Helicopter parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All ivies except Cornell. They are like ants at the rest - the heavily curated experiences the parents manufactured for the kids to get into the ivies shifts over to targeting IB or MBB internships

Ha! Cornell parent here. There are definitely helicopter parents as evidenced by the parents FB group. I nearly lost it when a mom posted asking for how to get the schedule for the bus that runs through campus and town. I responded that it’s her kid’s job to learn how to navigate these type of situations and figure out how to reach out to the resources on campus to find the schedule. Some other mom scolded me for my response saying that the kids are studying so much and that it’s okay to help with things like this. 😂😂😂

OP—they are on every campus. Don’t be one.

Kids are so much faster figuring out bus systems on their phone anyways. At one student welcome day, a current junior said they had to learn to do laundry in the dorm when they moved in freshman year. One admitted kid turned to their parent and exclaimed: "what? don't you learn that before you get to college?"

Students in cities definitely count on their apps to check their bus or train (T if you’re in Boston) for delays or changes. One sad story my daughter told me that her train was delayed because someone ran in front of the train.

My daughter found laundry service pretty quickly but if you use the washers and dryers they are self explanatory. A simple look at tips on laundry will tell you to read the labels, what colors to wash together, air dry or not. No teaching necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

I'm sure your kids are capable of finding the sink in the bathroom and carrying the Brita back to their room. Right?

The sink used by all those kids? "Excuse me Larlo can you stop brushing so I can get to that sink to fill this pitcher with water?"

They wait their turn or come back later. Has your child never had to share something before?

This made me think of what a typical scenario in this situation would be for my autistic niece. “Oh dear, I was going to fill my pitcher up,”. Toothbrusher - “I’ll come get you when I’m done”. Niece. - “that’s a great idea!” (Said in a child’s voice but she’s 21”. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also a prof, and i wish I could get you guys to hover in the right way. Call your kid every day and ask him if he has visited the career center yet. Find out what services are offered at the library, what special workshops on using footnotes correctly or what have you and encourage your child to go. Find out what tutoring services are available and encourage your child to go. If they have any group projects, ask them to make sure they are meeting and meeting milestones etc. For every story about "Larla's mother orders her pizza when she doesn't like what they are serving in the seemcafeteria" there's another one that begins with "I'm not sure this student has ever visited s the library." Make sure the credits from junior year abroad transferred. Get them to have someone look at their resume. If you're reading the syllabus (which you shouldn't be), make sure they get all the extra credit points by doing all the extra credit assignments.

Well, this seems like an incredibly useful post. Does it resonate with anyone who has kids currently in college? My older two accepted no parental interference (nor did they need it), but I still have hopes for my youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also a prof, and i wish I could get you guys to hover in the right way. Call your kid every day and ask him if he has visited the career center yet. Find out what services are offered at the library, what special workshops on using footnotes correctly or what have you and encourage your child to go. Find out what tutoring services are available and encourage your child to go. If they have any group projects, ask them to make sure they are meeting and meeting milestones etc. For every story about "Larla's mother orders her pizza when she doesn't like what they are serving in the cafeteria" there's another one that begins with "I'm not sure this student has ever visited the library." Make sure the credits from junior year abroad transferred. Get them to have someone look at their resume. If you're reading the syllabus (which you shouldn't be), make sure they get all the extra credit points by doing all the extra credit assignments.

+1. How’s about “read the syllabus”. My kid groused when he was seriously ill so didn’t go to his foreign language class. His final grade was marked down. He wanted to complain “if someone had told me, I would have gone barfing” but participation grading was clearly laid out in the syllabus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are many definitions of helicopter parents, and sometimes very good reasons why they would hover.

I don't use social media, so unless you're one of my best friends, you wouldn't realize I'm a helicopter parent to my ASD/ADHD college kid. I feel no guilt or shame - quite the contrary. It's my duty to monitor from afar.

Jesus Christ.

PP you replied to. Unless you've got a child with special needs yourself, shame on you for criticizing.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they still parent as such when kid is in college? What colleges/universities have you found helicopter parents?

Why do you care? You and your kid live your lives. Other people live theirs. What does it matter?

[Anonymous]

I never thought about this until now, but it’s funny how kids that get into elite schools get accused of being helicoptered and manufactured by parents, yet the parent page is very hands off. Meanwhile my other kids parent page is insanity micromanaging everything.

[Anonymous]

So many really judgy parents on here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they still parent as such when kid is in college? What colleges/universities have you found helicopter parents?

Why do you care? You and your kid live your lives. Other people live theirs. What does it matter?

Some of those helicopter parents affect their own kid's interactions with other kids/making friends. But you already knew that.