Need private school ASAP for ADHD 5yo — eloping, dysregulated, needs active learning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

OT would not be beneficial for a child like this.

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

OT are not trained in behavior management. Find someone qualified.

Huh? OTs help kids learn skills to self regulate.

Exactly why they’d be a terrible choice in this case. This child’s needs exceed that of an OT. You might use them for supplemental therapy but you’re kidding yourself and doing your child a huge disservice if you treat a case like this by just “getting lots of OT” and putting them in another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest Auburn School in Silver Spring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest Auburn School in Silver Spring

They will toss out a kid with overly challenging behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning

So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.

They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.

I said mainstream privates , not privates that focus specifically on ADHd kids. I’m not familiar with those schools because I’m in Baltimore. And declining to admit a child who has documented episodes of physically assaulting staff- which is unfortunately what kicking the staff is- is not unreasonable and does not mean a school “only wants perfect emotionally mature 5 year olds”. You’d do your son a favor to drop the argumentative tone with people who are trying to be friendly and help you.

+1

If you are taking this tone and using this sort of language with school staff and faculty, OP, you are not doing your child any favors.

[Anonymous]

Dad also needs to get an evaluation.
He has unrealistic expectations, emotional outbursts, makes important decisions while angry, demands solutions without contributing to finding any solutions, exposes his 5 year old child with ADHD to video games.

I deeply hope the OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning

So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.

They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.

I said mainstream privates , not privates that focus specifically on ADHd kids. I’m not familiar with those schools because I’m in Baltimore. And declining to admit a child who has documented episodes of physically assaulting staff- which is unfortunately what kicking the staff is- is not unreasonable and does not mean a school “only wants perfect emotionally mature 5 year olds”. You’d do your son a favor to drop the argumentative tone with people who are trying to be friendly and help you.

+1

If you are taking this tone and using this sort of language with school staff and faculty, OP, you are not doing your child any favors.

Yes he probably needs to consider what kind of communication will be most effective. but schools are really, really bad at communicating with parents in a way that fosters collaboration. We (parents of kids with behavioral issues) have all been there. Especially when the school is failing to implement the IEP every day then calling you every day to tell you how bad your kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

A “neuropsych” doesn’t even diagnose ADHD. I’m all in favor of consulting experts but in such a young kid it’s a lot less simple than shelling out $8k for a “neuropsych,” although I’m sure many providers would take OP’s money. What OP needs is whatever paperwork is necessary to get an IEP or update it (or BIP if they don’t have one), plus and advocate to get the school to implement it or find a new placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

Seems to me that OP says it did help. It provided a diagnosis, which enabled them to get treatment, which OP says greatly improved his son's behavior at his preschool and also led to the IEP. Neuropsych evals are great tools in some situations. But, getting a neuropsych isn't going to magically cure OP's son's behavioral issues. And it might not even provide any additional insight into interventions.

OP is definitely prickly and has communication that leads me to think he's going to need to tone it down to be as effective as possible. But no one can say that he isn't doing everything he knows how to do for his son or that he is leaving recommendations from professionals on the table.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to say that my (at the time undiagnosed) 5-year-old with ADHD went off the rails in kindergarten--eloping; tearing stuff off the walls. He loved his classmates and the assistant teacher, but the teacher was a novice and the class was chaotic, and the demands of writing were too much for him. We were actually grateful when the pandemic came, because it was an end to the outbursts.

We switched him to a public school when we moved (he had been at a charter), and things were a lot better in many ways even before he had the diagnosis and medication starting in 3rd grade. Now he's in 6th grade and still has his meltdowns and learning struggles, and we have put in a TON of time with OT, therapy, and finding the right medication, but it's not kindergarten anymore, THANK GOD.

All of which is to say, I feel you, OP; you may have a rocky road ahead, but it's not going to be quite like this forever. Good luck.