Need private school ASAP for ADHD 5yo — eloping, dysregulated, needs active learning

[Anonymous]

There are a few nature schools in the area - Google them, also, call Nature Preschool at Nature Forward and ask who they recommend - they might recommend their own “Oaks” program or might recommend another nearby elementary private - I forget the name.

[Anonymous]

Maybe redshirting into Oaks would be a great fit if they are open to that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe redshirting into Oaks would be a great fit if they are open to that!

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's private school would only grant accomodations if we submitted a neuropsych evaluation.

Do you mean an ADHD diagnosis?

No, I mean exactly what I just said. My child’s private school would only grant accommodations for their learning disability if a neuropsych eval was submitted. We tried submitting an abbreviated form from the psychologist because the neuropsych contained private information. They would not accept it.

Do you mean an IQ test? What specifically do you mean?

Unbelievable. I mean a NEUROPSYCH evaluation with their diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD. Are you purposely being obtuse? Why the hell would a mainstream private school need an IQ test? The kid took the SSAT, submitted grades and did an interview.

I’m sorry this doesn’t fit the narrative you are desperately trying to push, page after page, that a neuropsych is not needed. Sounds like you are a public school parent who mistakenly thinks she knows everything about special needs and what is best for every ADHD kid…because she has one special needs kid.

[Anonymous]

Redshirt + ABA.

[Anonymous]

My now 7th grader was eloping in K at a parochial school and the experience of being disciplined there resulted in school refusal. He was partially counseled out for the next year, and I started the process of finding out what the heck was going on. It has been 7 years that has felt like 17 years. He is about to start his fifth school and has been diagnosed with multiple profound learning disabilities and medicated for ADHD. After many years, he is finally no longer an elopement risk. In all that time, he has not been accepted at any of the special needs privates that you would want your kid at (the only ones that would take him are those schools that have padded rooms for kids to calm down and deal more with behavior and emotional disability than actual teaching/learning). I would suggest 1) stop working with the advocate and hire a lawyer, or add the lawyer into the mix. Public schools don’t pay attention until you have a lawyer and you are going to be stuck with public school until the elopement is under control. No other institution other than the ones I described above will take him, and the experience of being in a setting with other disruptive kids will be traumatic and even more dysregulating 2) get a neuropsych as soon as possible - you are near Kennedy Krieger but there will be a waitlist so if you can afford it, go to Stixrud or Mindwell. 3) get in with a developmental pediatrician and get him medicated. You will have to wait for an app’t with a Kennedy Krieger dev ped - take anyone you can get but if you are able to choose, Karin Belsito is a good choice - bc there just aren’t enough of these folks, but in the meantime, one or more of the MDs in your pediatric practice likely specializes in ADHD and can at least start the medication process. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have better luck than me. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and an expensive marathon. The only place that has ever successfully taught my child anything is Lindamood Bell. All instruction is 1:1 and he went from not knowing the alphabet at age 10 (after years of trying every intervention, tutor, and therapist in the DMV) to reading at grade level in 2 years.

[Anonymous]

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to have a hard road finding a school. You should probably talk to your advocate about options.

I also think you’re going to have to get better at working with the school, wherever your child ends up. This is your child’s first year at the school. They barely know him and how he acts at home probably is quite different than what they see in the school environment. Similarly, what works at home isn’t likely to work at school. They need time to figure out what works. You’ve had years to figure him out and you only have one or a few kids.

Why is it a long hard road for us? Other parents are sending their kids to Baltimore Lab, McLean, and Diener that have ADHD and have access to OT, hourly movement breaks, unrestricted fidget toy access, small class sizes, social skills trainings, and more 1:1 support. Public school is not a good fit for him like its not a good fit for other SN kids.

Back to my original question though - what ADHD multi-sensory active all day schools do you guys have experience with? That's all my child needs. I want recommendations and experience for schools you guys have used.

It’s going to be a hard road for you because none of the types of private schools that you mention will take your child if they are eloping and hiding under desks. Lab in DC will not even entertain kids that need a movement break. Believe me. I’ve been in your shoes for 7 long years and still have not ID’d an appropriate school that meets all of my child’s needs. You will not want to send your child to the ‘private’ schools that will take your child (there are a lot of sketchy for profit schools that take kids at the expense of the public school districts that cannot have them in mainstream classrooms because they are a danger to themselves or others or are otherwise socially misaligned with the general school population).

[Anonymous]

Op. I witnessed a very similar child in our private. The parents ultimately went with a therapeutic boarding school capable of teaching the child. Arizona, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

I have a similar kid and we found that too much time on video games frequently leads to dysregulation. Since your kid is so young I’d almost say skip it completely for now until he’s older and has matured. They really throw off dopamine.

Especially before bed. Dad is clueless and flinging blame at everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

Yes. And this explains why a kid with obviously *much* more severe issues only got a diagnosis of “ADHD and anxiety.” In a week. Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

A “neuropsych” doesn’t even diagnose ADHD. I’m all in favor of consulting experts but in such a young kid it’s a lot less simple than shelling out $8k for a “neuropsych,” although I’m sure many providers would take OP’s money. What OP needs is whatever paperwork is necessary to get an IEP or update it (or BIP if they don’t have one), plus and advocate to get the school to implement it or find a new placement.

They most assuredly do, and you can remove the ridiculous scare quotes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

A “neuropsych” doesn’t even diagnose ADHD. I’m all in favor of consulting experts but in such a young kid it’s a lot less simple than shelling out $8k for a “neuropsych,” although I’m sure many providers would take OP’s money. What OP needs is whatever paperwork is necessary to get an IEP or update it (or BIP if they don’t have one), plus and advocate to get the school to implement it or find a new placement.

Stop providing misinformation. A neuropsych diagnoses ADHD, using the TOVA, questionnaires, and other tests of attention. The evaluation lasts between 4-8 hours and will also help determine whether behaviors are due to learning disabilities, mental illness and other conditions. In the case of this adopted child, is important to figure out which behaviors are driven by anxiety, FASD/in útero drug exposure, reactive attachment disorder, learning disabilities, or neurodivergence. A pediatrician or school psychologist doesn’t have the expertise for this.

Not only that, everyone on this thread agrees that the school SPED departments are overworked and aren’t always 100% operating in the best interest in the child, and yet you are recommending that their evaluation and recommendations are all that’s needed?

You are not describing a “neuropsych.” You are describing a different type of evaluation. We had a “neuropsych” that included none of what you listed. Sounds like you feel like you got adequate testing which is great. But in general a “neuropsych” means a battery of cognitive testing not everything else you listed.

You’re so wrong, and yet you continue to double down. Odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a few nature schools in the area - Google them, also, call Nature Preschool at Nature Forward and ask who they recommend - they might recommend their own “Oaks” program or might recommend another nearby elementary private - I forget the name.

Those schools aren’t taking kids who hit, kick and elope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Diagnosed within a week? Have you actually had a neuropsych evaluation?

It usually takes months to get a diagnosis. When you have a child like this a) you want the best and most experienced provider - a developmental pediatrician or a highly recommended psychologist to do a full neuropsych. You must have one.

Also, is your kid in therapy? He needs to be. If he spent any time in an orphanage or with bio parents, I would be concerned that there are other issues at play. (This is also why you need a neuropsych evaluation). I say this from experience with an adopted child with intense emotional dysregulation (only at home, great in school). They were later diagnosed with autism as a teen and have struggled with school refusal. You need to stop being so defensive while simultaneously being in denial. There isn’t a magic solution here - no magic school, no magic OT program. Just hard work.

Also, a FIVE YEAR OLD with ADHD should not be playing video games. And playing video games (or any screen time) before bed is absolutely moronic. You need to take a parenting class for kids with special needs pronto.

It does not take a neuropsych to get an ADHD diagnosis. And, if you have good relationships with your school and pediatrician, you can get diagnosed within a week. A neuropsych is not always recommended as early as age 5.

Anyone doling out ADHD diagnoses to 5 year olds without extensive testing should have their licenses revoked.

This. Especially with a kid with violent behaviors. When we were getting my kid diagnosed with ADHD and later autism, I was looking for “the best of the best” providers and obviously, neuropsych evaluations were recommended by all.

I'm sure that you believe you made the very best decisions for your child. But they are not the very best decisions for every child. I see a lot of value in getting a quick diagnosis so that you can get immediate services and accommodations in school. Those quick evaluations do not prevent you from getting additional evaluations. But failure to get a diagnosis can prevent your child from getting school services.

When kids are that young they usually don’t need a diagnosis and can get services through a school assessment of developmental delay. But yes, if you need something quick to push that, do so. An expensive neuropsych in 6-18 months won’t help now.

Hmm. Has the “quick diagnosis” and advice from that provider helped? It sure doesn't look like it. The kid absolutely needs a neuropsych and should get on a list ASAP. They should also be looking for a a whole new mental health team here.

A “neuropsych” doesn’t even diagnose ADHD. I’m all in favor of consulting experts but in such a young kid it’s a lot less simple than shelling out $8k for a “neuropsych,” although I’m sure many providers would take OP’s money. What OP needs is whatever paperwork is necessary to get an IEP or update it (or BIP if they don’t have one), plus and advocate to get the school to implement it or find a new placement.

Stop providing misinformation. A neuropsych diagnoses ADHD, using the TOVA, questionnaires, and other tests of attention. The evaluation lasts between 4-8 hours and will also help determine whether behaviors are due to learning disabilities, mental illness and other conditions. In the case of this adopted child, is important to figure out which behaviors are driven by anxiety, FASD/in útero drug exposure, reactive attachment disorder, learning disabilities, or neurodivergence. A pediatrician or school psychologist doesn’t have the expertise for this.

Not only that, everyone on this thread agrees that the school SPED departments are overworked and aren’t always 100% operating in the best interest in the child, and yet you are recommending that their evaluation and recommendations are all that’s needed?

You are not describing a “neuropsych.” You are describing a different type of evaluation. We had a “neuropsych” that included none of what you listed. Sounds like you feel like you got adequate testing which is great. But in general a “neuropsych” means a battery of cognitive testing not everything else you listed.

You’re so wrong, and yet you continue to double down. Odd.

Actually you’re wrong lady, here’s why:

A neuropsychological evaluation is a comprehensive assessment designed to measure cognitive, emotional, and behavioral functioning. It goes beyond standard psychological testing by examining how the brain’s various systems—memory, attention, executive function, language, and more—work together. These evaluations are tailored to the individual and focus on identifying strengths, pinpointing challenges, and uncovering the underlying reasons for observed difficulties.
At Chester Neuropsychology, our evaluations are highly personalized, incorporating evidence-based practices, cutting-edge tools, and a holistic view of the individual’s history, environment, and goals. This thorough process ensures that results are accurate and meaningful, guiding effective interventions and supports.
When Might a Neuropsychological Evaluation Be Needed?
Neuropsychological evaluations can address a wide range of concerns. Here are some common scenarios for children, adults, and older adults:
For Children and Adolescents:
Struggling with attention, focus, or impulsivity
Experiencing difficulties in reading, writing, or math
Social challenges, anxiety, or behavioral concerns
Assessing developmental conditions like ADHD or autism
For Adults:
Persistent difficulties in focus or organization that impact work
Mood or anxiety concerns that interfere with daily life
Suspicions of ADHD, autism, or a learning disability
Understanding cognitive changes after a medical event (e.g., head injury or illness)
For Older Adults:
Memory concerns or forgetfulness
Changes in problem-solving or decision-making
Suspected neurodegenerative conditions like Alzheimer’s disease
Assessing fitness for work, driving, or independent living
The Evaluation Process
While every evaluation is customized, the process typically includes:
Intake Session: A detailed discussion about concerns, history, and goals.
Testing Sessions: A combination of interactive and standardized tests to evaluate cognitive and emotional functioning.
Feedback and Recommendations: A comprehensive discussion of results, tailored strategies, and next steps.
Comprehensive Report: A detailed document summarizing findings and providing actionable recommendations for interventions, accommodations, and further care.
Why Are Neuropsychological Evaluations So Valuable?
Understanding the root causes of difficulties is crucial to addressing them effectively. For example:
A child struggling in school may benefit from accommodations like extra time or specialized instruction once their learning profile is understood.
An adult navigating career challenges may uncover ADHD-related executive function difficulties and find strategies to thrive.
An older adult with memory concerns may gain clarity on whether their difficulties are part of normal aging or something more serious, like early dementia.
In each case, the insights from an evaluation empower individuals and families to make informed decisions and pursue interventions that truly make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to send my child like this to this school but alas we didnt have the money. They might have good suggestions for younger years as well.

https://www.thehowardgardnerschool.com/