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Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone is actually afraid of gay people. No one hesitates walking down a dark street, looking around for gays. It's just a bizarre concept and I'm over it. People arent afraid of gays, and most people by the polling don't think about gays or want to stop gay people from having gay liaisons. They just don't like pride parades. If Gallup asked, "would you rather have your child's teacher be openly gay or have a pride parade on your street every day," the teacher is winning every time.
No one’s afraid of gays…they just want no parades, no books about gay people in libraries, no mention of it in schools, no gay people in the military (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell), no gay movie characters, no gay people celebrating their identity in public, no gay people getting married. They just want to be able to call gay people deviants, perverts, and filth, and shove them back into the closet where they won’t bother anybody. But sure, nobody’s actually SCARED of them, so it’s all OK and there’s no bigotry
Being objective- we call everyone names. Everyone. It's not clear why gay people expect to be any different, or why people disliking them or judging them is holding them back-- we are ALL judged for our physical appearance, lifestyle choices, etc.
But gays are the only ones who claim that it's a phobia, like how people react to spiders or confined spaces. We don't say femophobia, noirphobia, karenphobia. We only say homophobia, and I think that's to poke at the masculine tendency to say "I'm not scared!" And I agree, they aren't scared, they just don't like it. It's okay. We are a nation of people that don't like each other.
Ummm have you ever heard of misogyny?
Sure it’s not a “phobia” though so that doesn’t count?
That's my point. We don't call it femi-phobia. The etymology of misogyny comes from the Greek word for hate, not fear. Most of these terms are describing hatred. Homophobia is the only term I can think of about disdain for a group that is about fear vs hatred.
Homophobia, as a word, is a neologism from the 1960s that is attempting to frame the discussion and convince people that everyone is looking around dark corners for gays.
“I don’t hate X, I just don’t want to be around them” is a form of phobia though. Loke garter snakes. I don’t hate garter snakes and I know they won’t hurt me. I just don’t want to be near them and would prefer they go live their lives under a rock somewhere where I don’t have to encounter them.
Most misogynists still want women around, just in a subservient role.
I knew a misogynist once. He fell in love with a woman who didn't put up with that mess and then he pretty much lived out his life in a subservient role to the person he loved. He was a flawed person but he had a good heart and he never resisted change or acknowledging mistakes. I miss him.
If you know people who are senselessly bigoted towards any group of people, talk to them and give them a chance to evolve. Most bigotry is rooted in ignorance with people formulating blanket opinions of a certain group of people from some means other than having shared spaces in their communities with those people.
I’m glad to hear that your friend was able to change his views over time and find a deeper, more satisfying relationship.
I’ve been trying to combat bigotry when I encounter it, but it’s hard for me as an individual to compete with news outlets, social media, and influencers with a huge reach, whose income depends on keeping people divided and angry. Online, if I offer something to temper the bigotry, I usually get called names and/or blocked.
Even on here, overtly racist comments get reported and deleted, but statements like “lazy immigrants” and “the violent left” get thrown around all the time as tropes. I’ve never been able to get through to those posters and change their minds. They’re convinced what’s inside their heads is reality.
Unfortunately, hatred is addictive and profitable. Outrage drives clicks and views. Until Americans wise up and walk away from the anger machine, we’re going to continue to be at each other’s throats. We need to ask who is trying to divide us, and why.