia, a country that knows hunger. The Saudis grow fruits and vegetables and 50 tons a day are shipped to Dubai, Jeddah and other Middle Eastern locations.

We have a president who is deeply involved personally with the Saudi Prince. All kinds of deals going on between Trump, Jared Kushner and Sheikh Mohammed al-Amoudi. Nothing to do with the American people. But go ahead MAGAs, keep cheering him on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With the rise of AI, I'm realizing that I will need to support my kids financially forever. We are stopping at 2 kids. I'm a doctor and I think aspects of my job are safe but the competition to get into medicine and other AI saf(ish) jobs will be too much. I'm expecting to pay for downpayment, my grandkids, etc. Are you all planning accordingly?

You are crippling them already with this mindset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got gun license for both my kids and also bought them guns. If need be, we will protect the homestead from marauding looters.

Looters won’t come in blazing hot so that you can recognize them you fool they will be friendly and helpful and then double cross you when your guard is down. Rambo is fiction, not real life. You think the dangerous people who intend to harm you will simply announce their presence from a distance so that you can shoot them? SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my parents started sharing their gifting plan, one of my siblings’ spouses suddenly wanted to stop working and be a SAHD. He was “burnt out”. Another sibling-in-law started sending even more money to their own parents.

That’s easy to avoid if it bothers them. Rich parents had an irrevocable trust for our children and put money in it every year. We would send info on what they needed and they would send the money directly to the camp or activity or whatever it was. Parents paid directly schools. We would get yearly gifting but that’s not enough to just quit a job. They bought us a house and other necessities but we still had to work to pay taxes, heat, etc.

They created generation skipping trusts . Now that they are gone their children get generous yearly payments and the grandchildren each have their separate money in trusts for their needs. Their future great grand children are covered too.

They were in the top 1% but you don’t need to be. Why can’t you wealthy people make arrangements where you supplement their income and save some for future grandchildren. Don’t hold onto all your money until you’re old.

The issue is that the spouses are using in-law support to be lazy or to fund their own extended family. FIL paying for private school and college? Great, I'll quit my job and say I'm a SAHD, but really golf all day because my wife + in-laws can do all the real work, or great, I'll send my parents and failure-to-launch sibling $60k a year with the funds that freed up. It's different because your own kids have the work ethic you taught them / spouses may not. But of course you can at least protect the money from a divorce with a trust.

[Anonymous]

Nope.
Not planning to support our children forever.

[Anonymous]

We're keeping our house with four bedroom suites in case there is a prolonged downturn in the economy and our two adult children need to live with us to make ends meet. DH and I have no debt and have just retired. We hope for the best but are being conservative with our spending to make sure it is there for future needs.

[Anonymous]

People tend to forget that the Great Depression lasted over a decade and it took a world war to bring us out of it.

[Anonymous]

I’m more concerned about a market correction than AI taking everyone’s job.

With the high expense, I don’t see how most small and medium sized businesses can adopt AI in the near future.

Generally what the average person thinks will happen doesn’t.