Helicopter parents

[Anonymous]

I have honestly never comment on my kids school page. I joined when they were admitted. I look at it about once a month or so. I occasionally find useful information. It is possible the less than kind remarks are removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Modern day helicoptering (I am looking 👀 at you DCUM). “Young Larlo has graduated from his $90K/year college, but he is welcome to live in his twin bed boyhood room so he save for a down payment. If we do charge him rent, we will deposit all of it in a special account and happily return this money when he moves out.” Is this the new independence?

In this economy with its cost of housing, yes. Your snark is not landing in the way you thought it would.

These kids always have the choice to live with a few roommates, but why would they when mom and dad make dinner every night?

[Anonymous]

It’s not difficult to understand. These parents simply expect their children to look after them when they grow old. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Modern day helicoptering (I am looking 👀 at you DCUM). “Young Larlo has graduated from his $90K/year college, but he is welcome to live in his twin bed boyhood room so he save for a down payment. If we do charge him rent, we will deposit all of it in a special account and happily return this money when he moves out.” Is this the new independence?

In this economy with its cost of housing, yes. Your snark is not landing in the way you thought it would.

But imagine if the college wasn't 90k/year?

[Anonymous]

Back to the original question: what colleges have your kids experienced the heli-pents? Ivies were mentioned. Any other schools people want to call out ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

Just because parents ask these inane questions doesn’t mean their kids want or accept their help. They will try to force the washcloths and the kids will either not pack them or just not use them. They are highly anxious parents but that doesn’t say much about how their kids actually function.

How is this highly anxious? Most parents buy their kids supplies to go to college. It's reasonable to ask other parents for some guidance on what's needed. Particularly if they, like me, buy ahead of time to take advantage of sales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back to the original question: what colleges have your kids experienced the heli-pents? Ivies were mentioned. Any other schools people want to call out ?

you really need another hobby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

My kid is going to a concert in xx city with his friends. What’s the best way for them to get there via public transportation?

I’ve seen this type of post multiple times.

My kid's college is in an out of the way location. A high number of posts on parents' page are about how to get to/from there to airport and the closest major city. It's not that easy. I have gotten really good tips, and shared them with my kid, who was grateful and would not have known otherwise.

I don't think it's unreasonable to help my kid out with this kind of thing and to share useful tips when I see them.

[Anonymous]

Also a prof, and i wish I could get you guys to hover in the right way. Call your kid every day and ask him if he has visited the career center yet. Find out what services are offered at the library, what special workshops on using footnotes correctly or what have you and encourage your child to go. Find out what tutoring services are available and encourage your child to go. If they have any group projects, ask them to make sure they are meeting and meeting milestones etc. For every story about "Larla's mother orders her pizza when she doesn't like what they are serving in the cafeteria" there's another one that begins with "I'm not sure this student has ever visited the library." Make sure the credits from junior year abroad transferred. Get them to have someone look at their resume. If you're reading the syllabus (which you shouldn't be), make sure they get all the extra credit points by doing all the extra credit assignments.

[Anonymous]

Just get on the Flown Away facebook group for parents with kids studying abroad - an amazing amount of micromanaging of their kids experiences & helpless kids who expect their parents to fix everything for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back to the original question: what colleges have your kids experienced the heli-pents? Ivies were mentioned. Any other schools people want to call out ?

All of them OP. It’s the current culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

My kid is going to a concert in xx city with his friends. What’s the best way for them to get there via public transportation?

I’ve seen this type of post multiple times.

Public transportation? More likely are the helicopter parents who hear the kids are taking the subway and freak out: “What!? You have to Uber it!!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

Just because parents ask these inane questions doesn’t mean their kids want or accept their help. They will try to force the washcloths and the kids will either not pack them or just not use them. They are highly anxious parents but that doesn’t say much about how their kids actually function.

How is this highly anxious? Most parents buy their kids supplies to go to college. It's reasonable to ask other parents for some guidance on what's needed. Particularly if they, like me, buy ahead of time to take advantage of sales.

For example, buying up property around schools. Best way to guide your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not difficult to understand. These parents simply expect their children to look after them when they grow old. That’s all.

Highly doubtful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are many definitions of helicopter parents, and sometimes very good reasons why they would hover.

I don't use social media, so unless you're one of my best friends, you wouldn't realize I'm a helicopter parent to my ASD/ADHD college kid. I feel no guilt or shame - quite the contrary. It's my duty to monitor from afar.

Jesus Christ.

go back to your hole. you don't know the struggles or raising a kit with special needs.

this parent got their kid to college, so who are you to criticize?

How is a kid supposed to learn to function independently if his or her parents never stop hovering (even from afar)?

The ASD diagnosis has been watered down so depending on the severity, hovering might be necessary. I don’t think ADHD is a hovering worthy thing.